Wordless Wednesday v. 5

I give you the world's smallest banana.

Just some food for thought :)

It's Never Been THIS Messy...

...in my home (That's the hubs telling a friend we're moving).

I'm not 100% sure we have enough boxes :)

What do you think?

There and Back Again

Grrr... I am married to a LOTR enthsiast and I can't change my post title now because I don't know what else to call it. But I want to because I'm in no way trying to refer to LOTR. If you don't follow me, good.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like LOTR. I just don't know all the ins and outs of it. I don't read the encyclopedia of arda so I can understand it better and know everything there is to know about the world J.R.R. Tolkien imagined.

Oh...this wasn't even where I was going to go with all this.

This post is supposed to be about our trip to Texas.

I was off the radar for the last few days because we took a two day trip to scout out our new home.

That wasn't easy to type. I'm still struggling to grasp this.

To grasp the fact in several days my physical home is moving to Texas. 

My daughter could possibly be a Texan. By the way, I don't think that's bad. Just strange.

I'm packing up our belongings here to take them to Texas.

Texas. Texas. TEXAS...

As if the state isn't large enough to take up a majority of the southern portion of the U.S. it has now taken residence in my brain.

I don't like change. Even if it is for the best. And I completely believe that it is.

Well, how is this for being transparent on a blog?

Alright...I'm gonna get this done. I'm gonna tell you about our trip.

Ok, so on Thursday we left for good ol' Texas where I immediately found out, as in within the first  5 minutes of crossing state lines, Ben will likely wear out the old adage "Everything is bigger in Texas." And I must say, there really are many aspects that seem bigger.

We arrived safely and in good time.

After a quick lunch we began our search.

Unfortunately for us, we started out at the top pick. It was like telling a dog he can have a bone but setting it where it's just out of reach for him. It was within reach until the gal handed us the paper breaking down the cost. They require their residents to pay for cable and for valet trash. We don't want cable and we can walk our trash to the dumpster ourselves (not that it wouldn't be nice to have someone do it for me). We left with our heads hung and attempting to crunch numbers down to the wire to see if it would work. We also left trying to remain open minded if we couldn't.

We went to two other complexes. One was too expensive. 

The other. Oh, the other. I thought we were resigned to living there though I was not happy about it at all. I knew it would be a humbling experience for me if that was where God provided for us. Because I had no clue how on earth our belongings would fit in there.

But I chose to hope and pray that that wouldn't be where we would be moving.

By the time we had viewed those three properties it was too late to go to another.

And my hopes were coming close to being shattered. I was very deflated.

We woke up hoping we might possibly strike a deal with property #1. But also knowing we would go to look at two more properties.

The first property we went to was a breath of hope. Not better than #1 but only a slight notch below in that we would lose around 100 sq ft, the kitchen wasn't open like at #1, and the rent was only about $15 more than #1 if that darn property wouldn't tack on stupid extras.

The final property we went to...well, it was pretty beat up and no cheaper than all the others. Without so little talking my mom (she went with us :]) thought maybe we shared an ESP moment.

So we headed back to property #1. Hoping for the best possible outcome. They refused. Apparently a lot of people hate that stipulation and try to get them to cut those options out of the lease. However, their company wasn't the orignal leasee and "[they] have to pay it no matter what."

Adios to #1.

We went back to #4 and filled out an application.

Pretty sure we have it in the bag, but I'm still nervous. I guess because for now I'm not 100% sure of where we will be laying our heads.

Anyway, that is how our trip went. I'm pretty sure we will enjoy living in Houston. I'm just trying to soak it all in.

And by the way, our baby did B-E-A-UUUTIFUL on the trip. I'm talking max of an hour total fussing in the total of 10+ hours in the car. She was such a trooper. I was so proud of her especially knowing she isn't the biggest fan of being in the car for ours. I will say my mom helped a lot and Zoë loved having a backseat mate for the ride. I love my little girl. to. pieces.

Apartment Hunting

I'm out 'til Monday folks.

We're headed to Katy to look at apartments. Hopefully sign a lease on one.

Prayers would be much appreciated. Especially for the little one who isn't quite a fan of being strapped down for hours.

See you all Monday!

Patience

You think you have it until God allows some test to be thrown your way. I'm sure it's one of Satan's favorite games. At least it's his favorite to play with me right now: how much patientce does Megan really have?

It is my biggest fault when it comes to properly responding to my child when she's pitching a fit or continues to have a crying session for no known reason to man. It's definitely not a pretty picture when I'm fatigued.

