Praying for Him: His Health

I find myself lacking words for this post. Ironically, I actually read the chapter and found myself praying on multiple occasions regarding Ben's healthy.

However, I think I'm at a loss is because Stormie opens this chapter talking about how she would suggest a daily exercise or workout routine to her husband, who wanted nothing to do with it. So she prayed.

The minute I read those words I began feeling slightly guilty.

Thus, I had to do some soul searching.

Was the guilt there because I wasn't regarding the Spirit speaking to my heart or I was wishing for something different other than I have right now?

After working myself through it, while continuing to pray for general health for Ben, I realized the guilt was more of the latter. (Feeling guilty over things of which I shouldn't - ie strong, bibilical convictions that make someone else feel uncomfortable - occurs a lot with me, causing me to have to look within myself and really dissect it. Though it's a weakness, I also find that it's giving me a strength to really take time to seek God and have Him show me my heart and what does or doesn't need to be changed.) It was more of the latter because at this time in our lives, true, daily exercise routines that are at the peak of benefit for us are just not realistic.

For Ben it would mean he was up at 3:30/4 am OR missed out on time with Zoë and myself once he arrived home.  For myself, I would have to get up by 4:30/5 so I could be done before Ben left for work or go out in the ridiculous heat of the day (Ummm..no!) with Zoë (Double NO!). And by the end of the day, I'm in not shape to even think about exercising.

So while I do dream of the day that we can actually have a legit work out routine, I let go of praying that Ben would "work out" and asked that God would grant us the motivation to at least stay active, take family walks, play tag with Zoë (And if you don't believe me, this can be quite a work out. Almost like mini sprints :), and continue to watch what we eat.

As long as we do that, for the time being, I feel we are doing everything in our power to take care of the physical bodies we have been given. And I feel completely at peace asking that God protect the rest of our health.

Thus I found myself asking on several occasions that God would grant Ben's rest to leave him feeling rested and rejuvinated for the day to come. I found myself asking God that I would do a better job to try to work in some form of "exercise" daily with Zoë, both in efforts to get us out of the home and in effort to teach her good habits. I heard my heart quietly ask that our bodies be guarded against any communicable diseases. And I hoped and prayed that niether of us would see a day where either of our bodies were wracked with some horrible disease that left any of us not as we were.

And that no matter what, we would willingly go down whatever road He leads us on and allow Him to use it for His glory.

Thankfully, what started with guilt ended with feeling uplifted about this phase in our lives and the different ways we can still care for ourselves even if it isn't what I picture as ideal. And hopefully, this will remain a habit so that as we enter different phases we are creative about beginning to work in an actual exercise routine to complement the way we eat and live the rest of our lives.

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Over a 30 week period, which I started with an intro on May 1st, I will be doing a weekly series where I talk about my journey through Stormie Omartian's Power of  a Praying Wife. I felt led to pray for my husband, wanted to incorporate the book, but knew that doing a 30 day challenge was next to impossible. (Let's face it: life with a baby just-turned-Toddler changes and there are still nights with many wake up calls due to teething or illness. I'd already tried once and failed.)  So this series was born as a way to share, encourage, and hold me accountable to the commitment I made. I'll keep a list of links for the series on each post so you can easily access them all. Enjoy!

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Week 11: A Confession  Week 12: His Choices

Frankly Friday v. 7

Linking up with Amy for Frankly Friday :)



Ahh. Alas, it is Friday. I'm not even sure why I care because that means nothing to me. I will wake up and be a mommy all over again tomorrow.

Oh wow...I'm kind of complaining about that. Maybe writing a post when my eyes are heavy and my head wishes for a pillow isn't such a great idea. Because truth told, I love being a mommy. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But just like any good ol' job, there are bound to be moments my humanness (is that a word? Oh well...I just made it one if it isn't.) comes out and I complain about the lot I'm living.

Just keepin' it real.

Because something that has crossed my mind a lot lately is how little days of the week, or even holidays for that matter, really mean to me. Typically, if you were to ask me what day it was, I'm not going to know unless I've had a prior engagement or some kind of appointment to keep.

You guys, I'm being so serious that I have a wonderfully, funny story to share with you about July 4th.

Because well, as stated above, days of the week and holidays aren't on my radar on a consistent basis. I guess this means that I'm only going to keep up with Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Other holidays just well, let me tell you my little story.

So it's 5 am on the 4th of July. Ben had been seeming like he was getting sick so I banned him to the couch for the night. We didn't want to risk me getting whatever it was. (Maybe we're weird. We're weird.) Even though I'd banished him from our room, I'd forgotten to turn off the alarm. Why on earth would I want to wake up at 5 if he's not in the room? He's old enough to know to set his phone alaram, right?

Either way, I forgot.

So I got an unwarranted, unwanted wake-up call at 5 am.

Silence from the living room.

I fall back asleep after punching the snooze button.

I wake 10 minutes later to still see pitch black from out my bedroom door. I hear no sounds coming from the bathroom. And I still haven't heard a single sound from the living room.

Being the good wife that I am, I took it upon myself to groggily make my way out of bed and moan at Ben that he should be getting up. Right now! He moaned some response and semi-started moving.

I thought that maybe it was his normal morning slowly waking up routine and frustratingly shuffle back to bed to cozy under the covers and try to enjoy another hour of sleep.

By this point, I've forgotten that I've already reset the snooze on the alarm. And anger ensues the next time it goes off.

I have no. grace. for him now. I move myself to the living room as fast as possible. The second I'm next to the couch, I immediately bark, "Do you KNOW what TIME it is?! You're going to be late for work! Why didn't you set an alaram for yourself!?!?!"

