Oh the boredom that sets in. And the largest problem: I know that were I to try and do everything in my normal daily routine (aka work, clean, cook, etc), I would fail miserably. I can barely take a shower without needing a 3 to 4 hour nap afterwards.
I walk in the kitchen, prepare leftovers on a plate, eat the left overs, have possibly enough energy to rinse the plate off, which takes me 10x longer right now, and sit in my recliner to pass out.
You would think that I was 97 years-old with a ton of health problems the way I sleep right now. I can go to bed at 2000 H and not wake up, save a possible bathroom trip at 0500 H which is when my bladder is trained that I am awake, until 0830/0900 H. That's over 12 hours of sleep. And then what do I do: I take at least two more 3 hour naps in the day.
The great part is that I know it's allowing my body to heal. I can feel all three of my incisions itching which means they are beginning to heal. They are even beginning to appear more closed and slightly, and I mean slightly smaller.
Ahh... to the life of healing: may I not remember most of these hours that ADD seems to suck away since I cannot remain focused on any one thing for longer than an hour!
4.25.2011
The Crazy Unplanned
I knew there are always the unplanned, unknown events in life. I just typically don't take the time to worry about it. The great part of that is when they come I typically just take it as it goes. The phrase "C'est la vie" comes to mind frequently ("Such is life" for those who are unfamiliar with the expression). Of course Christ is the driving point behind all of that: in Matthew 6:27, Jesus says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?".
I don't say all this to make it sound like I don't worry or as a pat-on-the-back statement because I'm better than everyone else. I have, do, and will struggle with worry in my life. It's just that through time with Christ and constant prayer, I have found myself in a place where I more easily realease to Him the situations that worry me, whether in the here and now or to come. Like Christ said, there is not anything worrying will change.
Anyway, I prefaced this post with that becuase the past couple days of my life have been permeated by opportunities to worry. I have thankfully held tight to my Savior who has helped me focus on Him and allow everything to play out as it will. It all began the morning of Thursday, April 21.
I was preparing to go to work when I looked at Ben, my husband, and said, "I have this really weird pain in my RLQ (Right Lower Quadrant - aka right abdomen). Oh well, I think it will go away."
We both left for work and I didn't think anything of it. However, as the morning persisted, so did the pain. And it didn't decrease. It just kept increasing in sharpness and severeity. Finally, one of the nurses I work with told me I really should call my doctor. I relented and did around 1100 H CST.
I told his nurse what was going on and what I thought it wasn't: I was almost 100% sure it wasn't a UTI (no LBP, no burning during or frequent urination, no discharge or discoloration, and definitely no weird smell) and that it wasn't related to "that time of the month" (I had JUST finished my period with no complications and not much pain). She said she would call me back after she spoke with him.
When we finally quit playing phone tag from going to lunch (yes, crazy me in pain ate lunch), Dr. Cooley's nurse told me I needed to come see him ASAP. By this point I was beginning to wonder if it was my appendix but just kept taking it as it came. I told my partner what was going on, clocked out, and checked in. This all happened around 1400 H CST.
After the examination, Dr. Cooley was pretty sure it was my appendix but wanted to run STAT UA, blood work, and CT. He wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant (Dear God please don't let me be!), it wasn't a UTI, and the CT should show that it was or was not my appendix. So at 1500 H CST I went downstairs and checked in.
I was quickly pulled back to give my UA and have blood drawn and then the long wait began. Around 1520 H CST, I was given the NASTIEST drink I've ever had in my life. It was the barrium oral contrast in the Berry Berry flavor: yum! NOT! About an hour later and severely doubled over in pain, I was pulled back for the CT. I checked back in with Dr. Cooley and Ben met me. Not 15 minutes later, Dr. Cooley and Dr. Taylor, my surgeon, came in the room: 'Great news! CT is normal!"
I stared at both of them and exlaimed: "That's great! So why am I in so much pain?!" We all laughed.
