Nervous Nellie. Dear Jesus, HELP!

Okay. So it isn't that bad now, but I sure have had a bout of the worries lately. The beginning of pregnancy is sooo hard! You take a pee stick test and/or a blood test that confirms you are, your stomach wants to jump up and out your throat, the acid in it becomes an enourmous volcano ready to erupt, the simple thought of some foods makes you gag, if you could you would prefer to be asleep 99.9% of the time, you pee so frequently you feel as though every 5 minutes is spent in the bathroom and begin to realize your hands are cracking from the frequency of washing, anytime your boob is touched the tenderness of them stretching is remembered, and you feel like you're shoving crackers down your throat to at least appease to the first three aformentioned symptoms. At least that's how I feel.

BUT...you can't feel the baby growing inside of you. You can't feel the pulse of the little heart that has already begun to pump blood by week 6. (I'm at week 7 as I type this...at least that's my guesstimation with all the info.) And there is no baby bump. Just some extra gas in there to add to my other symptoms to make me feel extra great.

At first I kept thinking: What if the baby is already gone? Or...What if I'm not doing something right? What if its twins? What if they don't find the heartbeat in the first ultrasound? What if, what if, what...


Can I control this? NO!

Does worry help this? Absolutely positively NO!

"So why are you worrying, child?" - Jesus

Oh Jesus! Help me to give this precious life to you!

Seriously, my thoughts. I feel like my brain is on this crazy roller coaster. And praying incessantly that Jesus will protect this little life He has blessed Ben and me with however He sees fit is not always easy. But is brings so much peace. Not of this world peace. God's peace.

Am I still nervous? Yes.

It is my first OB appointment and US.

But does it have to rule me? NO!

Ahhh...resting beside those quiet waters of sweet tranquility given only when I give all to Him. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Where would I be without you, Jesus?

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