He rolls over. Stares at me. And figures out that I'm crazy because, "Megan...it's the 4th of JULY!"

HELLO?!? Earth to Megan? Are you even aware that many workers are given the day off for this should-never-be-forgotten holiday? Where has your brain gone since you've entered the land of mommyhood?

Yep. That happened. Just a few short weeks ago. (And now I'm lamenting the fact that time seems to be flying and yet it's moving at a snails pace. I'm telling you, time is no longer my friend. Wait. Was it ever?)

So back to my point - days and holidays aren't on my radar.

While that isn't necessarily a bad thing, there isn't any great reason that I've lost track. The prideful, look-at-me part of myself wants to be able to tell you it's because I realize that days don't really matter, what matters is keeping my focus solely on Jesus and living every minute I have for Him and the purpose He's placed me here for - to make Him known and declare His glory. To tell you that the reason I forget days is because all I care about is Him, that would be wonderful.

But it's so. not. true.

In fact, it's not even the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. (Jesus, how I need you! How I need you!!)

That is a humbling thought.

And while I'm just processing all this now, some part of me knows it's only the beginning. I'm no where near telling you how this realization is going to change my journey.

What I can say it that I hope I will look back on this and see how God has used this thought process to mold me more into His image. To make me more dependent on Him. To help me remember that every moment I am given is to be used for Him and to constantly be in communion with Him seeking His guidance so those moments truly are for Him and Him alone.

Praying for Him: His Choices

I'm a day late. But I'm still writing about my week of prayer and I'm looking back on what I learned.

I'm gonna count that as a win.

Anyway, the verse that stuck out to me the most through this week was Proverbs 1:7:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;

Fools despise wisdom and instruction. (NASB)

Very familiar, to me at least, yet always power packed. Always a convicting reminder to not live on your own strength, which is essentially what I was praying for Ben this week.

The key points I picked up from this chapter were this:

1. Pray that God will guide your husband's decisions, that the discernment of the Holy Spirit would be given to him. God wants to impart His wisdom to us and when we ask for it we are inviting Him to guide us. Why not ask for it for your husband?
2. There are times your husband will engage in foolish behavior (aka unwise decisions). He's human. Don't try to fix him, that is up to God. Pray and ask God for change to be brought about in those areas.
3. Just because you pray that your husband will have God's discerning spirit doesn't mean that it will happen. Your husband must be willing to follow the Holy Spirit's counsel. However, if you are praying for it, even when bad decisions are made, you can have the peace of knowing you did everything you were able.
4. Your husband's decisions directly affect you and your family. Why not pray that those decisions are godly and made with the wisdom of God?

All the while I was praying for Ben, I found myself asking God that I do the same. That I stay stuned in the the Spirit 24/7 so that everything I do might be backed by Him. I found myself desiring to be a lamp burning bright so that even when Ben seems to lose his way or isn't 100% hearing God's guiding voice, I might be able to help him tune in. I won't be a stumbling block.

The more I read these tiny, power-packed chapters, the more I find myself thinking of how much a team praying alone makes me feel with Ben. I feel even more a team when we pray together, and we earnestly strive to every day, but to do it for him even when he's not around, there is a sense of fighting for your best friend. You, God, and Him.

I don't know about you, but I need that reminder. Many days I need it because my human, fleshly side is winning the battle and I begin to wonder what on earth kind of mess did I get myself into. Yet, if I choose to pray for him, those thoughts flee quickly. Satan can't stand around in the midst of all that. If he tries, he's left standing dumb struck with no power to use against you. His efforts will fail.

And that, my friends, is so worth inviting into your life.

Prayer unites me with the One who has already fought for me and won and it unites me with the one person God intended for me to serve Him with every day that I'm given.

I may need to post that on a mirror or fridge or conspicuous place so that I'm constantly reminded to build this God-glorifying habit... 

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Over a 30 week period, which I started with an intro on May 1st, I will be doing a weekly series where I talk about my journey through Stormie Omartian's Power of  a Praying Wife. I felt led to pray for my husband, wanted to incorporate the book, but knew that doing a 30 day challenge was next to impossible. (Let's face it: life with a baby just-turned-Toddler changes and there are still nights with many wake up calls due to teething or illness. I'd already tried once and failed.)  So this series was born as a way to share, encourage, and hold me accountable to the commitment I made. I'll keep a list of links for the series on each post so you can easily access them all. Enjoy!

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Week 11: A Confession

As Plain As Day

That's right. I'm literally going to bullet out my thoughts for you.

Frankly, because that's all I've got rolling around up in my head anyway.