Dr. Taylor proceeded to examine me. The second I got up to walk, Dr. Taylor says, "Uh oh! She's got the shuffle." He then had me sit up on the bed and examined my pelvic area. After examination, he was pretty sure it was my appendix, however he wanted an ultrasound done to ensure it wasn't my ovaries due to the (-) CT. Unfortunately, by this point it was 1645 H CST and they couldn't do the US at the clinic.
I was given orders to be admitted to OLOL Hospital, put in a room, given pain meds, and have a STAT US. I was hoping this would mean the process would be quick and we would know shortly what was going on. Unfortunately, it did not.
We arrived at main admissions around 1700 H CST, where we waited for at least 45 minutes before finally being transported to my room. Once I was in the room, I had the pleasant experince of being stuck 3 out of 4 times before my IV took. I was then given some pain meds and told I should be taken for the US shortly. Yet, STAT did not mean in the hospital, what my nurse, myself, Ben, or Dr. Taylor thought it would. My nurse continually called to find out what was going on. It wasn't until around 2130 H CST I was told I would need to be catheterized.
That took a total of maybe 2 minutes, which we thought then I would be ready to go and be taken shortly. Again, it did not. I waited with that piece of plastic shoved up me for another hour. Then when I was finally taken for the US, I was prodded all over my abdominal area just to find, she couldn't do it with the probe on my abdomen. This meant I didn't need to be catheterized. Woo! All that for nothing! She stuck the probe inside me and got the pics she needed.
After waiting a total of 5 1/2 hours for this process, I was transported back to my room to wait for the results. I arrived in my room shortly before 2300 H, and within a matter of minutes, Dr. Taylor was in my room.
"Good and bad news," he said. "Your ovaries look great but we still were not able to see your appendix with the US."
He then explained the process of what he would need to do so he could check everything internally. Surgery was inevitable, removal of the appendix was still up in the air.
Seconds after he left my room, my nurse came in to prep me for surgery. "Now this is what I call STAT!" I thought. Within minutes of her prepping me, the stretcher came in to take me. They moved me from my bed to the stretcher, Ben put his shoes on, and we were on our way. Once I arrived in the holding area for pre-op, they gave me some wonderful sleeping meds and the rest I don't remember.
I woke up in post-op holding hearing, "Mrs. Daigle. Mrs. Daigle its ok. We need you to wake up. Mrs. Daigle." I finally came to with a nurse who stayed by my bedside until I was back in my room. She showed me a picture they had taken of my innards and told me they had removed a hemangiomatous cyst off my ovary and removed my appendix.
I was later told that I didn't actually have surgery until 0130 H CST because a trauma case came in. However, I was out for all of it so I didn't even know I was waiting. Lucky me!
I was hospitalized until Friday night, where I was given the ok to go home because I had held down two meals (Breakfast didn't take because of the anesthesia).
So now I lay around my apartment taking some type of pain med and sleeping the hours away. I have been told no heavy lifting, no straining, and don't return to work for 7 days, which means no work this entire week. I have a feeling I'm going to become insane as boredom continues to set in. Thankfully, I am sleeping a lot so I don't have too much time to be bored :)
There are several things I am extremely thankful for through this time though:
1) God has given me an overwhelming amount of patience and consumed my worry with peace through all of this. It has been one huge opportunity to give all to HIm. I could have worried about surgery, what was wrong, how I would heal, etc. Yet, He has been gracious and bestowed His unfathomable peace on me.
2) My wonderful Husband who has been extremely supportive and cared for me beyond any expectations I have or did have. I continually grow to love him more daily and this situation has only deepened our relationship, I feel.
3) My family who, even if they couldn't be there, have continually checked on me to make sure I'm ok. My mom, especially, who came and stayed with me most of the day Friday while Ben had to work.
4) My friends who have made sure Ben was cared for and who came to visit me or have contacted me by phone if they couldn't be there.
