Fried Brain, anyone?

Yes. Seriously. I can tell my eyes are currently blood shot. And no, I have not been drinking, though I won't deny a nice glass of wine to relax me might be nice. There isn't even a wonderful, carbonated beverage in my house.


That will turn your hair gray. Make you want to scream 'til the walls fall down. Wish you had lost your hearing. Oh and if you're like me, eat every single crumb, drop, nibble, etc, etc of junk food within a twenty gagillion mile radius of you.

It also will remind you, you are just like those parents you label "crazy, horrible, selfish, etc" and wonder how on earth they killed their child. Shaken baby syndrome - it's a horrifically, real tragedy. And anyone is able to succumb. Because we are human and have limits; I know no one who operates properly when they are fatigued and frustrated and dying of a severe character make-over to change the want of being selfish to a total selflessness.

Please understand. I have not and, by God's grace, will not harm my child. I know my limits and if I cannot hold her without anger and frustration continuing to rise, she is calmly placed in a crib so I can find a way to release it and not on her.

Oh, and just so you know, we're only in the beginning phases. We're not even cutting the tooth/teeth; we're just getting used to them moving up in the gums. 


Here is what I'm learning through all this: How to Be a Parent 101. AKA?

Total dependence on the Creator and keeping your relationship with Him thriving, which means time with Him daily.

If I've said it once, I will say it a thousand times over - I don't know how people do it without God. We are flawed. All of us. And I know I am a terrible wretch without Him. I have no motivation to be good without Him.

Maybe a bit off topic, forgive me (my brain is fried, remember?), but through parenting, I am learning how much I can love one human being. If I can love that much, oh what a glimpse of how much God loves me. My love for Zoë is so miniscule in comparison to God's love for me.

What a wonderful daily realization I am having.

Parenting is way hard, but so unbelievably WORTH IT!

1 comment:

  1. I remember having a moment with a newborn and thinking "Wow. I can totally understand how someone could shake a baby now." While it is still wrong I have a greater understanding for how absolutely worn out and frustrated those people must have been.


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