Praying for Him: His Repentance

I'm a tad behind, so you may find me posting a few of these this week...if I find the time amidst packing and other normal life happening around these parts. I wasn't even aware how behind I was due to life being so crazy over here. I feel like it's just flying right by and I can't stop it if I want to, which part of me does considering it means I have less and less time to prepare for the newborn who will be welcomed into our home in no time flat.

Anyway, the point of this particular chapter was repentance.

Let me start by putting the definition out there, because I think we lightly throw this word around, missing the true depth of what we're saying, myself included many times.

re•pent•ance

/ri-'pen-tᵊn(t)s/

1. the action of repenting; sincere regret or remorse.

What gets me in the definition is the word sincere. Why? Well, let's look at it's definition:

sin•cere
/sin-'sir-, sən-/

1. having or showing true feelings
2. genuine or real: not false, fake, or pretended

So you can't feign repentance. You can say the words "I'm sorry" and not truly mean it, not truly care whether your behavior changes at all. But when it comes to repentance, for it to be classified as such, it must be sincere, which means there is no room for it to be feigned in any form or fashion.

Why did this strike a chord with me?

Because as much as I would love to say I only need to pray this for my husband in this area (Don't read too much into that last part, I'll get to him in a minute.), I desperately need the reminder apart from the Lord and His working in my life, there are many times I have no desire to change at. all. Is anyone with me? I'm willing to bet many of you have felt, are in the middle of, or will feel (It's likely all three are true.) this way at some point.

I lash out in anger with no remorse, no regret for how it affected the other person, because in the moment it felt good to uphold my pride a little longer. I choose to waste time doing something with no lasting importance over spending time in the word, when my heart has specfically been pressed to do so, with no desire to repent because it means giving up my worldly comfort for something that I know will challenge me in areas I may not want to face. I sit on moving forward with a decision I have specifically felt led by the Spirit to move forward with because I know it will stretch me far beyond my limits with no regret or desire to change because I know it will mean giving up something else I enjoy, even if it was something God had originally told me to do.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Stormie's words of how praying for your spouse will really open doors of praying for yourself keep coming back to me (read the post for week 2 of this series) and (these are going to be my words now) I'm reminded how each of us should worry more about the log in our own eye before we start worrying about the speck in someone else's (reference to Matthew 7:5; I recommend reading 7:1-5 to get the big picture). And boy am I thankful for this reminder.

So when it comes to praying my spouse will be repentant, it's going to lead me to check my own heart first. It's going to help remind me that even if there is a situation where he hasn't truly repented yet, I myself have been found in the same place, could possibly be in the same place, giving me a compassion and grace only from God which might not have been there before. It's going to remind me as much as my husband may try to truly love me well or may be blind to a sin he is stuck in, my strength needs to come solely from depending on God alone and not finding his faults and begin picking at the wounds those faults have inflicted on him. And so this leads way to laying my pride down at the foot of the cross. (Which is why I said not to read into my statement about wishing I only had to pray for repentance in Ben; the statement was about my pride, not an "Oh! And you better believe I have to pray for his repentance!)

Maybe I'm rabbit trailing all over the place. My mind is a bit like that these days with the move close at hand, the pregnancy taking anything I have to offer, a toddler who is in full swing of making sure I'm learning the parenting ropes with her (No, that is not a jab at her. It's just a statement of how much she is currently testing limits set to see if I really mean them, a very normal phase of childhood and always present task of parenting.), and lots of life going on around all of those wonderful, yet taxing, situations.

Anyway, what I've "written" makes sense to me and has helped me process this chapter of praying for repentance in my spouse. What I've gained most is realizing the sensitivity needed in this area, praying from a heart not hardened or embittered but truly asking for the best my husband can have, which is a lifestyle encompassed by a repentant heart.