I have seen just how much God has blessed and continues to bless me and Ben. I am glad that through this stiuation, I have chosen to rely on God's strength and not worry about what I cannot control. Hopefully, I will remember this time and use it as a reminder for those situations to come that may seem to cloud my view. Ever growing, always learning, I hope I apply this for the rest of my days.
I don't say all this to make it sound like I don't worry or as a pat-on-the-back statement because I'm better than everyone else. I have, do, and will struggle with worry in my life. It's just that through time with Christ and constant prayer, I have found myself in a place where I more easily realease to Him the situations that worry me, whether in the here and now or to come. Like Christ said, there is not anything worrying will change.
Anyway, I prefaced this post with that becuase the past couple days of my life have been permeated by opportunities to worry. I have thankfully held tight to my Savior who has helped me focus on Him and allow everything to play out as it will. It all began the morning of Thursday, April 21.
I was preparing to go to work when I looked at Ben, my husband, and said, "I have this really weird pain in my RLQ (Right Lower Quadrant - aka right abdomen). Oh well, I think it will go away."
We both left for work and I didn't think anything of it. However, as the morning persisted, so did the pain. And it didn't decrease. It just kept increasing in sharpness and severeity. Finally, one of the nurses I work with told me I really should call my doctor. I relented and did around 1100 H CST.
I told his nurse what was going on and what I thought it wasn't: I was almost 100% sure it wasn't a UTI (no LBP, no burning during or frequent urination, no discharge or discoloration, and definitely no weird smell) and that it wasn't related to "that time of the month" (I had JUST finished my period with no complications and not much pain). She said she would call me back after she spoke with him.
When we finally quit playing phone tag from going to lunch (yes, crazy me in pain ate lunch), Dr. Cooley's nurse told me I needed to come see him ASAP. By this point I was beginning to wonder if it was my appendix but just kept taking it as it came. I told my partner what was going on, clocked out, and checked in. This all happened around 1400 H CST.
After the examination, Dr. Cooley was pretty sure it was my appendix but wanted to run STAT UA, blood work, and CT. He wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant (Dear God please don't let me be!), it wasn't a UTI, and the CT should show that it was or was not my appendix. So at 1500 H CST I went downstairs and checked in.
I was quickly pulled back to give my UA and have blood drawn and then the long wait began. Around 1520 H CST, I was given the NASTIEST drink I've ever had in my life. It was the barrium oral contrast in the Berry Berry flavor: yum! NOT! About an hour later and severely doubled over in pain, I was pulled back for the CT. I checked back in with Dr. Cooley and Ben met me. Not 15 minutes later, Dr. Cooley and Dr. Taylor, my surgeon, came in the room: 'Great news! CT is normal!"
I stared at both of them and exlaimed: "That's great! So why am I in so much pain?!" We all laughed.
Dr. Taylor proceeded to examine me. The second I got up to walk, Dr. Taylor says, "Uh oh! She's got the shuffle." He then had me sit up on the bed and examined my pelvic area. After examination, he was pretty sure it was my appendix, however he wanted an ultrasound done to ensure it wasn't my ovaries due to the (-) CT. Unfortunately, by this point it was 1645 H CST and they couldn't do the US at the clinic.
I was given orders to be admitted to OLOL Hospital, put in a room, given pain meds, and have a STAT US. I was hoping this would mean the process would be quick and we would know shortly what was going on. Unfortunately, it did not.
We arrived at main admissions around 1700 H CST, where we waited for at least 45 minutes before finally being transported to my room. Once I was in the room, I had the pleasant experince of being stuck 3 out of 4 times before my IV took. I was then given some pain meds and told I should be taken for the US shortly. Yet, STAT did not mean in the hospital, what my nurse, myself, Ben, or Dr. Taylor thought it would. My nurse continually called to find out what was going on. It wasn't until around 2130 H CST I was told I would need to be catheterized.