However, I do notice God is working. The times I respond of myself are becoming more rare. The times I respond where I know it had nothing to do with me grow. I am absolutely certain part of it is prayer. I have a wonderful group of gals here who I've been updating on a weekly basis and know many of them are praying. I'm also sure it is partly God giving me grace and allowing me to close my eyes and pray where I normally would have some horrible outburst because I lose my patience.

Though I know God will always be perfecting me in this area, it is such a peace of mind knowing I can already see his hand on this area of my life.

2 YEARS!!

Yep. Yep. Yeppers!

2 years with my wonderful, charming, geeky/nerdy (I call him both though I think he only claims the nerd description :) BTW, said proof of nerdiness is in the picture above. He knows biblical Hebrew [the language has changed, as most languages do over time, since then] and made sure they were correctly emblazoned on us for the rest of our lives), tall, red headed (Yes, don't you dare question me on that. It may be darker red, but he is a red head nonetheless. The color red some people would die for.), blue/grey/yellow/green that look blue (Don't question me on that, either. And please don't get close enough to him to figure it out. Just trust me on this one.) eyed, freckled, goofy, sweet man.

I'm not really sure where all the time has gone. Though I can say one thing:

He's definitely kept the "in sickness and in health" part of our vows.

I wasn't really blogging at the time two big illnesses slammed me. But he took care of me, even if by way of making sure someone was home so he could work. One of the times was through the longest week and a half of my life due to what was chalked up to nothing more than pure, ol', bonified vertigo. (I'm really glad that's what they decided because the other option was a life-long autoimmune illness that, though isn't unbearable and definitely liveable, was nothing that I wanted on my health record.) However, it was so bad I couldn't. even. crawl. I literally fell out of bed with a THWOMP onto the floor as though I'd fallen out in my sleep. I felt the effects of it (the vertigo) for weeks. I still get touches of it at times too.

And he cared for me like none other.

Then not four short months later, he was by my side at the hospital waiting to find out just what was wrong with me since a CT scan didn't show my appendix, which the doctors were so puzzled by because they were sure I was suffering from appendicitis.

Some many hours, two very fatigued people, and one severely bruised arm (two words: bad nurses) later, I was whisked away into surgery because the CT came back negative (YAY!) and the Ultrasound came back showing all my female organs were aok (YAY! But what the heck is wrong with me?!). Come to find out, my appendix was playing hide and seek with us. It needed to go. So much so it was almost ready to burst.

All of that was in the first 6 months of our marriage. 

Seriously.

I have the best. ever.

I hope that's not a foretelling of our future. I mean, our first two years have been anything but "normal" by the American dream standard. Though, I'm really glad. I'm kind of growing "out of love" (I use that term loosely because true love is a 100% bonified choice that comes with really, really good feelings and really, really horrible feelings [horrible because we're human, fallen, and perfectly imperfect]) with the American dream. (I will need to expound on that a different day.) I'm falling more in love with a God who has a completely different idea of what life should be like for me. And my family.

And now that I think about it, maybe I do want that to be a foretelling of our future. Because what it means is that we will continue to follow and serve a wonderful God who walks with us every step of our journey together.

And I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather share that journey with. THIS journey, actually. The one I'm in right now.

Though I don't hope for bad things to happen, I certainly can say we have both grown through the ups and downs of this shin dig, albeit short as it is. Well, I know I have and, if it's not out of line for me to speak for him, I'm pretty sure he'd say the same. Trust me, I know I'm no easy person to live with.

I'm so blessed to have him. Sometimes I'm not even sure it's real. 

Love you more today than ever, Ben! Thanks for being exactly the man God intended to place in my life. You're worth every moment of every day. I'm so blessed to call you mine. Though we might spend our celebration time just enjoying the fact you're over whatever it is you're sick with, that's worth it to me :) A reminder that all that matters is striving to love one another in a way that calls us up.

I will always see you as my better half!

Happy 2 years!

Meggers

Memory Monday v. 15

I want to cherish for a lifetime...

...how you sang in church yesterday. I had to come get you out of the nursery because, between teething and separating anxiety, you just didn't last all service. I had an inkling it would happen. The minute I picked you up you seemed ok. A little shaken, still recovering from crying (I took forever to get to you because my phone lost service :(), but happy to be in my arms. I decided we would be fine going back in the service because they were singing. The minute you realized what was going on, you started your singing coo. And kept singing with them. Even the people sitting behind us told me, after service was over, I have a singer :).

 I can't wait to actually hear Zoë sing with words. Anytime she starts singing or wakes up singing I picture Boo from Monsters, Inc. Of course, I'm kind of excited about the fact I will be able to make little pig tails like hers one day, too. Put the two together and I think I have a world's cutest sweetie :) (Yeah, yeah...I know I'm severely biased.) My biggest prayer is that I will hear her little voice worshiping Jesus. Nothing sweeter to my *future* ears!

Five Question Friday

It's Friday. I'm tired. I need and want an easy post. Not sure I'm so in with the questions, but I figured this could be a fun post. So here is my answers to five question friday.

1) Where do you hide junk when people come over?

Honestly, I typically don't hide it. Either it stays pretty messy or I actually clean. I'm not an inbetweener because I can't stand decluttering a closet or wherever else I might find to stash clutter.

2) Do political ads help you decide who you are going to vote for?

Nope. I hate political ads. I'm not a big fan of politics to begin with.

3) What's your favorite holiday party to host?
Never hosted one. If I do one day, and I'm thinking I will, then I would guess some sort of Christmas gathering. Espeically if it's a white elephant party. SO FUN!

4) You go to an island with your husband and can only take one personal item. What is it?

Does the island have supplies already there? Cuz if so, that could totally make it an easy shot at what I'd take...actually, no it wouldn't. Well...ummm...maybe baby shampoo & body wash (you know, the all in one). Then it works for hair and keeps the body clean. And maybe when I get desperate I'll clean my mouth with it too?
I'm not a big fan of only one personal item...

5) If you found out your spouse was a Dexter style serial killer (only kills people to save others) would you rat?
Gah, I'm conflicted. I would hate that he was a serial killer but I wouldn't want to rat on him. I'd have to be in the situation to know what I'd do. I'm gonna say, though, that my high justice would win out and I'd rat him. I'd talk with him first. And then maybe I'd be dead before I had a chance. HA!

A Little Girl from Texas

That is what Zoë will be, at least for a year.

And it is causing me significant stress right now.

I just need to give it to God.

I guess I should fill you in on what is going on over here in our household. I don't know if you remember this post where I talked about my dreams of my hubby having a solitary job. Well, it's coming true. Not exactly within the time frame I was thinking when it came to finding a home wherever it relocated us, if it did, but a solitary job nonetheless.

As of November 12th, he will start work in Texas.

That's right. We're moving to good ol' Texas.

However, if you notice the date, that's in a little more than 3 weeks. And if we move the way Hubs wants to, we'll be moving in T minus 3 weeks. He'd like for us to all move at the same time and get there just a few days before he has to report to his new spot.

That date is looming over my head. I'm trying to not let it, but it happens. It happens where I can feel my heart begin to palpitate and my brain feel like it's going to explode. Because I worry about what I cannot control and become overwhelmed by the work that this requires. With a teething baby in the mix.

Thankfully, Hubs is very understanding.

All this to say that my little bit will be known as a little girl from Texas. At least for a year. Maybe longer.

Guess it's a good thing we bought her some pink cowgirl boots :)

Strong Will, Anyone?

There are times I become self conscious when it comes to people asking me if Zoë is always so mild mannered. I'm even self conscious when I tell them I have a little sass on my hands. I know I'm this way because I care a bit too much about what other's think of me (aka I care too much about other's approval), when I really should be sure of myself and my mothering skills. Not to mention my motherly intuition.

I'm a very intuitive person, as it is. However, that has been magnified x10 when it comes to my mothering radar. Yet, my insecurities seem to leave my knees shaking when I make an observation regarding my daughter.

Well, all this to say it was really nice to have my sister here when Zoë began to pitch a fit. She was fine until she dropped the toy she was playing with, instantly decided she didn't like that it was well out of reach (it being on the floor and she being in my arms up in a chair), and threw herself backward. (Praise God I know she does this and have developed a very strong, very quick reflex in responding to these fits) I immediately set her down in her pack 'n play to cry for a bit because she doesn't calm down unless she has the toy back in her hands; there is no way I'm going to even possibly nurse this bad habit. Before I even said anything about what was going on, Laura looked at me with a very surprised look. What she said after comforted me more than anything:

"Wow...you're gonna have your hands full."

That statement can be a little scary when I think about it. But the more I realize it isn't in my control, God has given me a strong willed child to grow me in ways I wouldn't be able to otherwise, and if I lean on him, training her to use that for good will ultimately be much easier to me than trying to teach someone who is so laid back they just go with the flow. I've got to choose to see the positive in this, otherwise I think I could go ahead and keel over.

