A Verse to Share

I don't have much to say on the verse I want to share. I'm sure I've read this verse before but it really struck a cord in my heart this time as I read it. It spoke straight to my heart because it so clearly states that which I want to do daily.

And actually, though I'm behind, by several verses (I posted 10 out of 12 verses that I've memorized alongside other Siestas [this link explains it in one of the right-side drop downs] who commited to memorizing scripture this year), I want to get back on track of memorizing scripture. I want my life to be permeated by the word from the Word and the Father. So I am commiting to again memorizing scripture.

Will I acheive the 24/24 I had originally intended? Only time will tell, but my main goal is to seek to deepen my relationship with Christ by consistenly hiding His word in my heart, mind, and soul.

Now without further delay...

"You shall follow the Lord your God and fear Him; and you shall keep His commandments, listen to His voice, serve Him, and cling to Him."

Deuteronomy 13:4 NASB

SSMT 2013: #10

This post is a bit overdue. By a bit, I mean that it should have been up and going last Wednesday. But I'm a bit strange about posting more than once a day. I only like to do it every so often. I'm not sure why. I just have a weird tick? obsession? idiosyncrasy? Well, whatever you call it, I'm just not into posting more than once a day with an occasional two posts on a given day.

Anyway, I can say it is by God's grace and strength that I'm still plugging along with memorizing scripture. Some days it's easier than others. But I am loving how He is bringing me the verse I need at just the right moment and then it ministers to me over the two weeks that I'm honing in on it.

I'm even finding the old ones popping into my head so long as I revisit them on a weekly/biweekly basis.

And so without further adieu, I give you my SSMT 2013 verse #10:

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart

Be acceptable in your sight,

O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 19:24 NASB

SSMT 2013

Verse 1 & Link to Join In!

Verse 2

Verse 3

Verse 4

Verses 5 & 6

Verse 7

Verse 8

Verse 9

SSMT 2013 #9

I cannot believe it's getting closer and closer to half way. Which also will mean this year is half way over.

I am loving being committed to memorizing scripture. I am loving having His word to lean on through all the difficulties I've been recently facing, but more so because of the miscarriage. (You can read my thoughts and feelings on this here, here, here, here, here.)

I am also enjoying knowing that even when I'm having a good day, the scriptures are popping up here and there. Sometimes seemingly for no reason and other times because it applies to whatever situation is playing out that day.

*good sigh*

I am just loving it. Period.

And so on to verse #9. I know I've said in the past couple weeks that I might keep going with Psalm 62:5-8; but, I have really pressed those words into my heart and mind and feel like adding a short verse to go with that is what is best for me in this time.

And so without further ado:

"Blessed are those who mourn, 

for they shall be comforted."

Matthew 5:4

Mmm...these words actually comfort me. Not to mention, they remind me that it is is ok to be sad during this time. That it is ok to cry in front of my daughter and, yet, still be able to enjoy her at the time. Just a good reminder period because I know that this is not the last time that I will have need of mourning, whether for myself or for someone else.

So thankful for scripture!

SSMT 2013

Verse 1 & Link to Join In!

Verse 2

Verse 3

Verse 4

Verses 5 & 6

Verse 7

Verse 8

Verse #8

"My soul, wait in silence for God only,

For my hope is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation,

My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.

On God my salvation and my glory rest;

The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, O people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us."

Psalm 62:5-8 NASB

Not going to lie, I've had a hard time really honing in on these verses the last two weeks. The only parts that are really sticking, and yet I find I need the reminder of most, are the red parts. It also hasn't been at the forefront of my mind while I was visiting my sister last week. So between the miscarriage and traveling, I've not done so great job of really working on memorization these past two weeks.

However, I have found that the previous scriptures I memorized have been such a great reminder for me. Words from my Rock that have given me strength to keep going when I thought I might not be able to go on. And I've loved that at times, it's almost as He is whispering them just to me. For me. In my time of need. Reminders of His love, that I am not walking in this time alone.