• I feel my creative juices aren't flowing much these days. Instead I find myself lying around while trying to interact with Zoë. Not much help on the creative scale.
• I'm oober behind on blog reading. And I'm not sure that I'm going to take all the time it will require to catch up. That's probably one of my labels you can use to pin me a bad blogger. But right now, I just am not up for that task. (It's currently at 234. And it's only gonna grow.)
• I'm really ready to feel myself again. I've just not been feeling great and would love to be back to feeling good. It'd be even better if I knew that would be tomorrow. Of course, no one knows when that will be. Oh well.
• Zoë has become a hoot and a little fiesty in these past couple of days. Some of it probably has to do with cutting teeth. (The fiesty part, that is.) 
• I'm grateful that she is back full force. No fever. Only a minor runny nose. (Again, teething.) It just breaks my mommy heart to hear her cry from not feeling well. I could barely even touch her to change her diaper without causing her fever-aching body pain. :( No beuno!
• I'm looking forward to Wednesday of this week because I'm auditioning for the worship team at our church. I've really missed being able to serve in that capacity and hope that it will work out. I'm slightly nervous as I've not regularly played piano in well over a year now. My skills are quite diminished...but I'm hoping that I've retained enough to still play simple worship music.
• I'm pretty sure I did a one-armed wrestling match in my sleep and brutally hurt my left arm. To move it is to wish that I didn't have to. Try lifiting a kid with that lovely addition to your physical strength. Not sure why but I kind of wish I knew what I did exactly. Then maybe I'd know exactly what stretches I need to be doing to work this horrid kink out.
• We have discovered that I have a fellow ice lover in our family. Any time Zoë sees me with a cup of ice she toddles over to my side and starts asking for some. Maybe it's because it's so tiny a sound and her mouth is just as small that I find her crunching ice the cutest thing in the world.
• Some people told me I would dread the day Zoë started walking, yet I've actually truly enjoyed her walking. Yes, she has found a few more things to get into, but she's left many of the old attractions alone. And I love seeing her follow us around. Hearing her walk and talk. Just so much to love about a toddler :) (Yes. It has it's not fun parts, but c'est la vie.)
• Because I've not had the gusto to get up at 6am over the past several weeks, I've also found my time in the word lacking. Not to mention I've fallen off the SSMT 2013 train. I've thought about taking a break from all social media except Twitter - I'm not attached to it like my other forms of social media because I don't have a smart phone, though it's the only one I regularly update - and any internet usage aside from bill pay and my e-mail. I seem to waste time surfing the web with nothing to show for it. Not even on Pinterest, but what can I say. I'm not a heavy pinner. And even then, I don't think that's really worth the time that it sucks away from me. I guess we'll see if I decide to dive head first into this or not.
• I'm quite shocked that I had to order size 2T shirts for my little girl today. She by far doesn't fit the weight range for them. But she fits the length and her 18-24 mo size tops are nearing the too short, show-the-midrift mark. Too. soon. She's only 16 months, for crying out loud! I ordered size 18-24 mo pants, though I'm pretty sure we'll be laughing about those not fitting her waist but being perfect in length. :/ What can I say. The child inherited her bean-pole-as-kids parents' genes. She was doomed to have this kind of a physique. 

Well, that about sums up the majority of what's swimming in my head. I'm hoping to maybe be bit by a creative bug here in the near future. Maybe even feel like I've found my voice, because, honestly, I don't feel like I've quite found my writing niche, but the only way to do so is to keep writing. Maybe I'll dabble in poetry again. Or I've even been inspired by my bloggy friend Amy who wrote this awesome creative post and made me want to dip my toes in the waters of creative writing again.

Hmmm...I kept all my stuff from high school. I just may have to go read through some of those stories and poems...

A Quick Update

So I didn't do my normal Power of  Praying Wife post yesterday. For those of you who missed the posts mentioning it, I drove up to North West AR on Sunday to visit my older sister and her fam, as well as my little sister and her hubby who were also visiting. I drove home yesterday.

I had been planning on writing a short get to know me type of post for yesterday, but I just never got around to it.

And now we're battling full force some illness over here.

My poor little Zo bug has been teething and now is running a fever amongst other maladies. We're going to the doc today to make sure there isn't anything we can do for it. You know, make sure no sinus infection or ear infection. That sort of thing.

Though I'm not a medicine pusher, I'm kind of hoping there is something I can do other than hugs, ibuprofen, and giving her watered down gatorade. It's no fun seeing your baby sick.

Anyway, I'll likely be taking a short hiatus since she's needing a lot of my attention right now and I'm still pretty exhausted myself.

Hope everyone has been enjoying their week and enjoys the finish to it!

Oh, How Wrong Was I?

But, I was wrong. (Well...if that wasn't a bit obvious, but still. Had to try for good measure :)

Because you see, Ben is very sneaky. And very forward.

After our only two real, conversation-invoking encounters, he knew he was attracted. So when I lost my phone, he was quick to hand out his phone.

And boy did God orchestrate which phone I took. I mean, I could have cared less which phone, I just needed one. And both Ben and Shane shoved their phones out for me to use. Yet, I grabbed Ben's.

I thought nothing of it and just enjoyed the company of lots of people as we continued to hang out that afternoon once the move was complete.

And though both of our brains are a little fuzzy on when he first texted me, we do know that there was at least almost a weeks time between his opporutnity to save my number and contacting me. Which was even more reason for me to believe that I had either heard God's voice wrong or Ben wasn't listening to God's voice. Either way, I thought for sure we'd never end up in a relationship.

(Side note: I wasn't pouting or anything over Ben not contacting me. And it wasn't like I had this perfect plan in my mind of how it would work. I just couldn't imagine how if from being around each other those two full days and some throughout the week, including a 2 1/2 hour conversation between just us after the group had gone to a movie, he wasn't asking for my number or trying to find ways to contact me [he was on FB back in those days] so that we could build a friendship, I saw no possibility for a dating relationship ever forming.)

And then sometime in the two weeks after the first move, I got a text. From Ben.

(Ummm...I'm starting to realize how fuzzy dates are and I think I need to correct what I've written in the other posts. We know for sure that we met Super Bowl Sunday in February 2009. However, as I think more about time frame, I'm also thinking that I was wrong in saying we moved his sister early March '09. I'm pretty sure that happened sometime in February. But exactly when, well it's all just some fuzzy dates now that don't matter.)

And we started hanging out. He would ask me over to watch Heroes. And would seek me out when our group of friends were together.

