Pondering Birth

*NOTE: This post was supposed to be scheduled to publish on 2/4/14. Somehow, I messed up and must have only saved it, not published with a scheduled time. So, this was finished before Aubrey's birth, but not published until after :)*

What do you do when you're almost full term (and I mean the full 40 weeks) and you're restless?

I would guess there are a vast array of answers to that question as different as every woman who has ever been there. It also depends on whether or not you have loads of time to ponder in the middle of the night because you get up so much and it takes time to get comfortable and fall back asleep every time. (I like to hope this is preparing me for life with a newborn, but let's face it: life with a newborn is way more draining than having to wake up to use the bathroom 7 times in the middle of the night. You can almost stay asleep. Almost.)

Being I am one of the latter, I have had way too much time to ponder way too many thoughts. Some of them are great learning tools in trusting God's sovereignty over every. single. situation. Some of them have been great tools in building my confidence in choices Ben and I have made throughout this pregnancy different from the pregnancy with Zoë. Thankfully, either way, I have been learning from everything which happens to cross my mind at 2 in the morning, and other times throughout the day, and not found myself stressed out from thoughts which could completely overwhelm me.

One place my mind keeps going is our decision to have an unmedicated birth. If you have been following me for a while, you are probably familiar with Zoë's birth story. If not, then you know I had gone in hoping for an unmedicated birth, but looking back there was a lot I didn't do to prepare, I assumed my OB was on my side as far as letting my body do what it was designed to, and found myself thinking if I had it to do all over again, I would do it differently next time.

Don't get me wrong, Zoë's birth story is beautiful in that God graciously bestowed on me a healthy, vibrant baby girl. Yet, likely for many reasons though I've yet to fully explore every thought I've had about her birth, I was left wanting after her birth story. I have also had some issues from decisions made during her birth which possibly could have been completely avoided. I say possibly because even when you have an unmedicated birth there are chances some of my "problems" could occur. However, the percentage of said issues is much lower and I would rather know I did everything in my power to prevent them rather than wonder if I would have them had I let my body be.

I am also not one to tell everyone I think they're (fill in the blank) for choosing to have an epidural or whatever choices they decide to make with their birth experience(s). Yes, I have an opinion about unmedicated birth and why I personally believe it is best for both mother and baby, but I do not judge those who decide to make a different decision for themselves and their baby.

However, I do find myself wondering if I will really stick through an entire labor choosing to allow my body to do everything on it's own with no medicine for pain. I wonder if I will throw in the towel somewhere close to the end. There is still fear I may end up with a doctor or nurse who pushes pain medicines or runs to interventions. (Dear Lord, please let my OB be the one over my entire labor and birth!)

I have been asked so many times if I had had an unmedicated birth before. I have been thrown looks of "You're crazy!" or heard statements which were meant to be encouraging yet all I heard was "Yeah..you're likely going to want the epidural again."

It has been a rare instance to run into someone who has chosen unmedicated birth. (I have met several people who weren't planning on it but their labor was so short they didn't have a choice.) It has been an even more rare occurrence to meet someone who hasn't chosen the unmedicated route but who doesn't throw a stone at my decision. (And last I checked, you may think I'm crazy or simply differ in opinion, but when it comes to me, the only opinion that matters here is mine. <- Can you hear a bit of my frustration? haha.)

All of this just to say I often wonder what the final outcome of this will be. And honestly, I wonder how much I will care what really happens in the end because the closer little Aubrey's due date comes the more I just want to hold my rainbow baby in my arms. To hear "IT'S A GIRL!" and simultaneously find out she is healthy. To be able to say God has fully lavished blessing upon blessing in bestowing another life, this one living and breathing this side of Heaven, into my arms.

38 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

*NOTE: Some of what I say in this post may sound like I'm complaining. While the pregnancy is getting to be quite uncomfortable as, by this point, all my internal, abdominal organs have been pushed out of their proper place, I'm really trying to state the facts so I can remember what it was like at this point in the pregnancy. Every movement I feel, every discomfort (which may make me cringe or I may wish away in that particular moment), is seen as a blessing I am still carrying my rainbow baby. I see it as a gift because I know God does not owe me the joy of child, let alone another one. Please understand while I wish no one had to feel these discomforts in their pregnancy, I simultaneously sit and pray asking God to bless those who desire children. I am simply listing facts so I have them to go back and look at later. My overall attitude, which I hope is what people pick up on, is one of gratefulness for the blessing I carry.*

How Far Along: I am 38 weeks and 5 days. 9 days until I'm 40 weeks! (SAY WHAAAT?!?!)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Last official weight check says I'm back to having gained only 32. Seems I tend to fluctuate now. I'm perfectly fine with that.

Gimme' some of that!: Enchiladas. Tamales (still haven't satisified that one yet). And ice cream :)

How I Feel: Nauseous. Very swollen - at least in my feet and legs. I feel like part of me is turning into sausages. (Just check out my twitter feed this past week. I took a pic of one of my feet and you can see exactly what I'm talking about.) Exhausted. Ready.

Movement: I'm so nervous this is going to decrease or stop completely. There are many factors playing into fear of losing her and right now my biggest battle is hanging on tight to the promise I serve a good and faithful God, one who allows everything to happen for the purpose of His glory. Though, that being said, my hope is it will glorify Him most for me to bring home a healthy, needy (did I just type that last word?) baby to make our family grow from 3 to 4.

Sleep: Getting maybe an hour and half stretch at a time. I wake to go to the bathroom that often. Or needing to change position because my body aches from the weight staying all on one side.

What I Miss: The ease of rolling over in my bed and the ability to only need to go to the bathroom my normal amount.

What I'm Looking Forward To: My rainbow baby being placed on my chest.

37 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

How Far Along: I am 37 weeks and 5 days. 16 days until I'm 40 weeks! (Whaaaat?!?! There are times I thought this day would never come. And while there is still fear I may lose my rainbow baby, I can feel my heart growing as it prepares to welcome our little bundle to actually live with us this side of heaven!)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 34 pounds. My weight gain is up and down. And my home scale doesn't always register the same as my OBs does. I can't complain. It at least means my baby is growing for which I am very blessed! And I'm pretty sure I gained somewhere around this amount with Zoë. 

What's Up with Food: I only crave unhealthy food. Not such a fan of that. However, because we generally don't keep much of it around, I generally don't have it to nab. Just kind of stinks when what I want is something I shouldn't have. 

How I Feel: Like if I can mentally keep this baby in until February 1st, then I could care less with when she comes. Why February 1st? It puts us a few days past 38 weeks which makes me feel way more comfortable about her arrival than if she came now, though I highly doubt now would pose too many issues anyway. Either way, it gives me peace of mind.

Maternity Clothes: There are very few tops I can wear. I'm thinking it'd be nice if I could just hole myself up on a couch, though that does nothing for Zoë's mood and nothing to keep me healthy for labor and birth.

Movement: She has pretty consistent times of movement these days. And with as little room as she has left to grow, it generally doesn't feel so great. Pretty sure she loves to sit indian style, too, as I frequently have to bony protrusions showing on opposite sides of the upper part of my middle. Always makes us laugh.

Sleep: What is that?!

What I Miss: Being able to roll over in my bed, yet at the same time I wouldn't trade it for the world. It just means we're that much closer to having a bundle of joy welcomed into our home.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Holding my sweet rainbow baby!!!!!!

Favorite Moment of the Week: As it would happen, it was actually last night. Aubrey was doing one of her alien-like indian style shows. I asked Zoë if she wanted to feel where her baby sister was. She got excited and ran over to me. As I took her little hand and rubbed whichever part of Aubrey was showing itself, she laughed and then patted her. Can't wait for Zoë to be a big sister!! She's definitely going to be great at it. (I'm sure there will be much teaching in the ways of getting in trouble too.)

36 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

How Far Along: I am 36 weeks and 5 days. 23 days until I'm 40 weeks!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 29 pounds. Heck yes! I actually lost weight between my 34 and 36 week check. I was overjoyed. I'm still pretty stoked! Now to hope I've only gained a pound or two when I go in for my appointment this week. Ha!

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Nothing has changed here. I might as well write off Bananas until the end of this pregnancy and then I may not be able to eat them after anyway. Not sure if I've said this before or not, but I'm no fan of bananas period. The only reason I eat them during pregnancy (well...I did when I was pregnant with Zoë) and while I'm breastfeeding is because it's been said it will help with a child having taste for what you eat and I would love to not argue over fruits and veggies. Especially bananas considering they are one of the cheapest, easy to obtain fruits out there.

Gimme' some of that!: Potato chips. Why can't I crave anything actually good for me this pregnancy? I mean, seriously!

How I Feel: Exhausted. Like she has no more room to grow. As though people stare at me and wonder if I'm going to drop a baby right there in the middle of the grocery store. I'm kind of wanting to go into hiding. No, I'm not joking.

Maternity Clothes: This is another reason I want to go into hiding. Most of my tops are too short. They don't cover and look quite strange on even with a cami. Plus, yoga pants and comfy pants feel so much better than regular clothes. Not that my maternity pants don't fit, thank the Lord! I think I really would hide if I my maternity pants weren't fitting right, too!

Movement: Let's just say we see body parts moving across my middle. It's definitely there.

Sleep: Not so great. It probably doesn't help that it takes forever just for me to get myself out of bed. I'm really trying to avoid sleeping on the couch, but I'm not sure I will be able to. I've already stolen Zoë's step stool so I can get in and out of our bed. (Our bed is up a little more than most so we can use underneath as storage.)

What I Miss: Easily getting comfortable. Not worrying about my swollen limbs. Being able to carry Zoë without worrying about if it will be enough time for her. Easily sitting on the floor with her and not being distracted by the discomfort of every position I try to sit in. 

What I'm Looking Forward To: Having Aubrey in my arms. Being a family of four. Watching Zoë step into her role as a big sister. Being able to enjoy time with Zoë, when I do have it, without the discomforts of full term pregnancy. 

Favorite Moment of the Week: To many of you this may sound crazy, but honestly the highlight of this past week was finding out my doctor doesn't start checking for progress until 38 weeks. The more I ask questions and have office visits with my doctor, the more I am convinced God laid His entire hand on how everything panned out with my care for this pregnancy. I am beyond grateful to have an OB who is willing to let my body do it's thing and treat pregnancy and birth for what they are when there aren't risks involved: perfectly normal.

35 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

And because I was curious, and thought you might enjoy seeing for yourself, I made a collage of bumpdate pics from 15, 25, and 35 (so today's pic) pics. Funny enough, I wore the same shirt for my 15 week pic as I was for today's post, thus we get a pretty good look at how much this little Miss has grown!

Umm...well the secret is out now: if there be any confusion as to why the pics would be labeld as day 4 for the week versus day 5, I would take my pic the day before but write the post on Monday. And a complete aside: I love how pic monkey will let me turn my pic over so they're all facing the same way. Easier to see the change!

How Far Along: I am 35 weeks and 5 days. 30 days until I'm 40 weeks!
Woah, Bessie! Time is flying by like crazy. There are days, like today, where I feel like it's flying and it's slow all in one fell swoop. As much as I am trying to enjoy the moments I am given daily, it's getting to a point where I'm pretty much uncomfortable all of the time. Either way, this train is nearing it's final destination and it's not slowing down!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Mmmm...this is a bit of a sore point as at my last appointment I had gained way too much weight in two weeks time. That said, my last official weight gain check was I had gained a total of 34 pounds. Not horrible, by any means, but when almost 10 of that was too fast it slightly makes me cringe. Guess we'll see this week where I'm at as I'm getting ready to start weekly appointments. Eeeek!

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Still my only aversion has been Bananas.

Gimme' some of that!: I did have a craving this week...but I can't remember what it was now. And I'm not even sure I was able to satisfy the craving. Ha!

How I Feel: Exhausted. all. the. time. And I'm on the back end of a head cold/sinus infection and ear infection. Not fun at all. I still can't really hear out of my left ear, but thankfully everything seems to have healed. And it didn't rupture which is great.

Maternity Clothes: I mean, isn't this a given? I can't even fit some of the shirts I did at the beginning of this pregnancy. Fun times...makes my whole feeling like a whale just that much more prominent, even though I don't look it and I see pictures and know I'm not near as big as I feel.

Movement: I am able to feel her move just about any time she changes her position. Even the smallest movements can't really be missed.

Sleep: This is getting less and less. Preparing me for when she's here I guess, though I'm not waking up because she's having a good ol' time in the MOTN. I'm waking because the bathroom seems to call my name no matter how much I try to limit water intake after 7.

What I Miss: The ability to turn over in my sleep without waking up. If I have to change positions for comfort, I will fully wake up, take several minutes to get myself rolled over and adjusted, and then have to fall back asleep. Not very conducive to a good nights rest.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Aubrey Kate's arrival! It's so close I can barely contain all the 100s of emotions I'm feeling.

Favorite Moment of the Week: This week was soaked in tons of great blessings to the point I can't really pick one. For that I am very grateful. However, I guess if I had to pick just one it's one I will have to fill you in on more later: Ben and I went to a 3 day Intenstive Marriage Clinic. Best thing we have done for our marriage in it's three years. So, so grateful for the opportunity to go!

33/34 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

 33 Weeks (Notice the little hand reaching up? Yeah, the story of my life these past few weeks is "Mommy! Hold you!" which in Zoë language translates to "Mommy, I want you to hold me while you're standing up. No sitting down." Needless to say "no" has to be the answer sometimes.)

34 weeks

How Far Along: I am 34 weeks and 5 days. 37 days until I'm 40 weeks! (Holy smokes I'm at the end of this pregnancy!)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: This makes me sad...mostly because I gained 9 pounds in two weeks. Boo hiss! I had an appointment this past week and I had gained a total of 34 pounds. I know for some this doesn't seem like much, but that is what I gained total with Zoë. Hoping to not make that my track record.

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Bananas.

Gimme' some of that!: So I'm not sure if it was this past week or during my 33rd week but I had a strong craving but didn't know what it was for. I had to run to the grocery store for something else, saw sushi, and knew that's what I was craving. So I bought a crunchy california roll and man did it hit the spot!

How I Feel: Exhausted. It doesn't help that this past weekend I've come down with an awful cold/sinus infection with all the drainage running into my ears. Needless to say all I want to do is lie around the house.

Maternity Clothes: Yes with many of the tops not being long enough anymore. Not enjoying that problem one bit.

Movement: Pretty much the same. She's not crazy active but she has her moments where I'll get several kicks, jabs, and looks-like-an-alien-invading-my-middle moments.

Sleep: I'm up using the bathroom way too many times to count. On top of that, the insomnia is back. Thus between the two I'm not getting very good sleep.

What I Miss: Not having to prop my feet up to drain the fluid from them. (The swelling is awful right now and nothing helps except for elevating my feet.) Also, I miss being able to lie comfortably in bed and hate it feeling like it takes forever to move myself to a different position when one becomes uncomfortable.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Counting down the days until I have a precious baby in my arms. Aubrey will never replace the one we lost, nor have I ever expected that ache to go away, but I know there is some healing in having a baby after a miscarriage.

Favorite Moment of the Week: This week Zoë has been running around the house singing. The other night, as Ben and I were singing with her before we left her room, she burst into full song singing "Jesus Loves Me". Melt. my. mommy. heart! We're definitely really starting to get full swing into the "terribles" (I'm going to call it that because I've been told it extends past the age of 2.) and sometimes I want to pull my hair out. But those moments where you can see just how sweet of a heart resides inside the screamer makes me not want to trade any of it for the world. Precious, precious memory!

32 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

How Far Along: I am 32 weeks and 5 days. 52 days until I'm 40 weeks.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: How about 23 pounds officially. I'm totally good with that number!

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Nothing has changed here. Still only bananas.

Gimme' some of that!: Still love me some potatoes! :)

How I Feel: This changes daily. BUT health-wise, there aren't any complaints. I have the normal back pain, the normal swelling in my feet/calves, but aside from that everything looks great.

Maternity Clothes: How about most of my tops don't want to completely cover my swelling abdomen? I'm starting to get really annoyed.

Movement: I am housing an alien. You know...it looks like I could be part of a sci-fi movie on a daily basis. Especially when she has hiccups and is moving simultaneously.