And though it's still to be completely commited to memory, I'm so thankful for these verses that were shown to me by a woman back at our church in Baton Rouge. I'm not sure I would have found them had she not given them to me when I was facing a different difficult situation. I didn't take the time to memorize them then, but I kept that slip of paper tucked in my bible. When the miscarriage happened and I was asking God which scripture(s) I should be memorizing next, I immediately thought of that slip of paper and knew I needed the reminder He can be trusted no matter what.

SSMT 2013

Verse 1 & Link to Join In!

Verse 2

Verse 3

Verse 4

Verses 5 & 6

Verse 7

And We're Already to #7

I can not believe just how quickly this year seems to be going by already. When I look at it from the standpoint of memorizing 24 verses, it's already 1/4 gone!

Crazy.

These are definitely my verses for the next two weeks. (So, they are #7 & 8.) Because it is four verses, I may either need to and/or decide to continue with these in the ninth and tenth week. I'm not sure. We shall see. I just know that for the next four weeks, this is definitely what I am supposed to be memorizing.

"My soul, wait in silence for God only,

For my hope is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation,

My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.

On God my salvation and my glory rest;

The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, O people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us."

Psalm 62:5-8 NASB

SSMT 2013

Verse 1 & Link to Join In!

Verse 2

Verse 3

Verse 4

Verses 5 & 6

When I Need a Reminder...

A reminder of who my God is, I can go into His word and find it. But sometimes, I need to hear it from someone else. And sometimes it's comforting if that someone else has been put in some place of leadership among those who believe. Someone with passion in their speaking and who speaks seeking to be led by the Spirit.

And right now, I am in great need. Both because of my heart breaking over the Chinese Muslims I have joined with many in prayer for right now and because my heart is in great need of mending.

I have many days I am finding myself sitting on the floor reminding myself of this:

"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden and I WILL GIVE YOU REST." Matthew 11:28 NASB

"Cease striving and know that I AM GOD..." Psalm 46:10 NASB

"'For I know the plans I have for you [and every other living being],' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'" Jeremiah 29:11 NASB

*all italics, capitalization, and brackets are mine.*

I keep hearing myself repeat, "He does not fail me. He has not changed. He is in control. And He loves me far more than I can ever completely and full grasp."

Yet, even with all of that, I keep going back to the words of Priscilla Shirer. It's from a video session for the bible study Anointed. Transformed. Redeemed. by Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer, and Kay Arthur. The leader of the study, when I did it, took the time to type out and print on a 5x7 cardstock these words. And I am happy to say that, though the quality of the actual video is grainy, the word and the passion behind Priscilla's voice are still there.

[*update* so I have been told that the video doesn't always load. Therefore, I give you the direct link just in case!]

I could sit and listen to this reminder all. day. long.

So I thought I would share it with you.

May you have a blessed Monday!

My Heart Feels Empty

I have this nagging, pestering desire.

Write. Just write.

And yet...

what?

This post may come out a little rough. I'm not even sure where I'm headed with all this.

I just have this compulsion within me to hash it out by feeling the keys of the computer move beneath my fingers. I certainly can't hash it out on my own piano. There isn't one. And so graciously, God has given me these keys to feel move beneath my fingers.

They kind of work. They don't make music. Well, not of the tonal kind, with up and down scales and the ability to resolve or build a well of emotion. But they certainly help me "see" my thoughts. Make sense of the muddled mess that is the wheels supposedly turning trying so hard to turn and work in my head.

Life has been rough in these parts.

This hermit is starting to feel the lonliness of moving to a completely, unknown city. One to be discovered yet one not really desired to be discovered. I prefer the comfort of knowing just a few miles. A corner.

Don't get me wrong. I like Houston. I like that there are so many parks and open fields here. I love that the zoo can always seem new just by watching the animals and seeing  the new babies that have been given life on its grounds. And I have met a handful of wonderful people who I would love to get to know better.

But I'm not in my niche.