The more he sought me out, the more I knew in my spirit that I had heard God's voice right and indeed we would end up together if we kept pursuing Him.

And then, it happened.

Our church Youth Music & Drama program was putting on a production of Les Misérables. I had asked Ben's sister and her husband to join me and the rest of my family. They said yes and ended up inviting Ben, who also said yes. I had already planned on riding with Ben's sister and since we were all going to be together they asked Ben if he wanted to meet up with us too.

Thus we all enjoyed one another's company to the play, enjoyed the play, and then decided to enjoy some IHOP afterwards.  (Oh, my! Typing that makes me want to go eat there. right. now!) By the time all was said and done, it was midnight when we got back to our cars and were about to head off.

But, Ben just couldn't keep his mouth shut ;) (Since many of you have not met Ben in person, I will elighten you: he is a talker. Much more so than my family likes to joke about me talking. However, I only talk when I'm comfortable. Ben...well, he can orrate long speals to anyone who will listen. And yes, I love and hate him for it :) And so we stood their talking for only God knows how long.

I was getting ready to say I needed to leave when Ben started getting a little awkward with his talking. I stood there wondering if I knew what he was going to say, but just waiting for him to say whetever it was he had to say. At the end of whatever he said, (no...i don't remember everything he said.) he asked me out.

And even though I had sworn I would never (Yeah...don't ever test God with that word. He will prove you wrong.) date anyone again who I hadn't known for longer than and been friends with for two years, I was the happiest girl on the planet in that moment.

Everything became fast after that: a few short months after we'd been dating he told me he loved me, though we have both said that sometimes we wish he'd have waited just a little longer. A few more months and we started talking about the idea of marriage and how that would play out with him finishing school and finding a job. And only 9 months after we started dating (Yep. It was short.), he popped the question, which though isn't a long story, will be saved for a post all it's own.

We planned our wedding over a 10 month period and the rest is history. We'll hit 3 years this coming October. And while marriage is hard and sometimes I want to flee like I'm trying to escape a plague (Just being honest here guys.), I wouldn't trade being married to Ben for the world. I love him more than I did yesterday, and as a general rule of thumb love the memories we make together.

And that is our story.

50 Tidbits About Yours Truly

While you're reading this, I'm enjoying time with my two sisters. And though I wish that our brother could have joined us so that it would have been a reunion of just the siblings, I'm also liking that it's just sister time, too. I was a little bummed that Ben wasn't able to come up with me so that it was all the sisters with their spouses and kids, that would be a first.

Anyway, in effort of keeping it light, and in hopes of letting you get to know me just a little bit better, I'm going to try to give you 50 itemized tidbits about myself that you may not know. Be prepared. This is very, very random.

50.  (Yes. I'm starting at the end. No, not because I have some huge lead up to number one...at least, I haven't thought that far yet. Sorry if that was a big let down, but it's the honest truth :) I'm extremely particular about how my covers are at night in order for me to fall asleep. I've also been known to wake up and have to fix them in the middle of the night. Thankfully, I didn't wake up because they were "messed up". I'm not that weird ;)

49. I had a very sneaky appendix that hid behind my colon and tried to trick my doctor into thinking I didn't need an emergency appendectomy. That could be an entire blog post. It was an all day escapade that ended up with it not being removed until around...oh 1 am I do believe.

48. I do not like my food on my plate to touch if I can help it. That is, for foods that weren't premixed (i.e. casseroles, pasta with the veggies put in it, etc).

47. I love to read and yet lately I'm so tired I tend to veg more with my iPad or computer. Sad days. I may need to do a technology fast.

46. I loathe grocery shopping. So much so that because Ben enjoys going with me, I have no motivation to go during the middle of the week anymore. It accidentally fell on a weekend one time and it hasn't changed since then.

45. My favorite ice cream generally is Blue Bell Vanilla Bean. I'll crave others at times, but on a typical day your plain ol' vanilla bean works just fine for me.

44. I have an off/on love for knitting and crocheting. I recently picked it back up, but...well, see the end of #47. It applies here too.

43. I love the science of the body and have thought about going back to school to get my RN.

42. Out of the many Disney movies we own, my top three are #3 - 101 Dalmatians, #2 - Beauty and the Beast, and #1 - Ratatouille.

41. I have worn glasses since I was twelve and contacts shortly followed.

40. On that note, I wasn't able to wear contacts during my pregnancy with Zoë because my hormones made my eyes dry out. Thankfully, it didn't change my prescription.

39. I used to be a tummy sleeper until I had to start sleeping on my side during pregnancy. Now I'm a half-tummy, half-side sleeper.

38. I only fall asleep on my back if I'm utterly exhausted because I can't stand the way big pillows prop me up and I can't stand the feeling of not enough support.

37. I've been told that I pronounce my "r"s funny at times. However, I don't do this on purpose and cannot reproduce it if asked.

36. I've never had braces, though I did have this stinkin' awful mouth piece that I'm pretty sure made me slighlty look like an alien.

35. My two front teeth are fake. Unfortunately, no cool story behind that, just cosmestically it was the only way to "fix" my teeth. Braces wouldn't have worked.

34. Of all the vegetables that I really enjoy, I have to like one of the ones my husband isn't a fan of. You must understand that you can count on one hand the foods he doesn't like, whilst I'm the complete opposite. But of course, I love broccoli and it's on his hold-my-nose-and-scarf-it-down list. (well...nothing is that bad for him, except apparently brussel sprouts. But, I wouldn't know because I've never seen him eat them.)