Sleep: Hit and miss, with no rhyme or reason.

What I Miss: Having to think about how to get up so as not to strain my middle and/or my back.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Aubrey joining our family!

Favorite Moment of the Week: This has nothing to do with the pregnancy. Zoë has started to sing songs to herself and with me. I have randomly caught her walking around the house singing "Jesus Loves Me". Ahhh! Sweet sound to my ears!

31 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

Nah...I'm not tired at all. I just look like I didn't sleep the night before this pic. That's all...

How Far Along: I am 31 weeks and 5 days. 58 days until I'm 40 weeks.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I'll find out "officially" tomorrow, but according to my scale I'm at a 24 pound weight gain. Not going to complain about that. I only have 8 weeks left. I'll be exactly at the same weight gain I had with Zoë if I only gain a pound a week here on out and I go the full 40 weeks.

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Still only bananas as far as aversions go. However, anything with a lot of red sauce makes my heart burn awful. Thus I generally try to stay away from any food I know will cause indigestion.

Gimme' some of that!: I couldn't get my mind off of ice cream last night. So much so I made Ben run to the closest place with anything close to ice cream to get me some at 9 pm last night :) Aside from that no cravings in the past week.

How I Feel: Exhausted, though it isn't just the pregnancy making me worn. 

Maternity Clothes: Does this one even need to be answered? I mean...I'm thinking by the above picture it's obvious. Maybe I just need to remove this questions. Ha!

Movement: Yep. Alien like. If she presses into my anterior abdomen hard enough you can tell if it's her bum or foot :)

Sleep: This is hit and miss. No rhyme or reason to it. 

What I Miss: Right now my biggest aggrevation is my sinuses. Nothing to do with pregnancy Mostly because of the weather going from 32 degrees to 70 degrees as the highs off and on, but also because my capillaries are bursting and causing wonderful blockages in my sinus passages. Woo!

What I'm Looking Forward To: Aubrey baby joining our family. The more we prepare and I write out my birth plan and we discuss details, the more I'm realizing this is happening and God has, as far as we know, blessed us with another little life to join our family. My arms won't ache to hold her until eternity, my hope is in just a few short weeks, they will hold her!

Favorite Moment of the Week: You guys, I'm doing well to make it through the week keeping everyone in my family alive. That's my favorite "moment": successfully keeping our home in tact. 

29/30 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

Today I give you two pictures. Kind of can't believe how fast this is going and I can't believe how many weeks I've missed. Though I will say I had no control over the past few weeks not getting posted. However, I will say you aren't getting a 28 week pic because we didn't take one. Bums me out a little, but that would have been the day after we moved and I was meeting up with my bestie whose flight happened to be landing in Houston after she's been in Germany for a while.

This is 29 weeks. The shape of my bump changes constantly as Aubrey decides to change where feet/butt/back are consistently. Also, photo is courtesy of my older sister, Lindsey :) I wish every pic looked this good. Ha!

And 30 weeks. I feel like I'm starting to stick straight out; as in, I might eventually look like I stuck a a huge, wooden plank up my shirt.

How Far Along: I am 30 weeks and 5 days. 65 days until I'm 40 weeks.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: At my 30 week appointment, my total weight gain was 21 pounds. My home scale is currently going back and forth between telling me I've gained another pound or two. So my guess is at my 32 week check up I'll have gained maybe a total of 24 pounds.

Gimme' some of that!: Cornbread. Homemade, not Jiffy, cornbread. (Is there really any other way to make it right?) And of course, ice cream :) The flavor changes, but ice cream frequently sounds good.

How I Feel: Exhausted. And like a beached whale, which isn't good considering I still have a little more or less than 10 weeks to go. Oh and a duck. I waddle. Like no one's business.

Movement: It's starting to look like I have an alien residing inside of me. Seriously.

Sleep: Hit and miss. I make use of the time I wake up at 2 in the morning and can't go back to sleep though, so at least the sleep deprivation wasn't wasted on staring at a ceiling.

What I Miss: Not having to constantly worry about whether or not my legs are going to swell. Not being so sensitive to sodium.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Adding Aubrey to our family.

