Tidbits from My World: Praying for Him: A Daily Choice

I'm beginning to see a pattern with my first response to a chapter title in Power of Praying Wife. The horrible, great aspect of it is it always reveal a part of my heart in need of God's tender hand changing me. (Yes, I used an oxymoron there. I hate and love recognizing my need for change. Oh, my humanness! [<- if "humanness" isn't a word, I just made it one. I like it. I'm leaving it.]) This week was no different when my eyes first saw these words: "Chapter Twenty: His Attitude".

I immediately thought, "I'm not so sure I will be praying about his attitude as much as I will be praying about mine. Ben is an optimist. It's part of his nature, his wiring. He doesn't need me to pray for his attitude because he doesn't struggle with that." (You guys, I'm laughing at myself just typing those words.)

Part of my reasoning in propping Ben up on this pedastal is his optimism pervades everything around him so much, I've come to think that because I'm a realist, there must be something wrong with me, while Ben has it all figured out over there. (I say I'm a realist because I don't walk around in with a Debbie Downer mood, most of the time. [Umm...who doesn't get in a Debbie Downer mood sometimes? You? Well, I'm going to call you out and say you're lying. Or you're in a grave state of denial.] Yet, I don't look at a glass and see it as just half full either. To me, it's always half empty and full, unless, of course, the glass is mostly full or almost empty. And I think I just proved the point I tend to look at life from a "this is the way it is" mentality. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the steal-my-breath amazing.) Anyway, because many people tend to say there are only optimists and pessimists (can we delete that cramped, self-confining, smelly box, please?), including my husband, I started beating myself up about my view-point and placing him on this "I want to be like him" pedastal.

FAIL!

You guys, everyone struggles with a bad attitude. Some people more than others, but I'm willing to bet it's because those who don't struggle with needing attitude adjustments as much have some other "big" struggle they have to grab by the horns and tackle to the ground. A struggle the constantly-working-on-attituders may not even have. Not to mention, though this is completely unscientific, not verified data, with a very small pool for the data, in my teeny span of a life, I have never seen someone's bad attitude completely mirror the bad attitude anyone else. Similar, sure. But identical? Never. They may grow sour, angry, pessimistic, mopy, etc. because of the same incidence, but just as all those descriptors have different faces, so will their horribly, no good, bad attitudes.

Not to mention, desiring to be like my husband is not what God calls me to. Nor is my husband perfect, because like everyone else in this fallen world, my husband was born into it with a sin nature. (And let me assure you, though we strive to live a godly life, we sin plenty over here! Shoot, I've already revealed in this post my sin of setting my husband on the throne God, alone, should be reigning from in my life.) Thus I'm setting myself up for horrible failure, especially in the attitude department, with my focus so far from where it should be.

This leads me to think about the one quote from this tiny chapter which has really stuck with me:

"We choose our attitude." (p. 150)

Allow those words to sink in for a minute.

Maybe read the following verses to go along with it (I'll make it easy for you by typing it up here in this post :]):

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13 NASB

I'm not sure what is going through your head at this moment, but I know I sometimes look at those verses and find myself excusing my poor attitude because I'm not particularly struggling with Paul's description of the situations he has learned to be content in. Yet, verse thirteen leaves no room for guessing: Paul is saying no matter the situation, no matter the circumstance which has taken your joy, we are able to do all, not some, all things through Christ.

And since I'm running out of morning time without my daughter being awake, I will leave you with this: pray for your attitude. If you're married, pray for your spouse's attitude. Pray the choice to look to Christ in every single situation you face today will be your first. When we set our eyes on Him, He shows us how He desires us to handle the situation. It likely won't be through a booming voice telling you what to do, though I sometimes wish it was, but by choosing to focus on Him for everything, your relationship with Him will grow, you'll know how to better pray for your spouse while you are away from them due to work or anything else, and you will find at least your heart is struggling less to remain hardened about whatever was bringing down your mood. If there is one thing I've been learning it's I have no control over anyone's attitude but my own, so while I pray God is the focus of my husband's life, I release any control over how he responds or reacts to situations and focus on taking care of what I have been given charge to take care of: my attitude.

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Here are the rest of my posts from this 30 week series I've done on praying for my husband: