Announcement Q's

So there are a couple of Q's I'm always asked when I tell someone that I'm expecting. Considering I wanted to leave yesterday's announcement solely to Zoë, I decided to answer those questions in a post today.

When are you due? The EDD I've been given is February 12, 2014. I'm really hoping this baby is a February baby as we have no February birthday's in our family. I always like the idea of adding another month to our calendar. Also, this means that Zoë and Baby D will be almost 2 years apart. 23 months, to be exact. (That is, if I get that hoped for February b-day.)

How are you feeling? Well, not so great. Yet, I'm trying to see the positive in it that usually a nausea and fatigue filled beginning of pregnancy mean a healthy baby. It definitely means that I have plenty of pregnancy hormones. My doctor, thankfully, has given me Zofran as on the days the nausea is bad I can barely keep down toast. I can't keep down bananas and there are couple of foods that make me nauseated just by their smell. Oh and don't get me started on other non-food related smells. Pregnancy nose? You'd think I'm 10 blood hounds put together. I'm hoping that this part of the pregnancy will pass soon so that I can be a bit more active with Zoë.

Unfortunately, insomnia has no positives in pregnancy. And I have a lot of it. I recently read that some naturally caffeine free teas can help. Looks like I'll be going to the grocery store and hoping that I can stomach it. (Yes, even though I have Zofran, I'm really trying my best to really save it for the really bad, can't look at toast days. I'm grateful that the nausea is starting to get better, but it's not completely gone and takes me by surprise some days. That's a lot of fun. *cough* NOT *cough* I don't take it daily because I'm not a huge fan of meds in pregnancy so I really try to keep anything to a minimal. I promise I'm not a masochist. I'm not a fan of meds when I'm not pregnant.)

Are you finding out the gender? Yes. We are. However, we have gone back and forth on deciding whether we will keep the gender to ourselves until D-day or if we will go ahead and announce it to everyone. More than likely we will be sharing what this tiny bundle is, but only time will truly tell if we decide to change our minds or not. We still have almost two months before we find out. Lots of time to change our minds. And then change them back again. Ha!

Are you showing? Well, if you ask those who are not me, they will tell you yes. And while I am showing a wee bit, I'm honestly under the belief (and let's face it, this is my body) that most of my "bump" right now is bloat. I will start posting pics with my first bumpdate next Monday. I'll go ahead an tell you here that my actual "weekly change" day is Wednseday. However, originally, by LMP, we thought that my day would change on Sunday. Perfect day to take a picture because I am almost always "dressed" up for church and actually have some make up put on. So I started taking pictures on Sunday, thinking I was at least 7-8 weeks along. And then we found out that everything hadn't completely gone back to "normal" after the miscarriage, I wasn't as far along as we thought (by almost two weeks. HA!) AND the day of change is Wednseday. Oops! So because I like knowing I'll look decent (read: I'll know for sure I've showered and have at least mascara on :), we're going to keep the bumpdate on Monday with a picture taken on Sunday. (Maybe I'm crazy, but I've generally never posted on a weekend, unless for a link-up challenge, and I kind of like to keep it that way. A little different? Yes. OCD? Umm...if you didn't know that you are probably new to my blog. I think I talk about my many different OCD problems around here consistently....maybe I don't and I think I do, but it's definitely there. hehe) I will say I'm pretty sure I'm showing more for this baby than I did with Zoë, which means the "warm-up" effect is definitely in action.

Do you want a boy or a girl? Actually, I probably should have phrased it this way: "Are you hoping for a boy?" I guess people assume that maybe since I have a girl, I would want to have a boy so I have one of each. Not really sure why it's phrased that way but here is my response:

Honestly, when it comes down to the wire, I want and ask God for a 100% healthy baby. Gender aside. Because at the end of the day, it isn't about gender to me. It is about loving and guiding and teaching each little addition we are given and hopefully raising them in a way that they will become a God-fearing, sold-out-to-Jesus man or woman.

But, if I had my pick of gender, I would want a girl. I'll be honest, having a boy intimidates me a bit more. People who have boys talk about how many times they think they are "easier" in that their difficulty usually lies in all the hustle and bustle. Girls, well they're emotional. However, as hard as it is some days, I don't mind working through all the emotions a tiny human girl has and it isn't daunting to me the thought of all the possibilities we will deal with as she gets older. Also, if you've stuck around my blog, you know that I'm very much a home body, low-key exercise type of person. Yes, the "hustle and bustle", full of endless energy scares me a bit. Plus, it's uncharted territories, and if you know me even a smidge it doesn't take long to find out that I am very slow to warm to change. I mean v-e-r-y s-l-o-w.

Plus, the relationship will be totally different if we have a boy, than if we have another girl. I think the opportunity for stronger bonds to be formed are there if we have another girl. Not that strong bonds can't be formed between a sister and brother, I think the opposite is true - there is just a much potentional for a great relationship. Yet, even with that potential, it will still never be the same as a sisterly bond would produce and I would love for Zoë and this baby to have that opporunity. Please also note, I am under no assumptions that, whether boy or girl, these two will be best friends. They may not be. But it is my full desire and intent to try and help foster a great reltaionship and hope that God will bless them with such.

HOWEVER, all that aside, like I said, and I will say over and over again, I really just want and ask for a healthy baby. And I pray that should this baby have some disability or health journey of any sort, I would depend on God in the same way for this child as I have been striving to do with Zoë.

Are you excited? I am honestly just really beginning to allow myself to feel the excitement. With the recent miscarriage (You can also read more posts baring my emotions if you read the posts labeled miscarriage.), it has taken me up until now to really even feel excited, let alone let myself feel it when it starts to creep up. After losing a baby, the realization you have no control over the life growing within takes a heavy presence and presents a crazy opportunity to trust or run from God. I am grateful to say that by His grace alone I have done the prior. Every moment I find myself worrying about that which I cannot control, He has whispered scripture in my ear and reminded me that even as we walked that path, He was then and always will be good. It is His nature. Graciously, He has allowed us to make it this far. And I realize what a huge blessing it is: to still be carrying the baby. So part of me has held back, but most of me has been overjoyed with the another opportunity to be in this place. To be granted, for the time being, to care for another tiny blessing. So long answer short, yes and no I am excited. And I'm not sure that it will change until I hear the cries and hold that perfectly wrinkled pink flesh in my hands while hearing the words, "Congratulations!" come from the hospital staff. Because though I will love this baby as though I know they will be joining us in the months to come, I also know that I have no guarantee, thus the waging war between fear and excitement. (Just keepin' it real, you guys!)


Well, that's a wrap. Those are the typical, "Oh, you're expecting!" Qs I get. Be looking for the weekly bumpdates starting next Monday!