That took a total of maybe 2 minutes, which we thought then I would be ready to go and be taken shortly. Again, it did not. I waited with that piece of plastic shoved up me for another hour. Then when I was finally taken for the US, I was prodded all over my abdominal area just to find, she couldn't do it with the probe on my abdomen. This meant I didn't need to be catheterized. Woo! All that for nothing! She stuck the probe inside me and got the pics she needed.
After waiting a total of 5 1/2 hours for this process, I was transported back to my room to wait for the results. I arrived in my room shortly before 2300 H, and within a matter of minutes, Dr. Taylor was in my room.
"Good and bad news," he said. "Your ovaries look great but we still were not able to see your appendix with the US."
He then explained the process of what he would need to do so he could check everything internally. Surgery was inevitable, removal of the appendix was still up in the air.
Seconds after he left my room, my nurse came in to prep me for surgery. "Now this is what I call STAT!" I thought. Within minutes of her prepping me, the stretcher came in to take me. They moved me from my bed to the stretcher, Ben put his shoes on, and we were on our way. Once I arrived in the holding area for pre-op, they gave me some wonderful sleeping meds and the rest I don't remember.
I woke up in post-op holding hearing, "Mrs. Daigle. Mrs. Daigle its ok. We need you to wake up. Mrs. Daigle." I finally came to with a nurse who stayed by my bedside until I was back in my room. She showed me a picture they had taken of my innards and told me they had removed a hemangiomatous cyst off my ovary and removed my appendix.
I was later told that I didn't actually have surgery until 0130 H CST because a trauma case came in. However, I was out for all of it so I didn't even know I was waiting. Lucky me!
I was hospitalized until Friday night, where I was given the ok to go home because I had held down two meals (Breakfast didn't take because of the anesthesia).
So now I lay around my apartment taking some type of pain med and sleeping the hours away. I have been told no heavy lifting, no straining, and don't return to work for 7 days, which means no work this entire week. I have a feeling I'm going to become insane as boredom continues to set in. Thankfully, I am sleeping a lot so I don't have too much time to be bored :)
There are several things I am extremely thankful for through this time though:
1) God has given me an overwhelming amount of patience and consumed my worry with peace through all of this. It has been one huge opportunity to give all to HIm. I could have worried about surgery, what was wrong, how I would heal, etc. Yet, He has been gracious and bestowed His unfathomable peace on me.
2) My wonderful Husband who has been extremely supportive and cared for me beyond any expectations I have or did have. I continually grow to love him more daily and this situation has only deepened our relationship, I feel.
3) My family who, even if they couldn't be there, have continually checked on me to make sure I'm ok. My mom, especially, who came and stayed with me most of the day Friday while Ben had to work.
4) My friends who have made sure Ben was cared for and who came to visit me or have contacted me by phone if they couldn't be there.
I have seen just how much God has blessed and continues to bless me and Ben. I am glad that through this stiuation, I have chosen to rely on God's strength and not worry about what I cannot control. Hopefully, I will remember this time and use it as a reminder for those situations to come that may seem to cloud my view. Ever growing, always learning, I hope I apply this for the rest of my days.
11.28.2010
Home Sweet Home
Yes! Not that it hasn't been home since we came home after the honeymoon; it's just now all in place with no junk (well most junk) thrown away. Definitely no boxes!
Here are some pictures for those who haven't or won't be able to see it for a while. This is for you Linds :)
Although you obviously can't see the lithograph, the picture hanging on the left side of the bed was done by Ben, inspired by me :) Didn't find that out until after we were ready to hang it on the wall, but it's no wonder I love it: Ben knows me quite well!
Some of our many books :) We aspire to have a library one day.
Chests of drawers and hamper, which, surpisingly, all the dirty clothes makes it to...I'm wondering how long that will last.
Our "hallway" (if it can be called that). You will soon notice our small area requires a few extra "space organizers"
Our tiny shower. The corner caddy is awesome! And I am still in love with the colors/print we picked.
The tiny vanity. We've made it work though. Notice he is gracious enough to let me keep out the everyday hair products I need.
