The Basketball Under My Shirt

My title is a great summation of how I look and feel right now. Well...add all the effects of that basketball actually being stuck inside you stretching you to the nth degree. Either way, I look like the kid who thought it is hilarious to shove a basketball under their shirt. It's nice that you can tell I'm pregnant and I don't just look like I'm packing on the pounds.

The fun part of where I am right now is how much I can see and feel Zoë move :) It looks like an alien is preparing to bust out of me. That may sound harsh but it really looks other-wordly watching it from the outisde.

My Sweet Little Zoë -

Dear one you are growing so big so quickly! My body shows more every day that God has His hand on your life. Daddy prays every day you will continue to grow healthy and strong. So far - God has blessed us by continuing to allow you to do so. It is amazing to know very soon you will be with us and we won't just "watch" you from our side of your world.

You have quickly started showing your acrobatic side :) I feel you move every day and we enjoy watching you make my stomach jump. It really looks like you want to punch out of me at times! The bigger you get the more we can see and, as weird as it seems at times, I love being able to see you move. Such a precious, sweet reminder of your little life. You still adore the comfiness of my bladder. I'm really not much of a fan of it anymore as you make me frequent the bathroom due to how big you're getting. Unfortunately, you're not a fan of me trying to get you off my bladder either. You respond many a time by mozying down even more onto your "pillow". Persistent little booger :)

I also cherish how much you seem to enjoy music. You're picky too! You move to a lot of different tunes but if you don't like it you will immediately stop moving. I'm not sure if you just inherited an affinity for loving music or if you will have an uncanny musical ability passed down from my side of the family. Either way I love how much you respond to music. So special!

Sweet Pea, I love you so unbelievably MUCH! Sometimes I can't believe how much I love you. I pray for you every day. Daddy and I have chosen Psalm 119:105 to pray over you: "Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path." We pray we will help to guide you to know and live in His ways. Our desire is to see you grow so that you depend on Him in everything trusting His word to light your path throughout your entire life. He is the reason we exist and we want you to know Him personally. I say all this because I know my love for you, which seems so great in human terms, pales in comparison to His love for you!

May God's hand continue to be on you in these last weeks as you develop and prepare to become a part of our world. May He keep both myself and you healthy and strong, just as Daddy prays, for the final 13 weeks.

I love you Bean!
Mommy

It's Coming Fast...

And part of me can't WAIT! That's right - I love my Louis but part of me is so ready for him to go to his new home. Between being completely exhausted when I arrive home at night and hating splittling my small amount of time with my husband with the dog (as the dog will not get out of our faces), it is safe to say I have come to the happy place of giving him away.

Do not be fooled! I have cried many a tear over finding a new home for Louis. Not to mention, the goodbye will likely be said with tears flowing down both cheeks. However, I know it is best for the dog and best for the sanity of myself and Ben and our relationship.

And thus, the happiness of knowing the right choice has been made, a new wonderful family awaits him, and Ben and I will have a few months of just us to focus on before Zoe arrives is extremely overwhelming right now. Thankfully so, as life has thrown one too many a curve ball here lately. Thank God for His unsurmountable joy given to us in those times of severe loss of human happiness. But it truly is nice to have something to be happy about. It is faint in my heavy heart, to which I will not expound, but ever still a shining light in the darkness.

Louis will be going to his new home on Christmas Eve. I cannot wait to see the video of the three kids who will be getting him for a Christmas surprise! We already know Louis loves their house as we took him over there to see what he thought. No problem there - ran around like he knew the place and even figured out in an hours time where the door to "outside" was. HA!

Ah Louis, I will miss you but I am ever so thankful you are going to a new home. A home to bestow your sweet, rambunctious personality on and be tuckered out by three kids vying for your attention. 

The Dog Who Wanted to Go to Work

Yes. My story today happened because I was feeling quite faint - a new normal in my pregnant life. Zoë's gift to me right now is low blood pressure. Along with that comes my body adjusting most mornings after having comfortably sleeping lying down the night before. Thank you Zoë for this new found gift (much much better than the alternative I must say)!

Anyway, I was getting ready to put my lunch in my lunch bag when I had to sit down. After waiting a while, I tried to move around to walk out the door and just didn't feel well enough to walk out there by myself. Ben, being the most wonderful husband there is (seriously! I am SO beyond blessed!), graciously obliged to help me to my car just to ensure I didn't pass out on the way. Thus, we walked out the door with Ben closing it behind us.

Just as we made it to my car, one of the residents here exclaims, "OH NO! Uh that's someone's dog!" Ben and I both look over to see the guy jumping away from Louis! Apparently, Ben didn't shut the door well enough to latch so it opened back up. Louis took that as an opportunity to run and find us.