27 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

How Far Along: I am 27 weeks and 5 days. 86 days until I'm 40 weeks.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: According to my home scale I didn't gain or lose any this past week, so I'm still hovering around the 16/17 pound gain. I'm so not complaining as this will mean I will likely gain closer to the lower end. Less for me to lose after! 

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Still Bananas. There was some other food someone mentioned which made my stomach churn at the thought of it. However, it obviously didn't leave to great an impact or I'm not around it much as I can't remember what on earth it was. I just know I almost threw-up the moment it was mentioned. Glad I'm not around it enough to remember. 

Gimme' some of that!: This week would be the first where I had several cravings, some of them more specific than others. I still have the general strong desire for sweets on a consistent basis. Thankfully, because it's so nonspecific, I can generally find a way around it without eating too much. My fear would be going through my entire cabinet in search for the right sweet every time only to find myself gaining way too much weight. So for my ability to curb it or ignore it, I am very grateful. However, I had three cravings this week, one of them still popping up quite frequently.

My first was for ice cream. And I had a general idea of what I wanted but wasn't sure until Ben ran to the store for me, called, and started listing ice cream. Moolinnium Crunch. Thank you, Blue Bell! It hit. the. spot! No joke.

Then I really started getting a hankering for potatoes. And to specificy, baked potato skins done to a good crisp with some potato left on them, melted cheese, a little salt, and some pepper. Oh my! I could go for some as I type this. It just sounds soo stinking good! And every time I eat it I find myself wishing I could just shovel an entire plate full down my throat. YUM!

And finally, I have really wanted a cookie. I wasn't sure exactly what kind, I just knew I wanted a soft, chewy cookie with some chocolate in it. And because we're moving, I don't have everything within arms reach to make said cookies. So off to the store Ben went. And he brought home some yummy, soft, chewy, Sam's Chocolate Chip Cookies to be exact. Perfecto!

How I Feel: Exhausted! Health wise I'm pretty good. I will say with the weather change and the lack of dusting done around here my allergies are going to kill me before my time has come. And I can actually say the dusting isn't my fault, though the fact it gets done at all every couple of months is a huge blessing. (I'm so allergic it does me in for days to dust. My hubby graciously takes on that house chore, for which I am forever grateful.) My sinuses have been stuffed for at least the past week and to top it off my eyes are about ready to pack up and leave with all the itching, watering, and swelling they've seen over the past week. Packing boxes with items not dusted for a while equals multiple types of torment for me. C'est la vie.

Maternity Clothes: Nothing has changed here. There are days I desperately want to wear just a plain t-shirt, but none of mine will go over the bump enough to cover it. Also, I can't usually borrow my hubby's shirts because he's so lean his shirts don't really completely cover my bump either. Darn marrying a man who almost weighs less than my prepregnancy weight! (I tell him not to talk about his weight. It's just not fair...)

Movement: She's a pretty consistent mover, by which I mean I can almost book it to the minute when she'll move. I'm even thinking I know when she'll wake in the MOTN, which is very different from Zoë. However, I'm wondering if it's more because I am a lighter sleeper than I was before we had Zoë. Even when she's moving in the wee hours I've never thought it was all crazy. Just normal baby-in-utero movements. 

Sleep: I'm feeling like I"m never getting enough of it. Seriously. And I know it's not helping I haven't been able to lie down to rest while Zoë is napping. My body is really tired, though I know it's because sweet Aubrey is growing. I mean, shoot, look at the pictures! Ha!

What I Miss: Being more interactive with Zoë. She's constantly wanting me to chase her, but I get winded so easy I don't last very long. Thankfully she enjoys just sitting and reading or me being close to her and not doing anything else, though it isn't always what she wants. 

What I'm Looking Forward To: You may be tired of the broken record, but as I'm slowly getting past the due date of the baby I miscarried this past March, all I can think is "Thank you, Jesus, for allowing sweet Aubrey to still be growing, healthy, as far as we know, and in utero where she should be right now." As many times as I find myself wanting to complain about the discomforts I feel, I'm always quickly reminded I'd much rather feel them than be aching from another loss. 