33. I eat homemade popcorn so much Ben jokes about me having an addiction.

32. My favortie gummi bears are Haribo gummies. As in, when my sisters ex boyfriend (It's ok. They got back together and now they're married so I'm glad I have this story. Oh and she told us she was fine with us still being friends and really meant it too.) asked if I had any special requests before he came to visit us at the hospital after Zoë's birth, I requested Haribo gummies. Of course! That's a no brainer ;) He made my day. It's really my favorite memory, outside of the epic, can't-ever-be-matched-because-it-solely-belongs-to her birth of my baby who made me a mommy, while we were coming to grips with the fact we were parents. (Um...I still kind of have moments where I am baffled that I'm a mom.)

31. I love the sound of my fingers moving across a key board, like the one I'm typing on now, not an electronic piano with/without weighted keys. I like the sound so much, that I have sat in front of the computer, typing away with nothing in mind sheerly because I love the feel of the keys moving and giving way to the pressure from my finger tips.

30. I've played piano since I was 6 years old.

29. I always tell Ben that the day we can afford one, we will find room in our home to house a piano. My fingers miss their love affair. ummmm...miss their first love. Yeah. That sounds much better. And appropriate.

28. I'm a bit shocked that I rarely touched a piano the first year of Zoë's life. And the reality of how much that made me lose in playing ability has me slightly depressed.

27. I am such a home body and introvert that generally the thought of staying home and doing something around the home by myself is more appealing than getting out of the house to go somewhere.

26. Our fridge is so small that even if I wanted to cook 2-3 nights in a row and then eat left overs, I couldn't. Our fridge can barely fit the normal food plus left overs from one meal. It is the fridge that came with our apartment, so one day that will hopefully be fixed if we're living in the continental US.

25. I prefer to use natural light to brigthen rooms and the home than any artificial lights. There is really only a problem with this during the summer when the sun is so blazing hot, that our home can become a bit warm, too.

24. As much as I love nicknames, I have yet to come up with one that will stick for Ben. Though, Ben is technically a nickname. Technically.

23. Though I don't live with regret over how Zoë's birth story unfolded because I was given a beautiful, healthy baby in the end, and thankfully without a c-section, there is a lot that I wish wouldn't have happened or would have been different that I'm realizing the more and more I think about how it unfolded.

22. I try to keep my 32 oz Nalgene handy most days. I can't stand how I feel if I don't drink at least two of them a day.

21. If I had to pick between milk or dark chocolate, it's gonna be dark. Hands down. So much so that I may decline the offer of milk chocolate. I am pretty sure that I have a slight sensitivity to chocolate and dark doesn't bring it out as much. Though, I'd still rather dark even if I didn't have the sensitivity.

20. I have so many seasonal allergies my family has joked for forever that I'm allergic to air. And I must say that I have joined in with joking about it too.

19. I had a filling abcess on me when I was ten which lead to me needing a root canal. I made it more than 10 years without that tooth being crowned so that I could have it crowned only once. I was quite proud of that accomplishment.

18. I took gymnastics for several years as a kid and quit when I was asked to be on a team. My parents decided me being on a team would be too much. I'm not sure if we just couldn't find a place for me to continue or what, but to this day I wish I had been allowed to compete. (No. This isn't something I've kept from my mom. We've talked about it. No hard feelings. :)

17. I love dance and wish that I would have taken it as a kid.

16. The first car that I drove, well I shared it and our family swagger wagon with my mom, was a black Toyota Corolla that I nick named Yoda the Toyota.

15. I enjoy naming my vehicles, as noted by #16, and call my current Nissan Altima Zeus.

14. I have gone on two seperate mission trips to Trinidad and hope to find a way for my family to go on them, whether local or overseas, as Zoë, and any susequent children we may have, gets older.

13. I frequently forget what day of the week it is. I have no reason to stay on top of that. I even forgot about the 4th of July this year and woke Ben at his normal time and wondered why he ignored me twice until he reminded me of the holiday. Kudos to me!

12. Though it's not common to find me oustide without shoes, you will rarely find shoes or socks on my feet when I'm inside. I'm just not a fan of having something on my feet.

11. I'm not a big fan of high heels. I've always preferred to wear flats and love that flats are becoming more stylish and dressy. And not so old fashioned. (i.e. penny loafers.)

10. I call myself a night owl, though many days with Zoë, or activities like last weeks VBS, have me asking for my pillow by 8:30. However, if I had my wish I'd be able to wake no earlier than 8 am and stay up until around 11 pm.

9. As much as I love this age of digital photography that allows for lots of crappy prints that you don't have to print with really great ones that you can decide to, I sometimes wish it was back to the regular film because then I'd actually print the pictures I want to put in photo albums or frames. Though I have lots of pictures around our home already, it's hard to update them because...well, for one I get attached to the ones up and we don't have room for others, but I also don't ever remember to print those that I'd love to have in a photo album or frame. *sigh*

8. My favorite fountain drink is Root Beer. Well, that or Cream Soda. Oooo...Red Cream Soda. Ok. ok. It's a three way tie. But one of the things I love most, is they all can come caffiene free so I didn't have to give them up when I was preggo with Zo Zo.

7. I think it'd be fun to learn how to sew and to get a monogramming machine and start my own busisness. Then again, I could easily see myself puttering out quickly.

6. My favorite color is blue.

5. I used to not like pink but since having Zoë I can't seem to find much with pink in it that I don't like. Ok, so that's going a bit overboard, but I seem to love pink and could find a way to splash pink into something if I really want to.

4. You will almost always find an extra pony tail holder on my left wrist. I can't stand to not have an extra if I need one. And I've found that sometimes they come in handy for someone else. They were also great for when Zoë was still only crawling but I wanted to put her in a dress. Tie up the back and never think about it again.

