Mother

she sits

weary from a long days work

she woke, eyelids heavy

with will to barely prop them open

now she wills herself to look through them

work still waiting

though kids lie fast asleep

bleary eyed

she sits

weary

thankful for mercies anew

oh the moments she'd change!

mulitply the "i love you"s

ask Him bestow gentler tone

enjoy all discoveries new

instruct with loving guidance

she sits

hoping to grasp

if even a single moment

days turn to months

she cannot will time stop

each day seems steal sanity

little by little

yet surely there is a single moment

she sits

reminded faults teach forgiveness

grace and mercy too

finding triumph in the small

place to learn in the failure

knowing strength comes

only in Him

trust only Him

she smiles

all is not lost

weary and tired seem define all

yet there is beauty

He makes all things beautiful in there time

for some moments it is now

so this title comes not effortless

yet a most fulfilling call

she is Mother

____________________

I wrote this simply because I find myself many times wondering how I'm going to make it through each moment - the sticky fingers, the food thrown every where, the sparkling eyes asking "Did you really draw that line?" as a finger reaches out, the fussiness because of teeth cutting, the whining when something doesn't happen how she thinks or wants it to - to live and tell the next. Oh and did I mention that sometimes I completely see the horror of the moms you see on the news flash before my eyes in moments of sheer anger? And I can see me being that mom if I wasn't depending on God and reminding myself that I am the adult, not the child who needs instruction? (Yes. Maybe I am bold for typing that out on here, but my guess is that if you have kids or work with them consistently, some of you can completely relate to this.) Let me be clear that these are only horrid day dreams. I have not and will not, by God's continued grace and practicing healthy anger dispelling techniques, harm my child.

Thankfully, I'm learning to laugh at those moments. And truly see that we all still have that little child inside of us, she just actually acts it out because she knows no better. It helps me to look at it in a different light, sometimes giving me ideas on how to help her learn a different behavior. Or a better way to handle all those crazy emotions that she has yet to know what to do with them.

I also wrote this because I wanted to have a reminder for myself that though the days seem long and nights too short, it will all soon pass away. If I'm not careful to find the beauty in each moment of every day, I'm going to miss out on some of the best memories I could form with my daughter. And if I can't form that habit with the first, I find myself realizing that it will be even more a struggle to enjoy the moments if other little blessings make their way into our home. And if they don't, well then I will have missed out all together on what may be my only child.

Maybe this makes sense. Maybe it doesn't, but I needed to let the words take shape and form, even if it is the roughest poetry.

I sit reminded just how full and fully blessed my life is.