The living area. For not a large space, I think we've made it rather functional. We're just not quite sure where the Christmas tree will go...
Our big bookshelf :) LOVE IT!!! It's on the same wall as the green love seat and recliner. If you notice at the top, Ben loves swords. These are all Japanese swords: Samurai swords, if you want to be exact. From the top: Katana, Washizaki, and Tanto. Just a few of his many: there are 2 Lord of the Rings replica swords waiting to be hung in our bedroom, plus a Polynesian War club and 2 daito (practice swords in plain-people speak) in his closet. There is also a box he has with ceremonial dress from Yemen with 3 knives for the outfit. More specifically, we had to make sure we communicated that he would only practice outdoors for the rest of his life. His old bedroom at his parents has plenty of black marks on the ceiling from practicing indoors :)
Our desk,filing cabinet, and another "space organizer". They are technically in the dining area but we have yet to even have a table.
My teeny tiny kitchen. I'm definitely down to utilizing every last inch of usable space in this place. I think I will pee my pants from excitement the day we ever move and my kitchen is any larger! I've become so used to working my way around that I don't even think of how small it is (THANK YOU LORD!).
Like I said: utilization of every last inch! The open space is what I spread myself out between while cooking. I've learned to become really creative :)
The masterpiece leaning against the wall is going to go in the middle of the crosses. It's a ceramic tile project Ben made during a ceramic class.
So there you have it. This is our home...our very first home sweet home :) I'm absolutely loving married life. To be with Benjamin whenever we're both home is awesome! Sometimes we do things together, but even when we're doing our own thing I find the thought of knowing he's there so comforting. He truly is my best friend, the one God intended for me. And it makes me smile thinking of how blessed I am by God and how much fun it was "making" our very first home.
Here are some pictures for those who haven't or won't be able to see it for a while. This is for you Linds :)
Although you obviously can't see the lithograph, the picture hanging on the left side of the bed was done by Ben, inspired by me :) Didn't find that out until after we were ready to hang it on the wall, but it's no wonder I love it: Ben knows me quite well!
Some of our many books :) We aspire to have a library one day.
Chests of drawers and hamper, which, surpisingly, all the dirty clothes makes it to...I'm wondering how long that will last.
Our "hallway" (if it can be called that). You will soon notice our small area requires a few extra "space organizers"
Our tiny shower. The corner caddy is awesome! And I am still in love with the colors/print we picked.
The tiny vanity. We've made it work though. Notice he is gracious enough to let me keep out the everyday hair products I need.
The living area. For not a large space, I think we've made it rather functional. We're just not quite sure where the Christmas tree will go...
Our big bookshelf :) LOVE IT!!! It's on the same wall as the green love seat and recliner. If you notice at the top, Ben loves swords. These are all Japanese swords: Samurai swords, if you want to be exact. From the top: Katana, Washizaki, and Tanto. Just a few of his many: there are 2 Lord of the Rings replica swords waiting to be hung in our bedroom, plus a Polynesian War club and 2 daito (practice swords in plain-people speak) in his closet. There is also a box he has with ceremonial dress from Yemen with 3 knives for the outfit. More specifically, we had to make sure we communicated that he would only practice outdoors for the rest of his life. His old bedroom at his parents has plenty of black marks on the ceiling from practicing indoors :)
Our desk,filing cabinet, and another "space organizer". They are technically in the dining area but we have yet to even have a table.
My teeny tiny kitchen. I'm definitely down to utilizing every last inch of usable space in this place. I think I will pee my pants from excitement the day we ever move and my kitchen is any larger! I've become so used to working my way around that I don't even think of how small it is (THANK YOU LORD!).
Like I said: utilization of every last inch! The open space is what I spread myself out between while cooking. I've learned to become really creative :)
The masterpiece leaning against the wall is going to go in the middle of the crosses. It's a ceramic tile project Ben made during a ceramic class.