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Here are the rest of my posts from this 30 week series I'm doing on praying for my husband:

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Week 11: A Confession  Week 12: His Choices  Week 13: His Health  Week 14: His Protection

Week 15: His Trials  Week 16: His Integrity  Week 17: His Reputation  Week 18: His Priorities

Week 19: His Relationships  Week 20: His Fatherhood  Week 21: What Can Haunt Us All

Week 22: A Daily Choice  Week 23: His Marriage Week 24: A Part of Him I Forget About

Week 25: Walking with Jesus  Week 26: Our Strongest Muscle, Our Greatest Weakness

Praying for Him: Our Strongest Muscle, Our Greatest Weakness

I'm going to put it out there: about all I have for this post is the title. I can come up with a catchy title, but my day has been a long one, I'm exhausted, and part of me wants nothing more than to curl into a ball in a corner and be left alone. I could cry as I'm typing. Part of it is pregnancy hormones, part of it is all the craziness of our schedule right now, and part of it is huge decisions we've been discussing for months now finally culminating to a head but with new information only catching me off gaurd.

Anyway, this week was on the tongue. You know the all to familiar body part that sometimes you wish you could silence in yourself and other times you want to sew shut someone else's mouth so their tongue wouldn't give them a voice? Yeah...I'm pretty sure the message of the tongue's power to give life or to take it will never lose it's edge with me.

And my thoughts stop there. I'll leave with three verses: two familiar, one not used as much but still very powerful.

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." Ephesians 4:31 NASB

"For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart." Matthew 12:34b NASB

"He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles." Proverbs 21:23 NASB

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Here are the rest of my posts from this 30 week series I'm doing on praying for my husband:

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Week 11: A Confession  Week 12: His Choices  Week 13: His Health  Week 14: His Protection

Week 15: His Trials  Week 16: His Integrity  Week 17: His Reputation  Week 18: His Priorities

Week 19: His Relationships  Week 20: His Fatherhood  Week 21: What Can Haunt Us All

Week 22: A Daily Choice  Week 23: His Marriage Week 24: A Part of Him I Forget About

Week 25: Walking with Jesus

Praying for Him: Walking with Jesus

"Faith and obedience will get him on the Highway of Holiness; walking in the Spirit, and not in the flesh, will keep him there." (p. 165)

If there is one part of our lives I have covered in prayer, it is our walks with the Lord. Not just Ben's, but mine, and hoping the same for my children.

My mind constantly breaths a quick prayer: "May we keep our eyes fixed on You, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. (reference to Hebrews 12:2) May we always choose to build our relationship with You. May we not fall away on account of the trials we face."

Even though my family lives in a country where it is professed you are free to believe whatever you choose, trials still come our way and persecution finds it's many different forms. Life is hard, choosing to have faith isn't always easy or desirable in our humannes. Satan wants to see us fail.

And so I pray. I cover my home in prayer requesting God give us strength to stand firm.

An aspect of this chapter I really liked was how Stormie lists several verses with the different quality stated in how we're to walk. I want to put that list here, both to see it in a different form for myself and so you can have it to look at:

How We Are to Walk:

1. with moral correctness (Psalm 84:11)
2. without fault (Proverbs 28:18)
3. with godly advisors (Psalm 1:1)
4. in obedience (Psalm 128:1)
5. with people of wisdom (Proverbs 13:20)
6. with integrity (Proverbs 10:9)
7. a path of holiness (Isaiah 35:8)

I love how she follows up how we're supposed to walk with this: "The best part about walking on the Highway of Holiness is that even if we end up doing something dumb, we still won't get thrown off the path." (p. 164; list compiled from p. 163-164) It's a reminder to recognize even when we strive to choose walking with the Lord, we are imperfect people in need of a perfect Savior. If we became perfect while here on earth, we would stop needing Him. Yet, knowing we will never reach perfection here doesn't mean we should bathe our lives in prayer, asking God to help us to walk with Him daily.

This really applies to everyone. This isn't something that need only be prayed for your spouse. As I mentioned in the beginning, I bathe our entire family in prayer asking we remain grounded in the Spirit. 

