Memory Monday v. 17

I want to cherish for a lifetime the way you seem to beg me to be a part of your world. The way you're typically not a fan of me leaving the room and you're seemingly always following me around. Though at times it seems I can't get a moment to myself or work on anything I have around the house, I know these moments will pass all too soon (because let's face it, it seems like yesterday I was the kid playing house and taking care of my "baby") and I hope that I will drop whatever I'm doing to enter your world. To make memories with you. And to show you that you are loved! So much more than imperfect words and actions will ever tell you.

There are so many days that I selfishly find myself wishing myself away to some far away place where I am not needed and I can use all the time for myself. But then there are those times when Zoë comes crawling up to me with a book or toy in hand, pulls herself up to get as close as possible to my face, and promptly proceeds to shove said object towards me.

She wants to be with me.

And I find myself wondering why I would wish to live alone. Forever.

What purpose does that have? And how would I not miss out on love, joy, excitement? Sure, it might gaurd me from the pain, sorrow, rejection, etc, but a life not shared is truly not a life worth living. Because this life was meant to be shared.

Oh, and my sweet, precious daughter wants me to share it with her.

I have loved interacting with her but especially in these moments where she has asked me to enter her world. To see her face light up just because I'm spending time with her is priceless. I want to wrap up the moment and box it forever.

Yet, even more than that, I have enjoyed seeing those desires only masked by adulthood shown effortlessly through my child. Honestly, the desire I've seen most is she asks to be delighted in. She wants to know that her daddy and I love her. Purely (well, as purely as humanly possible in God's strength) love her. Not because of what she does or doesn't do or will be, but simply because she is.

It's written all over her face. It's written all over the little chuckles with sweet eye squints that beckon us to laugh with her. It's in the sparkle of her eye when she makes eye contact and holds out a toy hoping we will enjoy it with her. It's in the cries of "momma" when something has seemed to go wrong. It's in the way she wraps her tiny arms around my neck soaking up a hug as much as she possibly can.

Delight in me. Tell me that you love me. Just because I am me.

Sweet girl,

Words will never do justice. My actions will always fall short. But amidst all the imperfection, I hope you will hear the message that "you are delighted in because you are you" over and over and over. I hope that I will teach you that when I fall short, God never does.

And He delights in you. More than I ever will be able to.

"He will exult over you with joy,

He will be quiet in His love,

He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy."

Zephaniah 3:17b

But know that even still, Mommy delights in you. Just because you are you. No other reason. Nothing that you do can change that love.

You are loved, Zoë!

Mommy