As soon as we realized it was Louis, I called him over. He came with wagging tail and ready for me to pick him up. I immediately put him in my car because it seemed the only logical solution since my other hand was full and Ben had both hands full. As I put all my stuff on the seat, Louis stared out the window grinning like he was ready to come to work with me. Silly dog! He normally freaks when he sees the car (we're pretty sure he has car anxiety - he vomits just about every car ride we take) but showed no inkling of it this morning.

Boy am I going to miss that dog! At least we have good memories while he is here :) [For those who don't know, Ben and I decided it would be best to find a new home for him due to our crazy schedules, lack of time and attention able to give him, and impending baby coming home only to steal more time away from him. Unless something changes, God has provided a home through a great family from our church who will provide exactly what he needs and give him just as much if not more love than we do! He will be going home to them this Christmas.]

It's a GIRL!!

Yes indeed! I'm here to say motherly intuition played in and won out on this one: I would have guessed its a girl. I didn't really say such as I am not God and it was a guessing game for me until the sonogram showed. Zoë Grace is measuring perfectly for her due date of March 17, 2012!

At the very, very beginning of the pregnancy I thought I was carrying a boy, honestly more out of fear of needing to produce a male heir for Ben's family than anything. But I quickly opted to stay neutral for a while when I kept hearing all those "hard facts" busted (and as I realized more why I "thought" it was a boy). Ya know how if you carry low it's a boy, high it's a girl. Or if you're really nauseous it's a girl. Shoot I can't even remember all of them but I know I kept hearing all of the statements said in opposite too: "NO! If you carry low it's a girl and high it's a boy." Well, that about did it for me. I realized the baby is what it is and no matter how you carry or the heart beats or what not it's gender is what God designed for it to be. SO...

I quickly let go of thinking it was a boy and somewhere in there just "knew" it was a girl. I honestly didn't mind either way. I knew I would be happy as long as I heard "seems to be healthy" at my check-ups and when we found out. Today was just that.

Hopefully, the pregnancy will continue to progress as such with absolutely zero complications. I truly am blessed to be able to say that. The few uncomfortable, not-completely-normal aspects I have experienced are very minor in comparison to some and I will gladly live with them for 19 or so more weeks.

I have a feeling my little "Bean" is going to be a cuddle bug. EVERY ultrasound we have a snapshot of her laying on her side with her hand under her head. She at least likes to get comfy for sure!

 Zoë Grace with her hand (very hard to see) snugged up tight under her cheek :) So precious to me!

She also just LOVES to change position and see how flexible she can show herself off to be. There were several times we caught her with her legs pulled completely to her chest. We also caught her like this:

If you notice, that line above her head is her leg stretched completely out above her head! Silly girl!

Oh...and it was soo cute: just before the tech caught the first pic, we got to see her take a HUGE yawn. Then she snuggled up. Ben says she's going to be a little gymnast :)

To my Sweet Little "Bean":

Zoë you are already loved soooo much but no one will ever love you more than your mommy and daddy! Daddy is already talking about his need to purchase a shot gun and bat to ward off the boys :) It is my desire to raise you with a heart for the Lord ready to do just whatever He has designed for you. I hope and pray you continue to grow healthy and strong in your little cocoon. 

To give you an idea of what's going on in your world right now:

• Your heart continues to beat healthy and strong at 144 bpm
• You are extremely flexible, my dear, and LOVE to show it off :)
• You have begun to practice swallowing and definitely like to yawn - we caught you take a big one just before you curled up for some sleep!
• You weigh a whole 14 oz which Doc says is just right.

That's about all I'm able to think of right now as I am very sleepy. BUT - don't you ever forget Mommy loves you VERY VERY MUCH!! Can't wait to meet you sweet girl!

Love, Hugs, and Kisses,
Mommy

P.S. Your cousin Brayden cannot wait to meet you. In fact, when Aunt Lindsey told him we found out you are a girl yesterday, he told her, "She needs to come out now!" :) I hope you guys will be good buddies (and that both B-man and Con-Con will protect you)!

Exhausted just doesn't describe it...

...not to mention fail at the blog prompts :)

Sleeping these days seems to be a thing of the past. I guess it's prepping me for life with "Bean". I get some rest at night. A little here. A little there. Unfortunately though, nature calls many times a night and the wee hours of the morning frequently seem to have a staring contest with me (and shutting my eyes doesn't seem to help me lose :/).

On the positive note, Louis seems to be steadily growing out of his "puppiness" and hanging on the the concepts we're working on with him. We love the little dude and hopefully he will continue to become a well-behaved canine citizen. We unfortunately will look for a new home if he can't (come on Louis! We're rooting for you!). Sometimes I do find myself completely frustrated with him, but for now I'm trying to see that as God using it to mold me. It's very similar to child, in my opinion.

Well I'm gonna jet seeing as I'm nodding off as I type.

Toodles!