And not being in my niche can give me a feeling of restlessness. Along with the feeling that my heart is not full. Which in turn finds me thinking I'm not grateful for all the wonderful blessings that I have.

Because though I am not wealthy by the mere numbers of our finances, I am so wealthy in many, countless other ways.

And yet the emptiness seems so overwhelming at this time. I'm sure it has to do with much going on behind that scenes to which I cannot disclose at this time. Will I ever be able to? I'm unsure. (Please understand I am not trying to hide behind a wall of fake pleasantries and "life is all roses".  However, because of the parties involved and decisions of authority over me I am unable to discuss them publicly at this time.)

The emptiness finds me wanting to give up. (I struggle with depression. I'm sure I always will.)

And yet, God is good.

Oh yes! HE. IS. GOOD!!!

He whispers to my seemingly empty heart, "I love you. Cease striving and know that I am God. Come to me. I know you are weary and heavy-laden. But take my yoke on you. I am gentle. I am humble in heart. My yoke is easy. My burden is light. You. are. not. alone! (Psalm 46:20, Matthew 11:28-30)."

Ahhhh.

Those words have become a healing salve I am continually applying to my hurting heart. Made me ever so grateful I began this year with a goal to memorize twenty-four scriptures with Beth Moore and all the other Siestas out there. I didn't know just what I would need those words for, but I knew that if I girded myself with them, they would come in handy. Even if life seemed to be all smooth sailing. (Ha! As if it is ever all smooth sailing. This broken world always has some kind of perceived hiccup waiting to greet you and me.)

Life has not been smooth sailing.

And those words, the ones that seemed slightly significant yet really just some great reminder of the God who cares for me have been whispered over. and over. and over again.

Sometimes in the midst of my begging God to just take me home. (Just being honest here. And if I'm really going to be honest, I find myself "seeing" the brokenness of our world and myself and everyone around me - redundant, but I don't care - on a daily basis which leaves me yearning for my true home and begging for it on a pretty consistent basis. Healthy? Maybe a little but truly something I have to keep in check because it can also steal the joy of knowing that He is weaving my story here as long as I have breath. Just sayin'.) Sometimes in the middle of gut wrenching tears over a plethora of situations. Sometimes in the midst of a hard mommy day where I feel ready to throw in the towel and sit and throw a tanrum with my daughter. (Adult like of me, I know.) Sometimes in the middle of a realization just how corrupt I can be and how much help I am in need of to even achieve possibly one good, compassionate, loving task in a day. (Oh the list could go on. Like I said, we're all broken.)

So my heart feels empty.

And yet, I am learning that empty can only mean one thing: if I let God do as He sees fit, He will fill it with that which can never tarnish or be taken from me. That which no detriment of this life or fleating pleasure can find a way to even somewhat cast shadow on.

And to that I say, may I not let the pain of this world hinder me from pursuing Him.

*This post was literally typed out and posted, aside from scanning to ensure proper grammar. And even that might have some errors. If it's rough, it's because it was for my own cathartic needs. I felt like sharing it with you, just as it came to me.*

SSMT #5 (and #6)

I kind of can't believe that we're already on verse 5, which I also know doesn't sound like that much, but to me, that's a big deal. I think the last time I had memorized this much scripture in so short a time was when I was part of an AWANA program as a middle schooler. (Hmm...I'm not so proud of that considering I think it's a very important part of a relationship with God.)

Anyway, the verses I chose for this go round will actually be for the entire month. Why? Because I really felt I should do all of them, but I also felt I wasn't supposed to cram all 3 (two are quite short and I count as one verse, though they sandwich the longer verse :]) in a two week time period.

And because we're only 4 days into this wonderfully, sneaky month (read: my baby girl turns ONE YEAR OLD next week. NO FREAKIN' WAY!), I haven't gleaned anything profoundly deep from them yet. But the longer I chew and meditate and converse about them, the more my mind and spirit are learning from them.