So there you have it. This is our home...our very first home sweet home :) I'm absolutely loving married life. To be with Benjamin whenever we're both home is awesome! Sometimes we do things together, but even when we're doing our own thing I find the thought of knowing he's there so comforting. He truly is my best friend, the one God intended for me. And it makes me smile thinking of how blessed I am by God and how much fun it was "making" our very first home.
11.09.2010
The Wait is Over
Wow! I knew it had been forever since I posted, especially with the wedding fogging my mind (in a good way, of course). Hopefully, I will become more in a habit of blogging on a frequent basis...expounding on the day and allowing for mind expansion through thought is healthy, I believe.
Anyway, Ben and I are finally married! It's been 17 days since we said "I do" and I must say I'm loving it :)
It doesn't feel extremely different as far as our relationship goes. It's just nice knowing my best friend will either already be home or coming home after I get home from work. It's enjoyable, in a share-the-burden sort of way, to have to discuss and work out our finances; at least, when we agree it is enjoyable. Fortunately, we haven't hit any big road blocks there yet.
One aspect of marriage I never contemplated is getting your first home organized and made into a home! It's a lot of work: shopping with the gift cards to purchase remaining needed items, washing new dishes/utensils/etc, organizing all the different bills/accessories/rooms (even when its not much space). Just the thought alone makes me tired. However, my wonderful husband helps me with a lot of the organization and has even made comments about how he enjoys doing the every day tasks with me.
Ahhh the newness of marriage! I know it will not always be this way, but I enjoy it. And I enjoy knowing that as time goes on it will only get better because we will have spent more time knowing one another.
I don't know why but this reminded me of an incident with a patient today:
The reason evades me at this moment, but a male patient, with his wife in the room, looked me straight in the eye while saying, "The man it head of the house and what he says goes [or something to that affect]. You can look it up in the Bible; that's excatly what it says."
I looked at his wife, who was retorting, then back to the patient, who was trying to negate her with a higher volume as he repeated himself.
I couldn't listen to this man, who is blatantly incorrect (see Ephesians 5:22-33), without stating what I knew to be right. Not only had I known this reference from previous reading, but Dr. Kevin McKee had used it, at our request, in Ben and my ceremony. So without hesitating, I looked at the patient and said, "No sir, it states the exact opposite of that. Scripture blatantly says the man is to be head of the house as Christ is the church and laid himself down for her. He is to be a servant leader, not dictate." Of course, I paraphrased, but I knew it was close to hitting the nail on the head.
Unfortunately, the man would not listen. I feel terrible for his wife. And I love my husband even more!
I am so grateful Ben whole-heartedly believes what scripture says in Ephesians and honestly strives to be that type of husband.
I am so amazingly blessed by God!
Anyway, Ben and I are finally married! It's been 17 days since we said "I do" and I must say I'm loving it :)
It doesn't feel extremely different as far as our relationship goes. It's just nice knowing my best friend will either already be home or coming home after I get home from work. It's enjoyable, in a share-the-burden sort of way, to have to discuss and work out our finances; at least, when we agree it is enjoyable. Fortunately, we haven't hit any big road blocks there yet.
One aspect of marriage I never contemplated is getting your first home organized and made into a home! It's a lot of work: shopping with the gift cards to purchase remaining needed items, washing new dishes/utensils/etc, organizing all the different bills/accessories/rooms (even when its not much space). Just the thought alone makes me tired. However, my wonderful husband helps me with a lot of the organization and has even made comments about how he enjoys doing the every day tasks with me.
Ahhh the newness of marriage! I know it will not always be this way, but I enjoy it. And I enjoy knowing that as time goes on it will only get better because we will have spent more time knowing one another.
I don't know why but this reminded me of an incident with a patient today:
The reason evades me at this moment, but a male patient, with his wife in the room, looked me straight in the eye while saying, "The man it head of the house and what he says goes [or something to that affect]. You can look it up in the Bible; that's excatly what it says."
