Frankly Friday - Bullet Style

You guys, it's late, but I feel like writing. Well, bulleting. Or maybe it will become a post. I'm not sure. However, either way it goes, I know this is going to be a "frank" post so I'm linking up with Amy from Taking Steps Home.

• I have been extremely tired as of late. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not keeping a regular bed time or what, but I feel like I could sleep. A lot.
• I've contemplated blocking all my social media accounts and not keeping up with many of the blogs I follow because babies seem to be popping out left and right like we're rabbits. (Sorry if that offends anyone. They're just EVERYWHERE!) Sometimes, I'm not sure if my heart needs to continually feel the pain in order to heal or if it's just making it worse. Because not only are people getting pregnant or having babies left and right and being announced via social media and blogs, my sister just had a baby (Yes, I love my nephew! Doesn't make me want to steal him though...just kidding...sort of...) and there are babies and pregnant people all over Walmart. And Aldi. And the mall. And EVERYWHERE. Did I say they were everywhere? My heart seems to crumble every time.

The hard part of it is that I genuinely want to be happy for these people. New life is such a huge     blessing, but that is also part of what makes it so stinkin' difficult to watch - my heart craves to know that I'm nurturing a little life inside of me right now. And sometimes I'm just not sure if I can take it anymore.

Then I realize that if I were to remove myself from it for a time, I'd just have to reenter it again in the future, so why not work through it now. It isn't the easiest of realities and it floods me with many emotions. Yet, I am grateful for a God who heals and who has given me scripture to cling to - His very words through those divinely inspired.

I may still battle with this decision. I may feel led to be absent for a while, but at this time, I'm not going anywhere.

• I'm loving interacting with Zoë these days. She is growing so much and really beginning to understand the spoken word. She shakes her head "no" to so many questions. She also loves loves loves to talk as though she were really communicating. Unfortunately, it's all just a bunch of baby garble. It's going to be a lot of fun when she truly realizes she can't actually communicate whatever it is she's saying. I'm sure some tantrums are going to come out. She is very particular and wants to get stuff right. (Boy, oh boy, is she my child...Yikes!
• I know people say not to push your child when it comes to walking (before I get farther, let me say I'M NOT!), but I am loving watching her learn. She loves walking. As such, she frequently will come up to me, point to my hands, grab hold of them (fits are pitched if she can't get just. the. right. hold.), and proudly start walking with her arms above her head to hold on to me. Also, though I want her to be independent of me, I am loving just how much she wants me to be with her while she learns. She refuses to practice on her own, couches or other objects are no longer good enough. And if she has a choice of me or her daddy, she chooses me every time. Not that I don't want her to get that time with her daddy, I do. (Almost every day I suggest he take her outside to practice if he'd like. Then I'm not in the way and he can spend time with her.) And not that I don't need a break, because I know many times the words come flying out of my mouth, "Why do you want me?! I've been with you all day." But even with that need, I find myself enjoying knowing she wants me, that as horrible a mom I feel at times, I'm obviously doing my best to care for her and she knows it.

I think that about wraps up what's going on in my mind right now. I hope everyone enjoyed their Friday. If you are traveling, I'm praying for your safety!

Enjoy your Memorial Day weekend, everyone!