Please don't get me wrong. Zoë is a very sweet baby. And most of the time she really is extremely well behaved for a baby. It just can send my blood pressure through the roof in .001 second when she does pitch a fit. It also, ironically, makes me feel quite helpless.

And when someone observes her very good behavior and asks if she's always like that, I feel like I blush tomato red because I feel like they won't believe me when I say she's got a little 'tude.

The Sillyness...

...I call my husband. Though I can't always post what he says because I forget most of it, today I happened to capture a wonderful picture of said sillyness.

Behold the wonder of a 32 pack :)

Bahaha! I still laugh just thinking about it.

We had purchased a few more ice trays so it would be easier for me to make multiple baby foods in a fell swoop. When we arrived home, Ben started cleaning some of the dishes in the sink and I handed him the trays to add to it. He immediately took one and shoved it up his shirt, "Ever seen an 8 pack?" he asked.

I couldn't help but laugh because 1) he counted only half of the cube slots and 2) it was funny. He then decided that wasn't enough and shoved a second one up his shirt.

I love how I never know just exactly will come out of him. Keeps me on my toes and keeps me laughing :)

7 Months

Time flies way too fast. That statement might get old for everyone, but I'm just continually in disbelief how close we're getting to a year. We're past half way now and it still feels so surreal.

There are still moments I check my blind spot while driving only to be startled by the sight of a sun-guard in my line of vision or part of the car seat. I still step on toys strewn across the floor and have to remember, like I brought her home yesterday, that I have a child. I lose objects all the time and at times can't remember why I've had more difficulty remembering information here lately when she starts talking or crying and I'm jolted back to reality.

This

is my wonderful life now. And she is why it has changed in an oh-so-drastically-wonderful way.

(on a total side note: I use AF instead of MF on my point and shoot because I can't get it to focus properly. Is this normal to have that much difficulty getting it to focus? Any tips or should I just continue to let the camera do that job?)

I seriously can't get enough of her sweetness you guys! Her personality continues to blossom daily. Sometimes in not so wonderful, horribly stubborn (yet I know they will be an asset eventually) kind of way. However, it generally is in watching her make new discoveries, reach a new milestone, or portray a new characteristic.

My newest favorite is she likes to take my hand and place it on her leg or side while she's nursing. Sometimes she'll even have me pat her with it by using her hand to make mine do so. She has such a sweet spirit. It makes the times I'm working with her through her stubborn fit pitchings seem that less of a task.

Gah, I can't quit looking at the picture and thinking she's mine. All. mine.

I love her. So, so much!

7 Month Stats

• wearing size 6-9 month and 9 month clothes now. There are a few 6-12 month jackets or onesies that don't quite fit you, but they're not so big that you can't wear them.
• I'm not really sure what size shoe you wear because there are a few size 2 shoes that don't fit and several that are still slightly too big. But size one shoes seem to small. Maybe all the shoes are sized a little differently?
• You are on a pretty consistent on wanting to breast fed 4 times a day. There are the occasional days where you squeeze in a 5th or even a 6th feeding but those are rare and usually you just need the extra close-close mommy time :)
• You eat 3 solid meals a day. You have decided that avacado is no longer on the menu. I'm not really sure what happened there. Maybe because it is the most bland of all the foods you eat. You have added apples, peaches, plums, and pears to your menu. We're in the process of making sure prunes are ok, which I would assume they are considering they are only dried plums. Next up will be bananas.
• You are working on your fine motor skills of picking up smaller objects. I like to let you practice with puff treats. Every now and then I will put one in your mouth and depending on your mood you like it or hate it. Needless to say I don't think finger foods are just around the corner, but it sure is cute watching you practice.
• By my guess you weigh at least 17.5 pounds now. And I'm gonna say you've grown 1/4 to 1/2 inch considering you've outgrown 6 month clothes.
• You say "mama" on a consistent basis now but your favorite time to say it is when you are crying and you want me. Daddy usually comes to find me with a look like "I can't help her any more, she wants you" look.
• Daddy and I concurred this morning that you sing. A lot. You talk a lot to but there are times when you coo and we're pretty sure you're singing :) Can't wait until there are actual words being sung by that precious, little voice!
• You are now very aware of object permanence and have a touch of separation anxiety from me. It was most obvious about three weeks ago after I had volunteered at Rhea Lana's. We were at Gigi and Poppa's when I handed you over to dad so I could go get something. Without letting me get even two feet away from you, you started crying. I kept walking not realizing what was going on until Gigi pointed out you were following me with your eyes and crying. It's sweet to know you want me (I have to soak it in now because I know the day will come when you won't want me in that way).
• This also causes problems when I need to take something away from you. Usually you're ok if we trade objects, but there are certain ones you don't like to trade (i.e. my cell phone). 
• I wrote a post about it earlier this week, but you're rolling everywhere now. I can't leave you alone for long before I hear you crying for me because you're stuck under the couch, or a leg is caught under the recliner, or you're even completely under the pack 'n play.
• Not that you haven't done this in the past, just that it has become more purposeful: you reach out to touch my cheek with your hand now and look into my eyes.
• You sit up by yourself though you can't get to a sitting up position without help and this bugs you
• You sleep straight through the night which is usually from 730ish to 7am sometimes it's 7-7

