Praying for Him: His Trials

This week, I think I'm going to leave you with some of the scriptures that spoke to my heart on this topic and a few quotes from Stormie. I just don't feel that human words really ever do this topic justice.

I know that I so easily look at trials funny or don't seem to remember the hope that I have in the midst of them. And even more so, I find myself trying to pray them away instead of pray for God's unfaltering strength through them for both myself and my husband.

And so I want to leave you with the quotes I really liked from Stormie and the scriptures which really spoke to my heart and reminded me just how I should be praying when trials face Ben or me.

The first part of a quote I liked, Stormie shares a story about how some of their friends stood through a trial and how the wife "fervently prayed that [her husband] would not get discouraged in the battle, but be able to stand strong through it (p. 112)." - Yes! Yes! Yes! This is what I want to do when trials come our way!

"His purpose for our trials is often to bring us humbly before Him to experience a breaking in our inner, independent, self-sufficient selves, and grow us up into compassionate, patient, spiritually strong, God-glorifying people (p. 112)." Mmm...I'm not always a fan of the breaking when I'm in the midst of it, but I know that when I look back, I'm always thankful that God never gave up on me and always wants to refine me.

"If your husband is going through a difficult time, carry it in prayer, but don't carry the burden. Even though you may want to, don't try to take away his load and make it yours (p. 113)." Gah...I constantly need this reminder. I tend to take on those I care for's problems, when really I just need to be there to walk through it with them and cover them in prayer. Such a good reminder!!

Now for the scriptures that hit me when I was reading (all NASB):

James 1: 2, 3 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." Yes. This one is quoted. A lot. But I really think, at least for myself, it is always a great reminder. Scripture that will never grow rancid in my spirit, well I hope that it never goes "bad" or "gets old". 

Romans 8:18 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." I'm just going to let this one speak for itself. I need the reminder to see life this way a lot.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Another "popular" verse that I also think speaks for itself. A great verse to pray over everyone in my family, including myself. Great reminder.

Romans 8:38, 39 "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." This verse is a great reminder that even when trials seem dark and you may seem all alone, nothing can separate you from the love of God, thus you always have the hope of knowing that no matter the outcome, you're in God's hands. A much needed reminder for myself when I try to start carrying the burden that is meant to refine my best friend.

Psalm 55:16-18a "As for me, I shall call upon God, And the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, And He will hear my voice. He will redeem my soul in peace from the battle which is against me..." The reminder that God hears our pleas in the midst of struggles and that no matter the outcome will redeem my husband's soul in peace...just a great reminder!

I'm pretty sure there are way more scriptures that apply to this topic, but these are the ones that Stormie mentioned and these are the ones I'm currently clinging to and have at the forefront of my mind. 

I hope that I will remember to seek out God and pray these scriptures over Ben, or even myself, when the battles come, no matter how difficult it may be.

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Over a 30 week period, which I started with an intro on May 1st, I will be doing a weekly series where I talk about my journey through Stormie Omartian's Power of  a Praying Wife. I felt led to pray for my husband, wanted to incorporate the book, but knew that doing a 30 day challenge was next to impossible. (Let's face it: life with a baby just-turned-Toddler changes and there are still nights with many wake up calls due to teething or illness. I'd already tried once and failed.)  So this series was born as a way to share, encourage, and hold me accountable to the commitment I made. I'll keep a list of links for the series on each post so you can easily access them all. Enjoy!

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Week 11: A Confession  Week 12: His Choices  Week 13: His Health  Week 14: His Protection

Announcement Q's

So there are a couple of Q's I'm always asked when I tell someone that I'm expecting. Considering I wanted to leave yesterday's announcement solely to Zoë, I decided to answer those questions in a post today.

When are you due? The EDD I've been given is February 12, 2014. I'm really hoping this baby is a February baby as we have no February birthday's in our family. I always like the idea of adding another month to our calendar. Also, this means that Zoë and Baby D will be almost 2 years apart. 23 months, to be exact. (That is, if I get that hoped for February b-day.)

How are you feeling? Well, not so great. Yet, I'm trying to see the positive in it that usually a nausea and fatigue filled beginning of pregnancy mean a healthy baby. It definitely means that I have plenty of pregnancy hormones. My doctor, thankfully, has given me Zofran as on the days the nausea is bad I can barely keep down toast. I can't keep down bananas and there are couple of foods that make me nauseated just by their smell. Oh and don't get me started on other non-food related smells. Pregnancy nose? You'd think I'm 10 blood hounds put together. I'm hoping that this part of the pregnancy will pass soon so that I can be a bit more active with Zoë.

Unfortunately, insomnia has no positives in pregnancy. And I have a lot of it. I recently read that some naturally caffeine free teas can help. Looks like I'll be going to the grocery store and hoping that I can stomach it. (Yes, even though I have Zofran, I'm really trying my best to really save it for the really bad, can't look at toast days. I'm grateful that the nausea is starting to get better, but it's not completely gone and takes me by surprise some days. That's a lot of fun. *cough* NOT *cough* I don't take it daily because I'm not a huge fan of meds in pregnancy so I really try to keep anything to a minimal. I promise I'm not a masochist. I'm not a fan of meds when I'm not pregnant.)

