Strong Will, Anyone?

There are times I become self conscious when it comes to people asking me if Zoë is always so mild mannered. I'm even self conscious when I tell them I have a little sass on my hands. I know I'm this way because I care a bit too much about what other's think of me (aka I care too much about other's approval), when I really should be sure of myself and my mothering skills. Not to mention my motherly intuition.

I'm a very intuitive person, as it is. However, that has been magnified x10 when it comes to my mothering radar. Yet, my insecurities seem to leave my knees shaking when I make an observation regarding my daughter.

Well, all this to say it was really nice to have my sister here when Zoë began to pitch a fit. She was fine until she dropped the toy she was playing with, instantly decided she didn't like that it was well out of reach (it being on the floor and she being in my arms up in a chair), and threw herself backward. (Praise God I know she does this and have developed a very strong, very quick reflex in responding to these fits) I immediately set her down in her pack 'n play to cry for a bit because she doesn't calm down unless she has the toy back in her hands; there is no way I'm going to even possibly nurse this bad habit. Before I even said anything about what was going on, Laura looked at me with a very surprised look. What she said after comforted me more than anything:

"Wow...you're gonna have your hands full."

That statement can be a little scary when I think about it. But the more I realize it isn't in my control, God has given me a strong willed child to grow me in ways I wouldn't be able to otherwise, and if I lean on him, training her to use that for good will ultimately be much easier to me than trying to teach someone who is so laid back they just go with the flow. I've got to choose to see the positive in this, otherwise I think I could go ahead and keel over.

Please don't get me wrong. Zoë is a very sweet baby. And most of the time she really is extremely well behaved for a baby. It just can send my blood pressure through the roof in .001 second when she does pitch a fit. It also, ironically, makes me feel quite helpless.

And when someone observes her very good behavior and asks if she's always like that, I feel like I blush tomato red because I feel like they won't believe me when I say she's got a little 'tude.

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