7.10.2013

Welllll....Another Confession

*update* I'm starting to put the links at the bottom of each post so that you can get straight to the post, but still have access to any of the other posts if you're new or just want to go back to an older, related post.

*sigh*

I can't seem to keep up. Life has taken it's toll on me these past two weeks and I think my loss in momentum from last week has just steam rolled right through this week.

So much so that when I cracked the book thinking I'd rejog my memory a little on what I had learned, I realized that I hadn't cracked the book at all. I can't even remember that I didn't crack it.

I'm asking God to give me the strength to not pick up the easy reads or the iPad if I haven't cracked the pages of PoPW or if I haven't spent time praying for my husband.

The good news is that in this time, my time spent with God hasn't completely slipped away and I'm still working through reading through the entire Bible. However, I still feel like I'm meeting the bare minimum to even feel like He's still here. To feel like my relationship with Him isn't being taken for granted.

He is still speaking to my heart.

He spoke to it today through the message we taught at VBS.

Our church is doing Kingdom Rock, where every day the main point learned has to do with something that helps us "...stand strong!" (I think I'm going to start saying it in my sleep we say it so much. Ha!)

Today's main point was all about how "Prayer helps us stand strong!" I found it slightly amusing that the point today would be that as I knew I was supposed to be typing up a post on praying for my husband. Throughout the day, we kept talking about how it helps to pray about everything.

The good.

The bad.

The ugly.

The hurtful.

The happy.

You name it, God wants you to talk with Him about it.

And I was convicted. Convicted because, though at the time I was pretty sure I hadn't been forgetting to pray for my husband, I don't pray about everything. I was more so when one of the activity station leaders talked about praying when you're cut off by a car. Let's just say I don't pray but I'm doing better in that I don't cuss at them, and generally don't yell. (Yay! No more risen blood pressure from other horrible drives. And Houston is full of them, you guys.) :)

Anyway, the thought of praying, asking God to give me patience in those situations, to let go of what doesn't matter, to pray when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with my daughter, to thank Him when I'm blessed by the sweet heart He has instilled in Zoë, it left me wishing that I did that more. Left me wanting for such a strong relationship with Him that everything around me brought me to my knees.

I know I will never be perfect. I know that on my own I will fail. And even when my heart desires most to seek Him, I will still be imperfect because I am tainted by the sinful human nature that will only be completely gone with no traces when I'm given my glorified body. (Oh, how I eagerly wait for that day!!) But He has given me His Spirit to help me and sees me as clean because of the blood of Jesus.

So I hope and pray that as I continue to learn, I will seek Him and find myself on my knees constantly, because the more I am on my knees, the more I am communing with Him.

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Over a 30 week period, which I started with an intro on May 1st, I will be doing a weekly series where I talk about my journey through Stormie Omartian's Power of  a Praying Wife. I felt led to pray for my husband, wanted to incorporate the book, but knew that doing a 30 day challenge was next to impossible. (Let's face it: life with a baby just-turned-Toddler changes and there are still nights with many wake up calls due to teething or illness. I'd already tried once and failed.)  So this series was born as a way to share, encourage, and hold me accountable to the commitment I made. I'll keep a list of links just below this on each post so you can easily access them all. Enjoy!

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