3. I turn my phone off during nap time every day. Even if I'm not going to nap, I don't want to be bothered during my peace and quiet that I'm given between 7 am and 7 pm.

2. I have lived in five different states and 7 different cities in my life time. Though some of those were only for a summer.

1. As much of a dog lover/animal lover that I am, these days I have found myself actually thinking how nice it is to not have a pet because then I don't have to worry about who is caring for them when we go out of town or I'm leaving with Zoë and Ben will be working most days. I find this weird that I think this way because I used to care less about having to find someone to care for my pet.

Frankly Friday v. 6

Linking up with the lovely Amy for another Frankly Friday :)

• frankly, all I have for you is a bunch of bullets in looking back on my week. it's been a while since it's only been bullets, so here goes :)
• this week was crazy busy in that I had to get to my church for VBS every day by 8:30. This was a feat, in my opinion, considering I've been exhausted, VBS only increased the latter, and I, on most days, was bringing myself, a 10 year old, and a 16 month old. No, it isn't several kids under the age of 4, but still, I found this to be a God-worked miracle.
• I'm still amazed by how well my Zo Zo is walking. She went from nothing without assistance to almost sheer perfection in a weeks time. And to be honest, apparently she wasn't that wobbly for a "beginner", says many been-there-done-that moms.
• I'm also impressed with the fact that the day she started walking was also the very first day she got herself from sitting to standing without any assistance. It's as if she had calculated all it would take, knew she was ready, and did it.
• This leads me to my next bullet: the complete realization Ben and I have had this week that our child is very calculated in everything she does. If it's going to be done, she wants it to be done right. And she gets very frustrated with herself or with whoever she has deemed worthy of helping her at the time if it isn't done just so. Ben keeps saying she's my child, and though have been like that since I can remember, we were also told that Ben used to be that way with some stuff as a kid. So she may grow out of it...or not.
• I am so excited about going to visit some of my family in NWA! I love getting to spend time. Yay for time with all the sisters together!! (My lil sis and her new hubby are going to be up there too!!!) Bummed our brother can't join us :( We will miss you Jeff!
• That said, I'm hoping the drive tomorrow goes well. Hopefully the swap of Little Miss' car seat from rear to forward facing will help. She seems much more content getting to look out. Maybe this will mean no fussy sessions in the car. I can dream, right?

Annd that's about all my brain is giving me right now. Hope everyone had a lovely week and enjoys their weekend!

Blankety Blank

No. I'm not cussing. Promise.

That is more or less what I feel like my mind is right now.

Blank.

It's like I'm a vegetable.

I'm going to blame the fact that all my energy has been going to my kids at VBS.

It's fun, but man it's wearing.

And so with that said...peace out! I'm going to relax.

Welllll....Another Confession

*update* I'm starting to put the links at the bottom of each post so that you can get straight to the post, but still have access to any of the other posts if you're new or just want to go back to an older, related post.

*sigh*

I can't seem to keep up. Life has taken it's toll on me these past two weeks and I think my loss in momentum from last week has just steam rolled right through this week.

So much so that when I cracked the book thinking I'd rejog my memory a little on what I had learned, I realized that I hadn't cracked the book at all. I can't even remember that I didn't crack it.

I'm asking God to give me the strength to not pick up the easy reads or the iPad if I haven't cracked the pages of PoPW or if I haven't spent time praying for my husband.

The good news is that in this time, my time spent with God hasn't completely slipped away and I'm still working through reading through the entire Bible. However, I still feel like I'm meeting the bare minimum to even feel like He's still here. To feel like my relationship with Him isn't being taken for granted.

He is still speaking to my heart.

He spoke to it today through the message we taught at VBS.

Our church is doing Kingdom Rock, where every day the main point learned has to do with something that helps us "...stand strong!" (I think I'm going to start saying it in my sleep we say it so much. Ha!)

Today's main point was all about how "Prayer helps us stand strong!" I found it slightly amusing that the point today would be that as I knew I was supposed to be typing up a post on praying for my husband. Throughout the day, we kept talking about how it helps to pray about everything.

The good.

The bad.

The ugly.

The hurtful.

The happy.

You name it, God wants you to talk with Him about it.

And I was convicted. Convicted because, though at the time I was pretty sure I hadn't been forgetting to pray for my husband, I don't pray about everything. I was more so when one of the activity station leaders talked about praying when you're cut off by a car. Let's just say I don't pray but I'm doing better in that I don't cuss at them, and generally don't yell. (Yay! No more risen blood pressure from other horrible drives. And Houston is full of them, you guys.) :)

Anyway, the thought of praying, asking God to give me patience in those situations, to let go of what doesn't matter, to pray when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope with my daughter, to thank Him when I'm blessed by the sweet heart He has instilled in Zoë, it left me wishing that I did that more. Left me wanting for such a strong relationship with Him that everything around me brought me to my knees.

I know I will never be perfect. I know that on my own I will fail. And even when my heart desires most to seek Him, I will still be imperfect because I am tainted by the sinful human nature that will only be completely gone with no traces when I'm given my glorified body. (Oh, how I eagerly wait for that day!!) But He has given me His Spirit to help me and sees me as clean because of the blood of Jesus.

So I hope and pray that as I continue to learn, I will seek Him and find myself on my knees constantly, because the more I am on my knees, the more I am communing with Him.

