I find myself lacking words for this post. Ironically, I actually read the chapter and found myself praying on multiple occasions regarding Ben's healthy.
However, I think I'm at a loss is because Stormie opens this chapter talking about how she would suggest a daily exercise or workout routine to her husband, who wanted nothing to do with it. So she prayed.
The minute I read those words I began feeling slightly guilty.
Thus, I had to do some soul searching.
Was the guilt there because I wasn't regarding the Spirit speaking to my heart or I was wishing for something different other than I have right now?
After working myself through it, while continuing to pray for general health for Ben, I realized the guilt was more of the latter. (Feeling guilty over things of which I shouldn't - ie strong, bibilical convictions that make someone else feel uncomfortable - occurs a lot with me, causing me to have to look within myself and really dissect it. Though it's a weakness, I also find that it's giving me a strength to really take time to seek God and have Him show me my heart and what does or doesn't need to be changed.) It was more of the latter because at this time in our lives, true, daily exercise routines that are at the peak of benefit for us are just not realistic.
For Ben it would mean he was up at 3:30/4 am OR missed out on time with Zoë and myself once he arrived home. For myself, I would have to get up by 4:30/5 so I could be done before Ben left for work or go out in the ridiculous heat of the day (Ummm..no!) with Zoë (Double NO!). And by the end of the day, I'm in not shape to even think about exercising.
So while I do dream of the day that we can actually have a legit work out routine, I let go of praying that Ben would "work out" and asked that God would grant us the motivation to at least stay active, take family walks, play tag with Zoë (And if you don't believe me, this can be quite a work out. Almost like mini sprints :), and continue to watch what we eat.
As long as we do that, for the time being, I feel we are doing everything in our power to take care of the physical bodies we have been given. And I feel completely at peace asking that God protect the rest of our health.
Thus I found myself asking on several occasions that God would grant Ben's rest to leave him feeling rested and rejuvinated for the day to come. I found myself asking God that I would do a better job to try to work in some form of "exercise" daily with Zoë, both in efforts to get us out of the home and in effort to teach her good habits. I heard my heart quietly ask that our bodies be guarded against any communicable diseases. And I hoped and prayed that niether of us would see a day where either of our bodies were wracked with some horrible disease that left any of us not as we were.
And that no matter what, we would willingly go down whatever road He leads us on and allow Him to use it for His glory.
Thankfully, what started with guilt ended with feeling uplifted about this phase in our lives and the different ways we can still care for ourselves even if it isn't what I picture as ideal. And hopefully, this will remain a habit so that as we enter different phases we are creative about beginning to work in an actual exercise routine to complement the way we eat and live the rest of our lives.
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Over a 30 week period, which I started with an intro on May 1st, I will be doing a weekly series where I talk about my journey through Stormie Omartian's Power of a Praying Wife. I felt led to pray for my husband, wanted to incorporate the book, but knew that doing a 30 day challenge was next to impossible. (Let's face it: life with a baby just-turned-Toddler changes and there are still nights with many wake up calls due to teething or illness. I'd already tried once and failed.) So this series was born as a way to share, encourage, and hold me accountable to the commitment I made. I'll keep a list of links for the series on each post so you can easily access them all. Enjoy!
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