Favorite Moment of the Week: This past week what stands out is I had two seperate friends who have helped me in different ways with the move. One came to watch Zoë while I packed boxes, though I will say it was hard to focus on packing when I had a friend in the other room and our little girls were interacting with one another. So, so sweet! And then another friend came and packed up her van with boxes and helped me bring a load over to the new place. So grateful for friends who offer to help me with this big task!

26 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

This week I have no picture to post. I figure I'm doing

well considering I refused to take weekly pics for

Zoë. And I was on a retreat all weekend, which is my

reason for not having said picture :)

How Far Along: I am 26 weeks and 5 days. 93 days until I'm 40 weeks.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: According to my home scale, I've gained a total of 16/17 pounds. It fluctuates, sometimes daily, so I guess we'll see what the "official" gain is when I see my OB in a couple weeks.

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Bananas. I'm starting to think the aversion will not leave me for the entirety of this pregnancy.

Gimme' some of that!: Not sure why, but I really wanted a grilled cheese sandwich last night. That would be craving #2.

How I Feel: Well, right now I'm exhausted. I went on a women's retreat this weekend, which was great but drained me of every last ounce of energy I had. I will say I think my body has finally caught up with the lack of iron it needed as I'm not really feeling sluggish anymore. Now I just need to get my body back on track with the "normal" pregnancy fatigue.

Maternity Clothes: This hasn't changed...well, actually I'm thinking I'm going to have to buy at least one more pair of pants for myself because two of the pairs I have to wear don't have as much stretch as some maternity jeans and my thighs are not loving them. Oh well!

Movement: Yep! And it's starting to get alien-like, where I see a bump move across my belly. Ben can easily feel where Aubrey is pushing, which means it's getting a little uncomfortable for me when she decides to really press into me. :)

Sleep: Umm...hit and miss. And the retreat didn't really help with this either.

What I Miss: My hips not popping every time I move.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Making it another week. And I'm also starting to look forward to being with my family for Thanksgiving. PLUS, we're going to Arkansas this year. I miss the beauty of it. I frequently tell Ben if he's going to take me from Texas I'd be ok as long as the transfer is to NW AR. 

Favorite Moment of the Week: Maybe because I'm exhausted, or maybe because I'm purely soaking in the blessing of another week of pregnancy behind me, but I honestly don't have a specific moment standing out from the rest this past week. I'm ok with that :)

25 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like I'm ginormous in this pic, as compared to last week. I felt like I'd grown a lot just before it.Who knows...

How Far Along: I am 25 weeks and 5 days. 100 days until I'm 40 weeks. (Ummm..DO WHAT!? 100 days sounds so much smaller than "less than 15 weeks" or "3 months" [4 if you're counting lunar months, which is why care providers say 10 months]. I just remember how quickly it counts down from here...woah!)

Total Weight Gain/Loss: I bought a scale, but it's not here yet, so 14 at my last appointment, though I'm guessing she's grown, my body has "grown", and thus I've gained.

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Still only bananas.

Gimme' some of that!: No true cravings.

How I Feel: Sluggish, but I'm hoping that will change once my body starts responding to the iron I have to take. I found out I'm anemic, which didn't really surprise me as I was with Zoë too. I'm also thankful I PASSED my glucose test with flying colors! My nurse said my blood sugar was "Great!". Yah hoo!

Maternity Clothes: Yep. Or really comfy yoga pants or "nice" sweat pants :) Of course maternity tops. Or my husband's tees.

Movement: Mmmmm. My only savored part of pregnancy. It's nice too she isn't a crazy mover. Just kicks and some elbow jabs every now and then. No ninja style or insanely strong punches or kicks. I do feel her turn over frequently...really weird considering all the amniotic fluid moving with her.

Sleep: You think I'd sleep well with my anemia draining me, but I'm not. Also, my back is really starting to give me problems making it hard to sleep. I may start couch sleeping soon.

What I Miss: Easily getting comfortable in bed. Not having to think about how to maneuver myself out of bed or put my pants on or squat to pick up anything from the floor (bending over is bad with all the extra weight on my front...not to mention the balance issues this causes).

What I'm Looking Forward To: Another week closer to full term!!