___________________________________________________________

Over a 30 week period, which I started with an intro on May 1st, I will be doing a weekly series where I talk about my journey through Stormie Omartian's Power of  a Praying Wife. I felt led to pray for my husband, wanted to incorporate the book, but knew that doing a 30 day challenge was next to impossible. (Let's face it: life with a baby just-turned-Toddler changes and there are still nights with many wake up calls due to teething or illness. I'd already tried once and failed.)  So this series was born as a way to share, encourage, and hold me accountable to the commitment I made. I'll keep a list of links just below this on each post so you can easily access them all. Enjoy!

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone  Week 10: The Passion Inside

Oh, the Energy!

Yes.

I think that captures it perfectly.

I literally get home after VBS and wish that I could sleep the rest of my afternoon away.

Tonight I'm so tired I honestly don't have much else to give you.

The only thing I can think about regarding VBS is how little my kids respond to the questions. No matter how I phrase them. I have never seen a more "shy" group of kids.

And I've never had so much trouble. It's kind of catching me off guard.

But...

I am seeing the kids who weren't dancing yesterday during our singing start doing so today.

And I count that a win.

Yay!

*OMG I'm so tired I feel like I'm a little delirious.*

Hope everyone enjoyed their Tuesday! I'm going to hit the sack! :)

Dejá Vu

First off, was my last post really last Wednesday?! I thought for sure I had posted at least on Thursday and possibly Friday, but alas, everything seems to melting together these days and I sometimes don't know my right from my left. Well, that's going a little far, but still. I think you get the point.

Anyway, this week is sure to be full of fun. And exhaustion.

I woke up this morning dragging my feet and wondering if I was going to have all the energy I did when I was camp counselor back in high school. Not really sure why, but preparing myself and Zoë to leave this morning was vaguely remeniscent of those good ol' days.

Whatever it was, I felt like I was gearing up to be a camp counselor for my church's VBS that kicked off this morning. Part of me wondered if I would have the stamina to make it through, especially considering my recent dealings with RLS and extreme fatigue. (I'll post more on that in a few weeks. Just not quite ready to talk extensively about all that yet.) I thought for sure I would crash and burn at some point, ready to completely hand over the reigns to my middle school helper. (Who is AWESOME! by the way :)

Yet, God gave me everything I needed. It was a sure sign to me that I wasn't hearing Him wrong when I felt He was laying it on my heart to sign up for this week.

(Total side note: as I'm typing, someone is rolling through my apartment's parking lot with their bass so loud that it's making me sick. How do people stand that? Am I wrong to think that just maybe they are already deaf? Or is that me giving them to much credit for being considerate of others? No this is not a pet peeve of mine at all...I will say that I am way sensitive to bass, but still...really?! I digress.)

Anyway, so the morning ran by rather smoothly.

And I made it all the way through with a genuine smile on my face, the right words to help all 10 (Yes. You read that right. I felt like I had a whole huge family I was guiding and helping and teaching.) of my kids enjoy their morning, and the patience to deal with those who kept talking or couldn't sit still or when they all started getting antsy. I mean, I have 10 kids with the oldest being no older than 11 as they are going in to 5th grade and the youngest are going into 1st grade which means they're...what? 6? It's literally like having to keep a family together and functioning.

Here's to hoping I sleep well enough this week that my trip to Arkansas on Saturday isn't a complete disaster. And maybe Zoë will be so tired from it all she'll take lots of great naps in the car on the way. Or at least stay entertained all by her lonesome.

I truly hope that I'm able to help these kids grasp what we're learning. Today was all based on how God's love helps us to stand strong. The entire week is based on teaching them how God has placed so many different things in our path to show us that He loves us and cares for us.

The day surely felt like dejá vu, but of the best kind. And not really in a weird way.

Here's to an entire week filled with lots of kids!

Praying for Him: The Passion Inside

Over the next 30 weeks, which I started with an intro on May 1st, I will be doing a weekly series where I talk about my journey through Stormie Omartian's Power of  a Praying Wife. I felt led to pray for my husband, wanted to incorporate the book, but knew that doing a 30 day challenge was next to impossible. (Let's face it: life with a baby just-turned-Toddler changes and there are still nights with many wake up calls due to teething or illness. I'd already tried once and failed.)  So this series was born as a way to share, encourage, and hold me accountable to the commitment I made. I'll keep a list of links just below this on each post so you can easily access them all. Enjoy!

Week 1: Intro     Week 2: Starting with Me     Week 3: His Identity     Week 4: His Treasure

Week 5: His Sexuality   Week 6: His Hugs, Kisses, and "I love you"s  Week 7: His Achilles Heel

Week 8: His Battlefield  Week 9: What Cripples Everyone

___________________________________________________________

Well, last week God was gracious.

This week.

Well, everything seemed to fall off the face of the earth over here. Life just wasn't normal.

Not that it was bad or that I overfilled my calendar. I actually didn't. Most of it was spent at home with Zoë hoping that I would be able to be there for her throughout the day.

And though I'm not too sure the reason that I couldn't muster what I needed to get up in the morning to be quiet, I do know that the alarm was slapped. Multiple times.

My sleeping patterns haven't been the best lately, more or less that restless leg syndrome has the best of me for now.

And so in this, I have to confess that this week lacked heavily on the side of even spending time with my Jesus. Much less focused time in prayer.

But I'm learning God is gracious in many ways. And though this past week was not the best of my efforts mixed with some slight physical limitations, my heart is at peace knowing that God loves me even though I didn't bring my best last week. And will guide me in praying for my husband's purpose to be made known in the weeks, months, and years to come.

He is helping me to see that it's ok if I have to find a different way to work in my time with him than first thing in the morning. 