Are you finding out the gender? Yes. We are. However, we have gone back and forth on deciding whether we will keep the gender to ourselves until D-day or if we will go ahead and announce it to everyone. More than likely we will be sharing what this tiny bundle is, but only time will truly tell if we decide to change our minds or not. We still have almost two months before we find out. Lots of time to change our minds. And then change them back again. Ha!

Are you showing? Well, if you ask those who are not me, they will tell you yes. And while I am showing a wee bit, I'm honestly under the belief (and let's face it, this is my body) that most of my "bump" right now is bloat. I will start posting pics with my first bumpdate next Monday. I'll go ahead an tell you here that my actual "weekly change" day is Wednseday. However, originally, by LMP, we thought that my day would change on Sunday. Perfect day to take a picture because I am almost always "dressed" up for church and actually have some make up put on. So I started taking pictures on Sunday, thinking I was at least 7-8 weeks along. And then we found out that everything hadn't completely gone back to "normal" after the miscarriage, I wasn't as far along as we thought (by almost two weeks. HA!) AND the day of change is Wednseday. Oops! So because I like knowing I'll look decent (read: I'll know for sure I've showered and have at least mascara on :), we're going to keep the bumpdate on Monday with a picture taken on Sunday. (Maybe I'm crazy, but I've generally never posted on a weekend, unless for a link-up challenge, and I kind of like to keep it that way. A little different? Yes. OCD? Umm...if you didn't know that you are probably new to my blog. I think I talk about my many different OCD problems around here consistently....maybe I don't and I think I do, but it's definitely there. hehe) I will say I'm pretty sure I'm showing more for this baby than I did with Zoë, which means the "warm-up" effect is definitely in action.

Do you want a boy or a girl? Actually, I probably should have phrased it this way: "Are you hoping for a boy?" I guess people assume that maybe since I have a girl, I would want to have a boy so I have one of each. Not really sure why it's phrased that way but here is my response:

Honestly, when it comes down to the wire, I want and ask God for a 100% healthy baby. Gender aside. Because at the end of the day, it isn't about gender to me. It is about loving and guiding and teaching each little addition we are given and hopefully raising them in a way that they will become a God-fearing, sold-out-to-Jesus man or woman.

But, if I had my pick of gender, I would want a girl. I'll be honest, having a boy intimidates me a bit more. People who have boys talk about how many times they think they are "easier" in that their difficulty usually lies in all the hustle and bustle. Girls, well they're emotional. However, as hard as it is some days, I don't mind working through all the emotions a tiny human girl has and it isn't daunting to me the thought of all the possibilities we will deal with as she gets older. Also, if you've stuck around my blog, you know that I'm very much a home body, low-key exercise type of person. Yes, the "hustle and bustle", full of endless energy scares me a bit. Plus, it's uncharted territories, and if you know me even a smidge it doesn't take long to find out that I am very slow to warm to change. I mean v-e-r-y s-l-o-w.

Plus, the relationship will be totally different if we have a boy, than if we have another girl. I think the opportunity for stronger bonds to be formed are there if we have another girl. Not that strong bonds can't be formed between a sister and brother, I think the opposite is true - there is just a much potentional for a great relationship. Yet, even with that potential, it will still never be the same as a sisterly bond would produce and I would love for Zoë and this baby to have that opporunity. Please also note, I am under no assumptions that, whether boy or girl, these two will be best friends. They may not be. But it is my full desire and intent to try and help foster a great reltaionship and hope that God will bless them with such.

HOWEVER, all that aside, like I said, and I will say over and over again, I really just want and ask for a healthy baby. And I pray that should this baby have some disability or health journey of any sort, I would depend on God in the same way for this child as I have been striving to do with Zoë.

Are you excited? I am honestly just really beginning to allow myself to feel the excitement. With the recent miscarriage (You can also read more posts baring my emotions if you read the posts labeled miscarriage.), it has taken me up until now to really even feel excited, let alone let myself feel it when it starts to creep up. After losing a baby, the realization you have no control over the life growing within takes a heavy presence and presents a crazy opportunity to trust or run from God. I am grateful to say that by His grace alone I have done the prior. Every moment I find myself worrying about that which I cannot control, He has whispered scripture in my ear and reminded me that even as we walked that path, He was then and always will be good. It is His nature. Graciously, He has allowed us to make it this far. And I realize what a huge blessing it is: to still be carrying the baby. So part of me has held back, but most of me has been overjoyed with the another opportunity to be in this place. To be granted, for the time being, to care for another tiny blessing. So long answer short, yes and no I am excited. And I'm not sure that it will change until I hear the cries and hold that perfectly wrinkled pink flesh in my hands while hearing the words, "Congratulations!" come from the hospital staff. Because though I will love this baby as though I know they will be joining us in the months to come, I also know that I have no guarantee, thus the waging war between fear and excitement. (Just keepin' it real, you guys!)


Well, that's a wrap. Those are the typical, "Oh, you're expecting!" Qs I get. Be looking for the weekly bumpdates starting next Monday!