My Sweet Little Lady,

Not a day doesn't go by that I'm sure I tell you I love you a million times. God is growing me so much in so many good ways because he has blessed me with you. I wouldn't trade it for a million years.

The more time we spend together, the more I am able to respond to you in a way that meets your need. There are still many times I feel like it's all guess work but I do feel like those times are less and less.

I know I will not be a perfect mommy, no one is, but I know that as long as I continue to seek God he will help me to be exactly the mommy that you need. I just hope that I use my imperfections as opportunities to point you to your Heavenly Father who is perfect and the meaning of this life.

You bring such joy to both daddy and me! Often times (and this time is no different), words do not do justice.

I love you fiercely, sweet girl! (And your daddy does too!)

Mommy

I couldn't do a 7 month post without photos :) Especially since I didn't get to last month.

 This is how the monthly "see how I'm growing" photo went

 See? It wasn't so easy to get...

at. all.

...but I did get it...sort of.

Oh how I love her! This was a test pic and I'm SO MAD I had the camera this tilted. Oh well.

The boots caused quite a bit of distraction.

but I caught this cute pic because of it :)

They taste good too.

Those blue eyes...I'm gonna have to not look at them when I'm disciplining...

Just a talkin' away.

Before the boots found the mouth. So darn cute!!

Ben is looking into purchasing a shot gun ;)

(side note: I wish I had an actual backdrop, but this is what worked in our backyard. Kind of don't mind the look it gave the photo, though it wasn't what I was going for.)

I'm stuck! I'm stuck! MOMMY!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure my daughter would be saying that a lot right now if she were able. It only comes out in cries though. Cries for help.

You see, I'm not really sure of when it started, but it's dawned on me that she is now rolling around the room. And that includes getting stuck under the couch or the pack n' play. Here's some cute proof (you know before she realized she was stuck):

 So the lighting wasn't the best, but hey. She's still a doll, I'd say. 

 I just can't get enough of her sweet chubbiness. Especially those cheeks. Sometimes I want to be like the grandma you can't stand when they say hi because they just have to pinch your cheeks :) I resist though.

 Those faces. Oh how I love those faces!

"You know, Mom, I could care less about getting water. This cup is GREAT for teething."

I've also caught her over at a wall where we have electronic appliances plugged in. Guess this means I can't just leave her alone in the middle of a room anymore.

So I say: Let the fun begin!

The Cutest Little Laugher

Oh how my sweet pea makes me laugh! Her personality is unfolding more and more and laughter just happens to occur quite a bit. Melts. my. heart! Makes me laugh too. Just thought I would share.

Sorry she's off in the corner. It was in hopes I would be able to capture her laughing...and I DID!

Memory Monday v.14

I want to cherish for a lifetime...

...the way you tell me you love me: you place your tiny hand on my face and gaze into my eyes, smile oh so sweetly at me, and at times even start cooing.

I love my baby.

Yep. That's all I have to say (because if I say more I'm sure I could fill hundreds of pages with ramblings and I want to keep those sweet ramblings to myself in the place my mommy heart has for them).

Monday Mayhem

Actually, the mayhem seems to be all in my brain.

I'm not quite sure what exactly is going on up there.

I'm not even too sure what has happened with my day.

I know I've spent it caring for my daughter. I know I went grocery shopping and stopped at Whole Foods for come carob chips. I know that by the end of it I will have given Zoë three solid meals and breastfed her somewhere in the neighborhood of 4 to 6 times.

My life is caring for a child. That is about all I can really say for myself these days. And I'm ok with that.

Maybe one day soon I will be able to sort through my mind enough that I will be able to share the lessons I have learned and/or am learning along this journey.