The verses which always come to mind when I'm praying over our walks is what I will leave you with (Yes, in their entirety even though I referenced part of it earlier. It's just too good not to :]):

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

Hebrews 12:1-3 NASB

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Here are the rest of my posts from this 30 week series I'm doing on praying for my husband:

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Week 11: A Confession  Week 12: His Choices  Week 13: His Health  Week 14: His Protection

Week 15: His Trials  Week 16: His Integrity  Week 17: His Reputation  Week 18: His Priorities

Week 19: His Relationships  Week 20: His Fatherhood  Week 21: What Can Haunt Us All

Week 22: A Daily Choice  Week 23: His Marriage Week 24: A Part of Him I Forget About

Praying for Him: A Part of Him I Forget About

This may not be the case for all wedded women, but for me, I can tell you there is one thing I frequently forget to even bathe in prayer when it comes to my husband: his emotions. This may sound silly, but the honest truth is I do: I'm pretty sure the words, "Do you have emotions?," have escaped my lips one too many times. (And no, I am not saying any form of that question is a good one to ask. I highly do not recommend it.)

You see, I married a wonderful, even-keeled man. As such, I'm pretty sure his face look the same in anger, excitement, sorrow, joy, you name it, his face and body language won't change much. Or, to confuse me even more, when he's angry he'll have the same face he had when he was sad just a few days before, when he's excited it will be the exact same as his normal daily face.

Now please understand, I am not bashing my husband. I need an even-keeled person because I show enough emotion for at least two people. It just becomes frustrating when everything looks the same. It is hard to see there is emotion under a surface almost always doused in optimism. (No, that isn't a joke. And friends, just like realism is a blessing and a curse - the lens I typically see life through - so is optimism. The only aspect of this life cracked up to be what it really is is Jesus. Umm...did I just say it like that? The only part of this life which is a complete blessing and, though has many hardships, holds no curse with it is a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.)

Anyway...

So I forget he has emotions. Sounds quite silly, but it's completely true. Thus, I completely forget to pray against negative emotions which have found their way into Ben's soul. I don't think it helps he is typically looking at a glass as half-full; shoot, he sees it as one-quarter full. If there is something in it, it is whatever amount is left full. And so prayers over stress, worry, anger, jealousy, hopelessness, fear, what have you all fall to the wayside.

Then when he does happen to show some emotion, I wonder what on earth is eating him. I wonder where on earth it came from because it almost always seems to be out of the blue, yet I'm being told he's been struggling for a while.

Thankfully, we are both growing through this. He is learning to be more in tune with his emotions, I am learning to see just because he doesn't show emotion or even show it in a way I readily comprehend does not mean emotions aren't buried deep with no need to be addressed.

Though the emotions Stormie has stories for in this chapter aren't ones Ben typically struggles with, I did like what she says at the very end of it: 

"Often [negative emotions] are only a habitual way of thinking that has been given place over time. Men tend to believe it's part of their character that can't be altered, but these patterns can be broken. Don't stand by and watch your husband be manipulated by his emotions. Freedom may be just a prayer away." (p. 161)

 Whether our husbands are great at showing their emotions or better at keeping them locked deep within, emotions deserve to be covered in prayer. God wants our whole hearts; any emotion not from Him or stealing our focus away from Him should not be given home in our hearts.

It is my hope and prayer, for myself as well as for all of us, to bathe my own emotions as well as my husbands in communication with my Father, who loves me and wants what is best for me, and who also wants the same for my husband. May I not forget to pray for even that which seems to not be a struggle.

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Here are the rest of my posts from this 30 week series I've done on praying for my husband:

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Week 11: A Confession  Week 12: His Choices  Week 13: His Health  Week 14: His Protection

Week 15: His Trials  Week 16: His Integrity  Week 17: His Reputation  Week 18: His Priorities

Week 19: His Relationships  Week 20: His Fatherhood  Week 21: What Can Haunt Us All

Week 22: A Daily Choice  Week 23: His Marriage