Zoë's Big Announcement

Well, Zoë is becoming quite the "talker" these days. No phrases yet, but she's full of plenty of words. She also loves to "talk" on the phone. Thus, she thought it was appropriate to spread the news like that...well, sort of.

Doesn't she look like she's talking to you on the phone ready to tell you something?

I thought that picture was perfect, but as the message is a little blurred...

...here's a picture where the message is a little clearer:

You guys, I am so excited to tell you that, God willing, Zoë will be a big sister this winter! And I honestly believe that she is going to be the best big sister a younger sibling could ask for! These pictures are several weeks old, but I'm glad I took them when I did because it's even harder to get her to sit still for pictures now. (Plus, what's not to love about the baby chub which is going away by. the. day. I can't take pics where she still looks like a baby anymore. Who stole my baby?!)

I look forward to sharing with you the journey this pregnancy takes our little family on! I've heard the journey from 3 to 4 can be quite the experience :)

Frankly Friday [v. 8]

Another Frankly Friday with Amy!

This may be a quick post. It may not be.
But I just want to get my thoughts out there after reading the first two books of the Bible, Genesis and Exodus.
As a Christ-follower I frequently hear people say, and I firmly believe, that all of life is about God being glorified. And He will be glorified even if you try to go against His will. (There are several biblical stories as well as many people I have met currently living who are testament to that. Just read Exodus 4-15. That's one of many, with several preceding it.) However, one of the newer lines of thinking I've been introduced to is really trying to see the "God" moments in your life, to see how He is weaving your story even if it feels like maybe He couldn't design it this way or you get lost in your humanness and life is just so good you start taking credit. The bottom line is taking time to see how He is working in your life so that He may be glorified.
Anyway, I had decided recently to try to read through the Bible in a year again. I've done it once and enjoy doing it on occasion just because it gives a big picture rather than taking a small snap shot and focusing on it.
As I've read, I keep seeing how the story really isn't about Adam or Noah or Abraham or any of the other patriarchs or other "main" characters. Really it's all about how God is using those people to Himself be glorified. And I've been blown away. How I've missed this before, I'm not really sure, but it makes even the most boring of texts (read: Leviticus [book of laws] and Numbers [literally a census of the people]) become interesting. I knew before that it was about God, that it really wasn't about these people, though there are lessons we can learn from them, and really about nothing other than Him. But to actually read it in that light, well I'm really enjoying it.
It's refreshing. It's uplifting to my spirit. And I hope that as long as I am able to read, the Bible continues to show me more of how God weaves Himself into every story and is glorified.

Mother

she sits

weary from a long days work

she woke, eyelids heavy

with will to barely prop them open

now she wills herself to look through them

work still waiting

though kids lie fast asleep

bleary eyed

she sits

weary

thankful for mercies anew

oh the moments she'd change!

mulitply the "i love you"s

ask Him bestow gentler tone

enjoy all discoveries new

instruct with loving guidance

she sits

hoping to grasp

if even a single moment

days turn to months

she cannot will time stop

each day seems steal sanity

little by little

yet surely there is a single moment

she sits

reminded faults teach forgiveness

grace and mercy too

finding triumph in the small

place to learn in the failure

knowing strength comes

only in Him

trust only Him

she smiles

all is not lost

weary and tired seem define all

yet there is beauty

He makes all things beautiful in there time

for some moments it is now

so this title comes not effortless

yet a most fulfilling call

she is Mother

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I wrote this simply because I find myself many times wondering how I'm going to make it through each moment - the sticky fingers, the food thrown every where, the sparkling eyes asking "Did you really draw that line?" as a finger reaches out, the fussiness because of teeth cutting, the whining when something doesn't happen how she thinks or wants it to - to live and tell the next. Oh and did I mention that sometimes I completely see the horror of the moms you see on the news flash before my eyes in moments of sheer anger? And I can see me being that mom if I wasn't depending on God and reminding myself that I am the adult, not the child who needs instruction? (Yes. Maybe I am bold for typing that out on here, but my guess is that if you have kids or work with them consistently, some of you can completely relate to this.) Let me be clear that these are only horrid day dreams. I have not and will not, by God's continued grace and practicing healthy anger dispelling techniques, harm my child.

Thankfully, I'm learning to laugh at those moments. And truly see that we all still have that little child inside of us, she just actually acts it out because she knows no better. It helps me to look at it in a different light, sometimes giving me ideas on how to help her learn a different behavior. Or a better way to handle all those crazy emotions that she has yet to know what to do with them.

I also wrote this because I wanted to have a reminder for myself that though the days seem long and nights too short, it will all soon pass away. If I'm not careful to find the beauty in each moment of every day, I'm going to miss out on some of the best memories I could form with my daughter. And if I can't form that habit with the first, I find myself realizing that it will be even more a struggle to enjoy the moments if other little blessings make their way into our home. And if they don't, well then I will have missed out all together on what may be my only child.

Maybe this makes sense. Maybe it doesn't, but I needed to let the words take shape and form, even if it is the roughest poetry.

I sit reminded just how full and fully blessed my life is.