*sweet sigh*

And so I give you the verses I will be meditating for the month of March:

Matthew 11:28-30 NASB

"Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." - Jesus

SSMT 2013
Verse 1 & Link to Join In!
Verse 2
Verse 3
Verse 4

Spinning in My Head

So I somewhat feel like I've fallen off the blogosphere. I know it hasn't been that long since I last posted; I've had longer between posts before. And strangely enough, I miss it, but I don't.

I love using it as a way to help keep family and friends update on what's going on in our world. And yet, I don't quite feel like there is much worth telling. Or I don't feel like sharing because I'm not so sure anyone would really care (I mean, only the true mom of a child becomes obsessively happy when a new milestone is reached. Read: I'm loving getting Zoë to say the "ph" sound of "f" because she's been trying to say the word fan.) or I somewhat just want to treasure the milestones in my heart or only share them with Ben.

As I'm typing this, I'm realizing what a strange place I'm in these days. Life throws curve balls and God sets desires in the Ben's and my heart. He guides us to the church we're to call home here and ideas begin to roll.

And admist all that is going on around me and the spinning, in oh so good a way, my mind seems to be doing, there are two thoughts that God keeps bringing to the forefront:

1) The verse I am memorizing now is really opening my eyes to how little I actually trust God. I say I trust Him and that I desire to, but if I was completely honest with Him and myself, then really I would be constantly telling Him something along these lines: "Hey, God. I'm trusting you with this part of my life, but this part over here...well, I'm just gonna keep on keeping on with my little self. I'm pretty sure I got it. I mean, I know you want all of me. I'm just thinking if I try on my own I might get a little further or in the direction I want."

And the end result: fear. Almost always irratational. And half the time every time, my plans don't even turn out how I wanted them to. And when you think about it, none of us knows what's going to happen in the next few minutes anyway. Even scripture tells us that much in Proverbs 19:21 (NIV): "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

So anyway, let me remind you of the verse I've been chewing on for the past week and a half:

1 John 4:18 (NASB)

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."

I'm not quite sure how to put into words the many ways God is using this verse to speak to my heart, but I thought I would share it. (Side note: I love how scripture never gets old. It may has been known to make me extremely angry or sad at times and want to throw the Bible across the room, but the truth has that affect at times. And even despite the strong emotions reading it brings, it still never gets old.)

2) So last week was Missions Week at our church. I have to say I love that our church, which is a bible church (aka nondenominational), puts such an emphasis on spreading God's word. Here in Houston. In other parts of the US. Overseas in Europe. In Canada. In remote places that aren't typically heard of, at least for me.

They brought in a speaker to give the sermon Sunday morning, Dr. George Murray, Chancellor of CIU. He also spoke at the banquet they had that evening.

Let me just say, that man is gifted as a speaker! And I do believe God definitely gave him his words to speak for both the sermon and banquet. But what's been on my mind is the very beginning of his speech for that evening. He put up two phrases on the screen which both are about the same topic, but because of some changes in word placement, are two very different frames of mind regarding God's command to Christians to spread the Good News of Christ's death and resurrection (the Great Commission):

"I am willing to go, but planning to stay."

"I am planning to go, but willing to stay."

Do you see the difference? Is it just me, or does this not get your head spinning?

And what's more, God has really had me wrestling with the thought of those who will be eternally separated from Him and will have never heard. And funny enough, Dr. Murray actually told a story about someone he had led to Christ who had that very same struggle.

I just don't think it's coincidence.

What that means for my life and Ben's, I'm not sure, because ultimately I must follow my husbands lead. But what I do know is I can pray fervently that God will show Ben where He wants us to be, where He can use us best, how we can always be active in helping spread the good news. And that Ben will be sensitive to the guiding of the Holy Spirit. What I find crazy in all this is Ben has always had but has found even more pressing lately a heart for the unreached.

God is stirring the waters over here. In a good, uncomfortable kind of way.

I don't ever want to be the first statement. Ever.