I looked at his wife, who was retorting, then back to the patient, who was trying to negate her with a higher volume as he repeated himself.
I couldn't listen to this man, who is blatantly incorrect (see Ephesians 5:22-33), without stating what I knew to be right. Not only had I known this reference from previous reading, but Dr. Kevin McKee had used it, at our request, in Ben and my ceremony. So without hesitating, I looked at the patient and said, "No sir, it states the exact opposite of that. Scripture blatantly says the man is to be head of the house as Christ is the church and laid himself down for her. He is to be a servant leader, not dictate." Of course, I paraphrased, but I knew it was close to hitting the nail on the head.
Unfortunately, the man would not listen. I feel terrible for his wife. And I love my husband even more!
I am so grateful Ben whole-heartedly believes what scripture says in Ephesians and honestly strives to be that type of husband.
I am so amazingly blessed by God!
9.13.2010
The Wind of Excitement
Yes, it is quite exciting in my life right now. I just bought the bubbles for the wedding and counting down the days make my smile larger and cheeks rosier (yes, I blush quite easily). There is nothing in the world that would stop me from marrying Ben.
I say this only because as Ben and I were eating dinner at my parents last night, my dad decided to pop the most random question: "So do you guys want to back out? Cuz after this point there is no turning back." Oh if you only knew my father. He wasn't being 100% serious but at the same time, I think he was trying to scare Ben, make sure Ben really wants to take this on as a man. Apparently, both our faces showed complete bewilderment due to the unstoppable laughter which bubbled out of my mother. She said we both had the same expression, which in her words was, "What kind of question is that?".
Ben and I have discussed a lot together, drawing us closer and uniting our team more. Knowing that I will be marrying my best friend in 40 days only to begin the rest of our lives together is extremely exciting to me. I have had several people ask me if I'm ready or if I'm scared, and honestly, I'm not. I don't know if it's because of the fights Ben and I have worked through or the strength in our communication, but whatever the reason, I have no ifs, ands, or buts about saying "I do".
I believe it is safe to say that after 9 months of dating and 9 months of engagement, I am spending my last month as a single woman with my "head in the clouds" or "on cloud nine". Ironically, I have spent little time in that "feeling of floating" place. And it scared me quite a bit as people kept talking only of how exciting dating was or how everything was "just dandy" and they hardly fought. Looking back, I am glad it happened this way. Ben and I have such a strong foundation that most people build in their first year of marriage. Thus, I'm hoping our first year will be what most people experience during their engagement.
No matter what, I'm excited about coming home and knowing my best friend will be there!
I say this only because as Ben and I were eating dinner at my parents last night, my dad decided to pop the most random question: "So do you guys want to back out? Cuz after this point there is no turning back." Oh if you only knew my father. He wasn't being 100% serious but at the same time, I think he was trying to scare Ben, make sure Ben really wants to take this on as a man. Apparently, both our faces showed complete bewilderment due to the unstoppable laughter which bubbled out of my mother. She said we both had the same expression, which in her words was, "What kind of question is that?".
Ben and I have discussed a lot together, drawing us closer and uniting our team more. Knowing that I will be marrying my best friend in 40 days only to begin the rest of our lives together is extremely exciting to me. I have had several people ask me if I'm ready or if I'm scared, and honestly, I'm not. I don't know if it's because of the fights Ben and I have worked through or the strength in our communication, but whatever the reason, I have no ifs, ands, or buts about saying "I do".
I believe it is safe to say that after 9 months of dating and 9 months of engagement, I am spending my last month as a single woman with my "head in the clouds" or "on cloud nine". Ironically, I have spent little time in that "feeling of floating" place. And it scared me quite a bit as people kept talking only of how exciting dating was or how everything was "just dandy" and they hardly fought. Looking back, I am glad it happened this way. Ben and I have such a strong foundation that most people build in their first year of marriage. Thus, I'm hoping our first year will be what most people experience during their engagement.
No matter what, I'm excited about coming home and knowing my best friend will be there!
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