Favorite Moment of the Week: This has absolutely nothing to do with the pregnancy, but it made my whole freakin' week:

So God blessed our search in finding an apartment and it is one we are able to take our time moving into because the lease begins before our current lease ends. A huge blessing after last years move to Texas! Well, Saturday we headed to the new place to work on the dreaded inventory of living area papers. At one point I was sitting inspecting our kitchen cabinets, when out of no where, Zoë comes running up to me, huge grin taking over her sweet face, saying "Awww!", with outstretched arms. The second she was close enough, she threw herself at me, wrapped her tiny, precious arms as tight around my neck as she could, and proceeded to give me a huge, long, head-sweetly-nestled-on-my-shoulder hug! My mommy heart wanted time to stop and simultaneously melted into a puddle right there on the floor! And it wasn't for any other reason than to give me a hug! Ahhhhh! This job of mothering a child is so unbelievably hard and yet so ridiculously rewarding even if moments like that are infrequent. And to know I will soon have another, though daunting at times, makes my heart swell, which is crazy considering I still feel it will burst from loving Zoë and can't imagine it not bursting by adding another child for it to swell over. Gah, I feel so blessed!!

24 Weeks [A Bumpdate]

My 24 week bump picture with a belly measuring 25 weeks :)

How Far Along: I am 24 weeks and 5 days. 107 days until I'm 40 weeks.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 14 pounds. *gulp* I know I have nothing to complain about in the weight department. I am now in the perfect middle of the min-max of weight gain for my starting weight and height. My doc was fine with the fact I gained 10 pounds in 3 weeks. (Note: my chart says I had only gained 4 pounds total at my appointment before last because I had lost 2 pounds when I was checked then. So 10 pounds in 3 weeks...not like 8 really makes me feel any better.) However, even knowing that I'm completely in a healthy range, it still is never great words to hear you gained 10 pounds in 3 weeks even if you're kind of supposed to. 

Food Aversions (and "no nos"): Still only Bananas.

Gimme' some of that!: Nope. Just my usual of really loving sweets. And I don't really call that a particular craving.

How I Feel: Much better now the food poisoning has passed. Still pretty much navigating perpetual tiredness. I see it as a great sign for a continued healthy pregnancy.

Maternity Clothes: Nothing but, except when it comes to pants with elastic waists. My comfy pants :)

Movement: Lots of movement. She literally hates when she's comfortable and her little area is messed with. Set the iPad on her? She kicks it. Doppler to hear her heart beat? Immediately kicks it. Aubrey likes her comfort!

Sleep: Hit and miss. Nothing new here, though I think this week was comprised of many insomnia ridden nights. Boo!

What I Miss: This week I happened to miss being able to lay on my stomach. There were several moments I wanted to but, obviously, it'd be quite uncomfortable. I had a moment where I forgot I'm pregnant and went to lay down on my stomach. Yeah, that was a bummer. Yesterday, Ben went to lay on his stomach and I mumbled about how I was jealous he could. His response: "You could lay on your stomach; it wouldn't hurt the baby." I laughed and retorted, "Sure, except it'd be like trying to balance my body on top of a small ball." Truth.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Another week of Aubrey still growing inside me, developing where she is safe and has what she needs to grow provided for her.

Favorite Moment of the Week: There was a night this past week, during Zoë's bedtime stories, Aubrey was pushing right into where Zoë was sitting next to me. It's a little difficult to tell a toddler they can't scoot right next to and press into a bump, so I let her as long as she isn't sitting on top of me. This frequently leads to her using my bump as an arm rest, but hey! better than her actually sitting on top of me. (Trust me. I know. She's started to on accident or fallen straight on top of it before.)

Anyway, Aubrey was pushing up against Zoë. With a break between books, I looked at Zoë and said, "Your sister is telling you hello."

She immediately put down the book, started to pat my tummy, and decided she'd have an easier time interacting with Aubrey if my shirt was pulled up. I asked her if she would say "hi" to Aubrey, to which she immediately chirped, "Hi!" and waved at her. Then she promptly patted my tummy and tried to feel where Aubrey was.

I've said it before, I'm sure I'll say it again: Zoë is going to make an amazing big sister! I'm completely convinced!