(Though I'm done hashing out my thoughts, I want to leave this remark: I don't know who does and doesn't read my blog. I know at this time it doesn't seem to reach many people, but I also don't know what everyone who reads believes. If you don't know who Jesus is or you want to know more about him, please feel free to comment (make sure you are NOT a NO REPLY BLOGGER. Here is a good tutorial by Pink Heels Pink Truck. You have to scroll down to #3, but it is succinct :) ) or e-mail me at 

mylifestidbits@gmail.com

I'd be more than happy to converse with you via internet about it!)

Verse #4

I'm a couple of days late here. Seems to be the theme of my life with all these guests coming and going from my humble abode.

I wanted to share with you the fourth verse in my journey of 24 for 2013. As of right now, I don't have much to say about it other than I know I need the reminder. God just laid it on my heart this morning so it's an oldie but completely fresh at the moment.

1 John 4:18 NASB

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involved punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."

SSMT 2013
Verse 1 & Link to Join In!
Verse 2
Verse 3

SSMT Verse #3

Hebrews 12:1-2 NASB

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumberance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

SSMT 2013

Verse 1 & Link to Join In!
Verse 2

SSMT 2013 #2

So if you're wondering what SSMT is, I suggest you follow the link. And let me tell you, and Beth will tell you too if you go to the links I have in the post I linked, it's not too late to join in!

Anyway, I'm gonna keep this short and sweet. Simply my second verse of the year. And hopefully God will use it to speak to you as He is to me. Because let me tell you, the word is piercing and life changing and I'm loving it!

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

Philippians 4:8 NASB

SSMT 2013
Verse 1 & Link to Join in!

Cease Striving

One thing I am loving about memorizing scripture is how much it permeates my thoughts.

I can't get Psalm 46:10 out of my thoughts.

And because of that, I'm constantly focusing on being still in trusting my God. The Creator of the Universe. Lover of my soul.

"Cease striving and know that I am God."

*sigh* (a good sigh, a cleansing breath of fresh air)

See, the definition of striving is as follows:

to devote serious effort or energy

And when situations arise in which my ugly self wants to try to control and ensure following events go a certain way, I find myself more tired. I find myself displeased. With myself. With life in general. With those around me. Not to mention, they never go how I planned them anyway.

Because whether I try to fool myself or not, I was never in control.

Which is why I kicked off this year memorizing this scripture. To remind myself, that no matter how things go this year, God is weaving a story bigger than I can imagine and if I would step back, trust Him, and look for the story He has for me, I can enjoy life much more, because in that I will be enjoying my Creator.

Good, no? I think so. 

Oswald Chambers made a statement in My Utmost for His Highest that spoke straight into this verse and where my heart is right now. It's from today's reading: "You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing."¹

This statement could not be more true.

Think about it. Do you know what you're going to do until you've done it?

Absolutely not!

And yet we spend time attempting to control our plans and setting them out as though we know for certain they will happen.

Makes me thankful for verses like Psalm 46:10. So grateful God led me to that verse to kick off memorizing this year!

                                              

1. Chambers, Oswald. My Utmost for His Highest. Classic Ed.

Uhrichsville: Barbour & Company, Inc., 1963. 2. Print.

Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2013

So many people know about Beth Moore.

In the last year or so, I stumbled across her LPM (Living Proof Ministries) blog, which incidentally she blogs on with two of her other staff.

I'm not sure I had made a statement here on this blog about how impressed I was by the Holy Spirit to really begin memorizing scriptures. I've always known it's key to following Christ. He obviously knew it was important (See verses 1-11).

But I've never had anyone hold me accountable and oddly enough, I've never felt I could ask someone to enter this journey with me.

Enter Beth's blog post about SSMT 2013.

And today it begins (This link takes you to the instructions on how to "register" for this. It is also the post where you will comment with your first verse. No matter when you decide to start! And no worries - it's FREE)!

So here I invite you to join me on this journey. Hundreds of other women already have. And they suspect it will really be thousands.

With that invitation out there, I will leave you with my first verse, out of twenty-four for the year, for SSMT 2013!

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 NASB