He is showing me that maybe I learned most this week by seeing that praying for my husband's God-given purpose isn't just going to be a one week thing (Let me say that I don't think any of the topics addressed in Stormie's book are a one time thing.), and that just by praying for it in a week doesn't mean that tomorrow Ben will suddenly know exactly what God has in store for him as far as living a life that is most glorifying to God.

That mentality of praying and it will be answered almost immediately. I think it pervades a lot of our thoughts. I know it can invade mine. Likely because we live in such an affluent country that is very much "I want it now so I'm going to get it now." And unfortunately, I'm not exempt from that struggle.

As I think about it, I realize that this week can really tie into last week where praying against fears can also open doors to pray for God's purpose for our lives to be shown to us and steps towards it made known. And yet there is always a caution of demanding it from God instead of asking Him to give us what we need to lean on Him even while we're waiting.

I know. It's not much for this week. But I'd rather be honest with you where I'm at. To hopefully serve as a reminder that we are human, we all need encouragement, and a great reminder, at least for myself, that I am in great need of God.

This life. Oh, this life! I cannot and desire that my heart never want to do life without Him.

I hope I never lose site of Him, no matter how much my flesh may fail.

Determination to Go

It's been a long day over here. In a good way.

But we're in the neighborhood of new tricks over here, and since that's about all I can think about right now, I thought I'd let Zoë show off her stuff for you.

Oh and you get some antics of our neighbor B, too.

A Low-key Weekend

Well, I'm not sure I napped enough, but that being said, I know that I took several naps off and on all weekend. And it was glorious.

To say I needed a low-key weekend after hosting my parents and then my in-laws is an understatement.

Not that we didn't enjoy our time with them. I just drain my batteries even when I'm spending time with people I enjoy spending time with.

Anyone else understand my sentiments here?

Friday started like all the others, willing myself out of bed so that we could eat breakfast and greet the new day.

But, for the first time, and hopefully not the last, we went to a play group one of the gals from church had told me about. Though Zoë is "behind" the other kids in that she's still not walking, she seemed to enjoy all the mayhem around her while she found toys to entertain herself. Not a complaint was heard from her little mouth, while I thoroughly enjoyed meeting new faces and getting to know a few people I've met better.

The exciting part of this is that they meet weekly, pretty much. And so hopefully, we will begin making connections through some of the people here and building friendships.

Another place to connect. Yay!

Friday afternoon and evening was spent relaxing around the home, enjoying one another's company, and watching How to Train Your Dragon. Ben was ready to watch it, as it was his Father's Day gift, and we'd yet to watch it.

To say that we love animated movies around here is likely a gross understatement.

It was nice to "sleep in" Saturday morning, as Zoë slept until almost 7 because Ben wasn't rummaging around getting ready for work. I'm certain that I was not blessed with the deepest of sleepers when it comes to children. She did not get her father's genetics here. I've never been able to sneak in on her during naps, never know if she'll wake if I have to go in her room at night, and certainly know that she wakes early in the morning because of Ben getting up and moving around.

Saturday was a mostly lazy day where we watched as Zoë continually took more and more steps on her own, read books to her, and likely the same one 1405398 times, and tried to get her to laugh. Or really, she was trying to get us to laugh. She's a clown, I tell you. She loves getting people to smile.

She also is in the phase where she wants everyone around her to mimic her. Fun times.

Saturday afternoon we went on our weekly grocery shopping trip. Though I used to go in the middle of the week, it somehow started falling on the weekend, and Ben really likes going grocery shopping together so I don't object. I'm certainly no fan of the grocery shopping so it's nice to have someone with me.

Saturday night we went on a home date, which is almost always what happens right now because they are the cheapest :) We enjoyed yummy Chick-fil-a sandwiches and rented Oz the Great and Powerful.

To be honest, I wasn't impressed. If you follow me on twitter you might have already seen that I wasn't impressed. The acting wasn't bad, the story didn't capture me though. It was also highly predictable which was not made up for in other areas of the movie. I mean, most of us know Dorothy's story from The Wizard of Oz and many of us have seen the Broadway musical Wicked, or read the book. There isn't too much we don't already know. And so I feel that better be covered for in other areas of the story.

But it was lacking. So much so that I picked up my iPad forty minutes in and started fiddling around on it.

Then there was Sunday. The day that I love because I know that I'm generally guaranteed at least a 2 hour nap and we have church in the morning. Though I'd be lying if I said that I was more excited about church than the nap this weekend. It's just the way things happen sometimes.

I did really enjoy the message our pastor spoke on this Sunday - he delved into how a critical spirit can quickly kill everything around it. Ouch! It definitely was convicting, but in a way that was also very uplifting. I certainly walked away with a lot to think about in hopes of keeping my heart in a good place.

We then came home, ate lunch, and napped.

We also finally purchased Zo bug a life vest, which we've desperately needed. I've started fearing for her life in the pool because she starts thrashing and trying to get out of our arms. A little nerve wracking for me to say the least. Hoping that the life vest will help keep her face up and enjoy the water a little more freely.

Oh and in other news, she is now forward facing in her car seat. Her poor little legs were all squished up against the seat that I just couldn't hold out until 18 months. I know the new AAP guidelines suggest waiting until 2 years, but I'm not so sure I'd have been able to take her anywhere if we'd waited that long. Ben and I discussed it, and considering she meets the requirements for forward facing in her seat, we agreed that she was stable enough to ride forward. Her seat also has an intermediate reclining position for forward facing. Yay!

All in all, we had a wonderful, low-key weekend. One much needed around here.

Hope your weekend was enjoyable too!